


On Occasions

by Mad_Hamlet



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/F, Female Homosexuality, Femslash, Lesbian Sex, Oral Sex, PWP, Plot? How'd that happen?, Sex, Shower Sex, Wall Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-22
Updated: 2017-03-24
Packaged: 2018-01-26 04:17:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 58,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1674416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mad_Hamlet/pseuds/Mad_Hamlet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An experiment in PvP. Three authors well known in that fandom set out on a project. A ten part re-imagining of BtVS Season Three. The authors would take turn placing the ladies in the tale is situations based on or around particular moments from canon. Rare moments, transient possibilities.</p><p>Occasions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Slumber Party

Disclaimers;  
The fine folks at Mutant Enemy (GRR, ARGH) own them. I’m just having a little fun with them. 

Author’s note;  
Long story short; Mad-Hamlet received a challenge for a Buffy/Willow fluff piece, and he recruited Shyfox and myself to assist. And so was born the “On Occasion” series. The storyline takes place during Season Three. Each of us will write separate chapters, more or less self-contained.

Rating;   
NC-17. Deals with two young women getting it on. You have been warned.

Pairing;   
Buffy and Willow

Spoilers;  
“Anne”, “Dead Man’s Party”, “Faith Hope and Trick”

 

Summary;  
What should have happened after “Dead Man’s Party”

On Occasion; At a Slumber Party  
By Kirayoshi

So she called home to say she'd be late   
He said, he worried but now he feels safe   
I'm glad you’re with your girlfriend   
Tell her "Hi" for me

So I looked at you, you had guilt in your eyes   
But it only lasted a little while   
And then I felt your hand upon my knee 

And we laughed at the world   
They can have their diamonds   
And we'll have our pearls   
I kissed a girl 

I kissed a girl, her lips were sweet.   
She was just like kissing me   
I kissed a girl, won't change the world   
But I'm so glad   
I kissed a girl   
—Jill Sobule  
“I Kissed A Girl”

 

One of the few great pleasures in my hectic life was sipping on a mocha at the Espresso Pump listening to my best friend babbling.

Oh God this felt so right. I was back in Sunnydale, back with my mom, my friends, Willow. I didn’t know what was going to happen next, but as long as I had Willow at my side, I knew I could handle anything that life on the Hellmouth threw at me.

“I mean, I'm not a full-fledged witch,” she was explaining. “That takes years. I just did a couple pagan blessings and...a teeny glamour to hide a zit.”

“Does it scare you?”

“It has. I tried to communicate with the spirit world, and I so wasn't ready for that. It's like being pulled apart inside. Plus I blew the power for our whole block. Big scare.” I could her voice fade the way it did when she was nervous.

“I wish I could've been there with you,” I assured her.

“Me, too. I really freaked out.”

“I am sorry,” I repeated again. Oh my dear Willow, I am so sorry, so sorry that I haven’t been the best friend you so richly deserve. I resolved to correct that shortcoming of mine immediately. Starting tonight.

“It's okay. I understand you having to bail. I can forgive that. Mm, I have to make allowances for what you're going through a-and be a grownup about it.” I noticed the slightly smug look on her face. She knew that I saw it, too. Having a little fun at the Slayer’s expense, are we?

“You're really enjoying this whole moral superiority thing, aren't you?”

“It's like a drug!” Oh, yes, give me that sweet smile, Willow.

But don’t expect me to give up without a fight. “Fine! Okay. I'm the bad. I can take my lumps... for a while.”

“All right. I'll stop giving you a hard time.” Yeah, right! “Runaway.”

“Will!”

Willow just giggled at me. “I'm sorry! Quitter.”

I can play that game too. “Whiner.”

“Bailer.”

“Harpy.”

“Delinquent.”

“Tramp.”

“Bad seed.”

“Witch.”

“Freak.”

“Slumber party.”

Willow was about to say something back at me, but stopped. She looked at me for a second, then said, “I don’t get it. What kind of put-down was that?”

“That wasn’t a put-down, Wills,” I answered. “It was an invite. Mom’s stuck doing the inventory thing at the gallery on Friday, so she won’t be back ‘till midnight. If you’re not doing anything with Oz, ya wanna crash with me?”

Willow turned on that one-thousand-watt smile of hers. “I’d love to. Count me in, and I’ll bring the microwave popcorn.”

* * * * *

“—So Mom hands Snyder the letter from the school board, ordering him to reverse my expulsion, and suddenly he looks like all the air’s been let out of his face.” Willow rocked on her hips, laughing loudly. “No, wait, I haven’t gotten to the good part yet. I’m being calm about it, commenting how the entire school board voted to reverse his decision, and Mom gives me this look, so I shut up. The she looks at Snydeman and says, very calm, very sweet; ‘I think what my daughter is trying to say is –Nyeah, nyeah, nah nyeah, nyeah!’ ”

That sets her over the edge, giggling uncontrollably, which sets me off giggling as well. She was wearing her cow pajamas, while I had my sushi PJs, and we were chatting about everything and nothing, scarfing popcorn, listening to our favorite CDs and watching Forrest Gump for the umpteenth time. Just being with her, laughing with her, this is what I missed. Oh yes, hello, my old life, how I missed you.

“Well, anyway, Buffy,” she said once she was able to control her laughter, “it’s good to have you back. I missed having you in class.”

“Yeah, me too.” I sat looking at her silently, gauging her face as she looked at me. It was as though I was looking at her for the first time, and she was the most beautiful person I ever knew. No other way to put it. She was beautiful, inside and out.

“So,” she asked quietly, her voice nearly a whisper. “How was Los Angeles?”

I lowered my head, unable to face her. “Dark. Like Sunnydale, only bigger.” I took a swig of diet Coke for courage. “A lot bigger. All I wanted was to not be who I was. I changed my name to ‘Anne’, took a job at a diner, got an efficiency apartment and tried to forget myself. But it didn’t work out. Some demons were kidnapping homeless people and enslaving them. I got involved with the demons and kicked their collective butts.”

“Go Buffy, go Buffy,” Willow chanted, “go, go, go Buffy!”

“Thanks,” I managed to smile for her benefit. “I guess it was that set-up that made me realize that I can’t run away from who I am. I’m the Slayer. That’s part of the baggage, and I’m stuck with it. For life.” I turned my face away from her. I didn’t want to see the hurt I knew was in her eyes.

I could feel her fingers on my face as she gently turned my head to look back at her. “Don’t forget, Buffy,” she soothed, her voice pure velvet, “you’re stuck with me for life also.”

I had to smile at her words. “Best fate I can imagine,” I answered.

Willow’s smile slowly morphed into a slight smirk. “Glad you think so,” she started, grinning wickedly, “freak.”

I raised my eyebrows. So we were back to that, were we? “Nerd.”

“Priss.”

“Geek.”

“Butch.” That one was odd. What was she saying?

“Femme.” Two can play at that game.

“Them’s fighting words, Slayer,” she challenged, and for a second, I could see a flash of … of something, a strange new fire in her eyes. I liked that fire.

I wanted to see more. “What are ya gonna do about it, Willow?”

She answered with a pillow, expertly launched, square in the face. Hard enough to scatter a few feathers across my room, and even get one stuck in my mouth. Once my eyes opened from the impact of her missile, a laughing Willow, an evil gleam in her eyes, greeted my vision. 

“Of course you know,” I replied, grabbing my pillow, “this means war!” And the battle was joined. I connected to the side of her head, knocking her on her side, but she recouped quickly. Soon, feathers were flying and we were throwing pillows furiously and giggling mercilessly.

Suddenly, she leapt at me, knocking me flat on my back, pinning my shoulders with her hands. Hands that were suddenly stronger than I ever thought possible. Or was it that I didn’t want to fight her off?

“I got you now, Slayer,” she growled at me, “What are you gonna do now?”

Her face was flush with victory, with triumph, and possibly with something else. Passion? What made me think that? What made me look at her through different eyes?

What made me do what I did next?

I tilted my head to the side, leaned upward and kissed her.

Not too hard, but more than just a friendly peck on the cheek. I kissed her. 

I was kissing her. 

I was kissing Willow. 

On the mouth.

And it didn’t seem odd.

And she wasn’t pulling away in shock.

Not for the first ten seconds, at least. Then she lifted her head away from mine, and I unintentionally followed, only wanting to prolong the contact. She shook me off, and I found myself gasping for air. Must have been longer than I thought if I was winded. I saw Willow breathing a little heavier than usual, she must have had to catch her breath.

Oh God let that be it. Don’t let it be anything more.

“Uh, Buffy?” she whispered, a confused expression playing at her brow. “Did you, uh, just kiss me?”

I wanted to back away, but her hands were still pinning my shoulders. “Uh, sorta, kinda, yeah.” I looked at her, desperate for some sign that everything was good with her, that I hadn’t blown our friendship away.

Her lips stretched almost imperceptibly. Was that a smile? Dear God let it have been a smile. They stretched a little more. Yes! It was a smile. Thank God! “How was I?”

I smiled back, relieved that she still wanted to speak to me, that she wasn’t too embarrassed. “Not bad. I mean, soft, sweet, was that cherry lipgloss?”

“Strawberry,” she answered. 

“Oh, right. Strawberry.” Oh yeah, gotta love strawberry. “Uh, How about me? Was I any good?”

“Hmm…” she started, her adorable lips pursed in thought. “Ya gotta remember I haven’t had much experience, I mean, so far it’s just been Oz, and he’s good, no problem with kissage there, but you’re good too. Real good.” She moved her face just a hair closer to mine, her voice becoming a soft, throaty whisper. “Real, real good. Of course—” she stalled slightly, “uh, I may need to test that again. That is, if you don’t mind.”

Did Willow just ask me to kiss her again? Ogod, she did. And her face is leaning in even closer. She’s gonna kiss me again. And I want her too. “Uh, no, no minding here.” I managed to say before her lips brushed mine again. They strayed against mine, a faint taste of strawberry teasing my mouth. I must have opened my mouth slightly, to taste her lips, because I could feel something against my tongue. Her tongue. Oh my God, we were French kissing! I was Frenching Willow!

“We should stop,” I pushed her away, as gently as I could. “This is getting intense.”

“You’re right,” she panted. Oh God, I was making Willow pant! “New territory here. Definitely not normal ‘best-friends’ behavior going on here.”

“We could end up hurting each other.”

“Not to mention the others.”

“Yeah, Oz. Don’t want to hurt Oz.”

“No, hurting Oz not a good thing.”

“So we should stop.”

“Yeah, stopping is good.”

Silence. I looked into her eyes. Her perfect green eyes.

“Willow, I don’t want to stop.”

“Me neither,” she lowered herself onto me, and we kissed. For real.

I could feel her hands lift from my shoulders and feel their way around my back. Sounded good, so I experimented with a similar move. I felt her lean into my arms, so I figured I was doing something right. I motioned to her to rise slightly, and managed to lift us both into a sitting position, our lips never losing that sweet connection. Her tongue danced against mine as we explored each others mouths. 

A small part of me was screaming out, “This is wrong! She’s your best friend!” And I knew that this was gonna have consequences down the road. After all, most of your name brand religions pretty much dismissed what we were doing as a heinous sin. But holding her against me, kissing her and being kissed by her, it wasn’t just pleasurable. There was a rightness to it. A sense of belonging, a bond that had always existed between us. Like soulmates.

Were we soulmates?

When your best friend’s hands are suddenly preoccupied with unbuttoning your pajama top, deep philosophical questions are not the right thing to have in mind. Especially when your own hands are trying to do likewise to her. I backed off, and she pouted. “Easy, Willow,” I smiled at her. “I just want to take a look at the package.” I managed to get the last button undone, and felt a strange heat rise within me as she shimmied her top off. White lace bra. How did I know that she’d go for white lace? Simple, elegant, and sexy as hell. And how’s this for convenience, the clasp’s in the front.

I moved my hands toward the clasp, watching her eyes to make sure that she’d welcome my advances. She nodded, her breath catching in her throat. I undid the clasp, and saw the bra pop open, revealing two small but pert breasts, round as tangerines, tipped with the most incredible red nipples.

“Willow,” I whispered, “Cordy was an fool for ever making you think that you weren’t beautiful.”

I could see my Willow’s face redden to match her hair. “You think so?”

“I know so,” I affirmed. I noticed at this time that my top was open, so I stripped it off and threw it in the general direction of my chest of drawers. I then reached around my back and unclasped my bra, tossing it onto the pile with my top. “Might as well be even.”

Willow leaned back to better appraise my figure, and I turned slightly, showing myself off. “See anything you like?”

“Oh, Buffy,” she said sadly. “I wish I had your body.”

It hurt me to see her like this, doubting her own self-worth, cursing her image, her looks, her beauty. I scooped her in my arms, and kissed her brow, the space between her eyes, her nose, that little cupid’s bow under her nose, and her lips. “Tonight,” I promised her, “you do.”

She leaned her body against mine. Her nipples rubbed against my breasts, making them stand out, and I was suddenly aware of a growing heat between my legs. “That is,” I amended my statement, “if I can have your body as well.”

She smiled a wicked smile at me, before leaning in for a more passionate kiss. “Deal,” she said against my mouth. She squirmed against my body, making me hotter with each fleeting contact. Oh God, I wanted this.

Suddenly she stopped, and sagged into me. “What do we do now, Buffy?” I tried to mask the sudden fear that emerged within me, the fear that I had somehow done irrevocable damage to our friendship. She smiled at me, and added, “I mean literally, Buffy. What do we do now? I mean, kissing’s great, no problem, but what do we do after that?”

I warmed to her words. Hell, I was hot for her. “What do you want to do?”

“I want to touch you.”

I could feel my pulse quicken. We were at the threshold now; whatever happened tonight, nothing would ever be the same. I swallowed hard, then said, “Then touch me.”

I could feel her fingers, slowly, almost hesitantly, making gentle contact with my chest. A first clumsy grope, kinda like a typical third date. But her hands were so much softer than any guy’s hands. And she didn’t grab them. Slowly, oh so slowly, her fingers traced the curve of my breasts, the outline of my nipples, while her thumb was teasing the tips, making them harden with arousal.

No way I was gonna let her do this without giving her what she gave me. I touched the skin just underneath her breasts, feeling her arch her back at my touch. Taking the initiative, I caressed her as she was caressing me, slowly and gently. All the while, our lips were fused together, our tongues playing gently, languidly tasting each other.

Her hands spread a magic fire through my nerves, heightening each touch, each sensation, ten, twenty, a hundred times over. Her left hand was tweaking the nipple slightly, each pinch and nip just adding fuel to my fire. Feeling wicked, I decided to push this envelope further. I trailed my right hand just under her breasts, down her ribcage, slowly feeling every square inch of skin on her taut little body. Feeling my way down, I found myself suddenly encountering the barrier of flannel and elastic at her pajamas. Gently, oh so gently, didn’t want to spook her, I slid my hand under the waistband.

She almost jumped out of her skin at the contact, and broke off the kiss. “Uh, Buffy,” she asked tentatively, “what are you doing?”

“Relax, Wills,” I assured her. “Just tell me if you’re uncomfortable with what I’m doing. If you don’t want to do this, I’ll stop, no questions asked.”

She looked into my eyes, searching for the truth in my words. Satisfied that I was being square with her, her face relaxed visibly. I still had to be sure. “Is this okay, honey? Is this what you want?”

Willow closed her eyes, a lustful grin on her face. “Oh yes,” she breathed. “This is so what I want.” I didn’t need any more encouragement. My hand seemed to have a mind of its own as it reached under her pajamas, and started to finger her soft cotton panties. I wanted to take things slow, to keep from panicking her, so I trailed my fingers around the inside of her thighs. She hissed as I touched her there, which I took as a good sign. I cupped the crotch of her panties, feeling her dampness through the cotton. 

“Oh my,” I purred in her ear, “my little witch is excited.”

“Oh yeah,” she groaned.

“This is turning you on, isn’t it?”

“Oh yeah,” she admitted, her voice revealing her arousal. All husky and breathy. “How about you?”

“Me? Turned on? Hell yeah,” I confessed gladly. God I wasn’t this ready for it since that time with Angel. And the fact that Willow wasn’t in any danger of turning evil after the fact somehow made it easier for me.

“Can I…” she hesitated. I turned her head toward me with my free hand.

“Can you what, Wills?”

“Can I… touch you?”

“Touch me where, Wills?” I teased her. I wanted her to say it.

“Where you’re touching me,” she groaned impatiently. “Between your legs.”

“Go for it,” I relented. I was too impatient to feel her hands on me. I could feel the heat and wetness between my legs, and needed release. 

Willow flashed me an elfin grin, and guided her hand toward my wetness. She was taking it slow, the little minx. I coaxed her on, slipping a finger past the elastic in her panties. My finger nestled in the tuft of hair just over her vagina, tickling her at her most vulnerable spot. “Oooh,” she cooed. “Don’t tease me, Buffy.”

“Look who’s talking,” I growled. “You’ve got me on the edge, girl.”

“Am I doing this right?” she asked me.

“Ohhhh!” I groaned as she stroked me through my panties. “You’re doing something right, babe.” She smiled, and slipped her hand under my panties, fingering the folds of my vagina.

Oh God, this was unreal! Two weeks ago, I despaired at ever seeing her again, now she was in my arms, doing things to me that no one had ever done before. Not even Angel. No, I decided, this was the most erotic experience of my life. Her hand in my vagina, my fingers in her pussy, our tongues deep in each other’s mouths---

A few more minutes like this and I was over the edge, awash in the most incredible orgasm ever. Judging from the cries of joy next to me, Willow was right behind me, her hand still dancing over my center as she crested. 

My bones felt like liquid. I was virtually unable to move, nor did I want to, with Willow’s body pressed up against mine. As I moved blissfully through the afterglow, I looked at my Willow’s face, her features in a canary-swallowing expression.

“Hello, Willow,” I smiled lazily.

“Hello yourself,” she answered.

“That was—” I paused, searching for the right word, “indescribable.”

“Oh man, you got that right,” she said back. “No regrets?”

I paused. She was a little afraid of what was gonna happen next. Her and me both. “I don’t regret a thing, Wills. You?”

“No,” she smiled at me, and I let out a sigh of relief at her words. “So, what happens next?”

“I’m thinking sleep,” I said, stretching my arms around her back, letting the embrace deepen.

“No, I mean between us.”

I feared those words, but I knew that it had to be dealt with. “Willow,” I answered as plainly as I knew how, “I never want to be anything less than your best friend. What happened tonight, it was special beyond anything I’ve ever known. It could be a one-time thing, or the beginning of something bigger.”

“Do you want it to be something bigger?” Willow asked me. “I mean, Oz and all, but still—“

I silenced her with a finger to her lips. “Willow, I’ll be honest. I had no idea that I could feel that way for you. But I do. I want to see where this goes, okay? I just don’t want to endanger what we already have, even if we could have something greater. But whatever else happens, I will always love you, Willow. Am I making any sense here?”

“Sounds clear to me,” she said. “You want to go slow. That works for me too.” She held up her right hand, her pinky extended. I knew what she wanted to do, and held my hand out like hers. She linked her little finger with mine, and said, “I, Willow Rosenberg, do hereby pinky swear that I will always be Buffy Summer’s best friend, no matter what else we become.”

“And I, Buffy Summers,” I swore with her, “do hereby pinky swear that I will be Willow’s best friend. Especially as we try to become more.” As I spoke the words, I knew that we had made a promise as binding as a wedding vow. One that we were both determined to keep.

This was going to be an interesting ride.

We connected our pinkies once more, then kissed again.

Love the taste of strawberries.

FINIS


	2. In The Limo

Disclaimer: All this belongs to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.(Gasp..moan.) Wait a sec...what the hell?

 

Drain Damaged Inc. Proudly Presents  
A Mad-Hamlet Production

 

On Occasion; In a Limo

 

"The last time I was in a limo was not fun Willow." I say crossing my arms. "And let me think, why, yes, that was just earlier this evening and shortly afterwards I had the joyful experience of being hunted."

She ignores me and runs ahead to get the limo door open. "For the Slayer." She says with an exaggerated bow.

I slump in the seat reluctantly. "Still not enjoying myself." I mumble.

She slides in the seat next to me and shuts the door. After quietly whispering to the driver the car pulls away from the curb. She settles beside me.

"Aw. Don't be grumpy." She whispers.

I squirm a bit, her hand has worked it's way up the back of my neck and she's running her fingertips through my hair along my scalp.

"Who says I'm grumpy?" I ask. It takes some effort but I manage to choke off the urge to purr.

Her fingers run along the rim of one ear and, against my wishes, I press my head a little harder into her hand. 

"What?" She asks innocently. "So the mighty Slayer isn't upset at, not only having lost the Homecoming crown, but also having her life saved by one Cordelia Chase?"

"She didn't save my life. Just..."

"Yeah?" Willow demands. Her tone belies her actions. Where one is demanding, pinning me to the floor, the other is soft, careful. Yes, we've cuddled since..ah...the begining. But...she's...

Ah.

Running a finger lightly along the hairline on the back of my neck..wow. 

"She...uh..just..happened to timely intervene." I stammer. Gotta change the subject. Turn the tables...could ask about Oz.. No. That's low.

"Willow...what are you doing?" Oh yeah, that was swift. Just invite her to make a coup de grace or whatever it is.

She slid closer and I didn't even notice. Her lips are just a hairsbreath from my ear. I think. I'm too afraid to turn my head. I can feel my ears getting hot. Is that her breath or...

"Me?" She breathes into my ear. Okay, it's both. "I'm timely..intervening."

"We'll be home soon." I don't want to object, but someone has to be pragmatic here. "And Mom, for once has bad timing. She's home."

"Yeah." Willow breaths. Her fingers still tracing patterns along my flesh. "Mine are too. My parents that is."

"So we better stop." I press home the point.

"Why?" She asks innocently. If I dared look at her I'd see mischief dancing in her eyes. But I can't. If I do I'll be lost. I want to be lost. Damnit, responsibility blows.

"Cause..." Oh..nibble..no..don't nibble. Nibbling bad. Check that...nibbling good! "Cause..no..uh..no time to finish what's been started."

"Something's been started?" She asks. Note to self. Don't talk. I talk, she answers..nibbling stops. Now that's bad!

I only nod. I could probably force myself to speak but that would distract me from the warm humm buzzing around my..self.

"I guess that's why.." Soft..she's so soft. "That I told the driver.." Her face is buried in the crux of my shoulder. She's nipping at my neck. My hand moves with it's own ideas and cups her cheek. "To just drive around until told to stop."

"Oh God Willow you're such a smart girl!" I give in to the demand, turn, grab her face in my hands and dive in.

It's been..feels like forever but we only cuddled a few days ago. She meets my advance with her own, equal need. Need? Sure. I feel needy, I feel hungry. I ...want this. So does she. I'm not stupid, it's sorta an obvious clue with the way our tongues are trying to wrap around each other. Her hands are fumbling with the zipper on the back of my dress. My own are tugging the straps of her dress off her shoulders. 

She breaks the kiss off.

"Not just any smart girl." She breathes. She's wearing her strawberry gloss. I swear off cherry for life! "Your smart girl."

"Amen." I whisper back. More kissage!

***

I swear I'm ready to pop. 

I'm so..divided. Part of me is screaming that this is wrong, being with a girl 'that' way. I pay it no never mind though. That's just panic.

Another part is ready to burn in embarrassment. We're getting..that's..uh..I..we're together. No that doesn't work, we're together lots but this is... Okay, alright, I'll say it. We're going to make love. In the backseat of car. 

Isn't this some sort of 'rite of passage' all girls have to go through? Hot lovin' in the back seat?

Well, at least it's a spacious back seat. Why am I complaining? I instigated this. Hope Buffy doesn't ask me why though. I'm pretty sure any embarrassment potential would hit critical mass. 'Oh yes Buffy, seeing you all hot n'sweaty, torn dress, kinda dirty, kinda messy but so very alive got _me_  
all hot n'sweaty! Nononono no no no..uh uh that would not work.

Ssss...course..uh..your nails tracing...un..patterns along my thighs..yeah..that works. Really well. In fact..it's really ..ha..working too well. Can't pay attention to er..what I was trying ..ohboy..to..do. 

No, no this is not good at all. I started this, I'm gonna finish it. We've been kissing the entire time, I sorta went on autopilot. Zoned. Buffy Summers Lips are a powerful zone causing element. Might I add highly addictive? She's trailing a path of tiny caresses with her lips along my jawline this very second. 

"Buffy turn around." I say. 

"Mmm.." 

"C'mon, turn around!" I pressed.

"But why?" She groaned slightly. 

"Cause I wanna play." Gosh, a sexual innuendo. What's happening to me? Where did shy Willow go? She wouldn't have realized an innuendo that was carefully introduced to her by name. 

Oh God, I just remembered that whole 'Playing Doctor' thing when Buffy was in the hospital. But I'm different, I'm..more. She's in my arms, she's turned around, albeit grumpily, and in the name of Tootins' I'm gonna play!

"Don't complain now." I kiss the back of her neck. She tries not to react but I feel her breath catch in your throat. "See? This way I can finally get this darn zipper of yours. Won't that be nice?"

"Yeah." She murmurs. I don't think she can hear me. Maybe that's because I've started nuzzling her while slowly unzipping the aforementioned dress. "Nice."

I ease the top off her shoulders, bending over as I do so to kiss my way down her neck along her back. Each new inch of skin I find and mark as mine. Her head has fallen back against my shoulder and it sounds like she's having a hard time remaining stoic. Good.

"You like?" I murmur.

"This..." She groans. "This shouldn't feel this good."

"Something's wrong then?" I ask innocently. Her arms have gone all slack so I have to lift them one at a time an ease them out of her dress.

"Oh no." I can hear her smile. "Something is very right."

I push the dress down to her waist slowly, dragging my thumbs along her ribs. Her head is still resting against my shoulder but now she's bare from the waist up save for her bra. 

It's a silky green one. When did she get it? It's beautiful, cups her breasts so lovingly. Giving them a slight push, leaving the tops almost completly exposed. So white and smooth and... it's almost a shame to take it off. Almost.

Oh, it's off. So much for regret.

I toss the bra over my shoulder. Really gotta remember to stop trying to be cool; it never works for me. The bra just bounces of the roof of the car and lands on my head. Buffy who's been watching me out of the corner of her eyes just stares at me. She's trying very hard not to laugh, she swallows a few times but manages to make do.

"Swell." I pout. "Seduction factor plummets like stone in river. Willow Wonder at three o'clock."

 

This is just so typical. I'm trying to be something more, be a little..extra. Buffy could have done, she'd have tossed my bra...I want her to toss my bra..I want her..she could have tossed it anywhere and it would have landed just in the right place. I can't even hit the ground! What if I destroyed the moment? What if I've broken everything? Would she leave me? Just wanna go back to being friends? No, not that. Once you've had Buffy, you can never go back. 

Buffy spins around instantly. How does she move that fast? 

"Don't you say that!" She admonishes me fiercely pointing at my face.. How she can be fierce while being exotic, yummy looking and topless all at the same time remains a mystery. 

"Don't you dare think that you're not anything less than incredibly desirable!" I blink. I think I blink. They are kinda fast. 

Desirable? 

Buffy slides right up next to me, the temperature just went up. She...her..they're..she's pressed up against me. She smiling a small smile.

"And as for seduction level.." She walks her fingers up my nose then runs them through my hair pushing my head back a little.

She bends down and begins to kiss her way down my neck while at the same time effortlessly slipping the straps of my dress along my arms till it falls free. She did this while kissing me and I couldn't even get a darn zipper. Ah well..it's all...in the ..is it supposed to feel so... tingly?

She hasn't stopped kissing me, down my throat above the rise of my..ah..no. They're mine, I can say it, say them. I've had them for, oh, at least four years now. She's kissing the rise of my bre..br..oh ..out of time..there goes..my bra and...she..hhmmm...hmmm...sweet...hmmm...

Fingers..can feel her fingers, caressing the underside..just barely though. What she's doing with her lips taking..up...most of ...mind. Huummm....right there...no..don't move...to the move back up..up!

I grab her head gently and steer her back on course but she resists. Nooo..she's stopped...don't leave my breasts! They want more attention, I want more attention! Where are you going you silly Slayer?

Hey. I said breasts! Yay ...

Stop that! That tickles..no no..don't scrape my ribs. You'll ruin the moment. She's kissing me still..down..down...

I feel her hands leave my sides. Now she's cradling my calves. Sliding her fingers slowly up along the insides of legs while she keeps dabbing at my bellybutton. It stopped tickling..feels nice. Not nice like it was earlier but nice...

Gentle pressure on the insides of my thighs. She's easing ..me..open and her ..lips are ..still...moving down and..she..she's..

"Buffy?" I recall that this is how one is supposed to talk. However I seem to be squeaking. "What are you doing?"

She stops her nuzzle, lick, kiss technique to look up at me. She's now crouched on the floor of the limo, between my..legs. Her hands have slipped up to my hips and her fingers have curled around the band of..eh..heh..my panties. All I have to do is lift my butt and...

Check that, I probably wouldn't have to do even that. She's got all those nifty slayer muscles.

She tilts her head up to look me in the eyes. She's got that half smile on her face, it's her 'I think I've got a good idea, really.' look. 

"I've always called you yummy Willow." She says. "Now I'm going to test that claim."

She's not talking loudly but her every word is echoing inside the limo. Or my head. I'll never forget her tone, softness, the light in her eyes. This second is going right into long term memory. Labled under 'Things to Love in Recollection'. 

She's going to...she's going..she's gonna..gonna...

"Oh." I squeak.

"Okay." I lick my lips nervously. "Let's hope..uh..I'm..less filling?" 

She just smiles wider and I lift up off the seat so she..can...do what she ..wants.

***

Projecting confidence is easy. 

Being confidant. That's hard. In a way I'm jealous of Willow. She's strung tighter than a guitar string and I have every intent of giving her a really good 'twang'!

But at least she's comfortable enough to be uncomfortable! Around me that is. I don't know what the hell I'm doing, I don't even know why I'm doing! I've never done this before. With...er..that is. No, absolutely nothing similar to this in my past. Ever! 

It just..seems like a good thing to do. So..deep breath sla...no. Not the slayer. Deep breath Summers. Gonna make love to Willow in brand new ways!

She lifts her hips and I slide her panties down, slipping them over her ankles. 

Black lace! Impressive.

She's right there. In front of me. At eye level. New. 

It's not like I haven't seen stuff like this before...but I haven't. Not like this. Never before like this.

She's mine. She's ..sharing..allowing..doing this for me, us, her.. it doesn't matter. This is the first time. It'll only happen once and I have to appreciate it..I have to treasure it..I have to..stop being so damn introspective. 

Poor Willow's she's trying not to shake. Her hands are resting on her thighs beside my head and I take one in each of my own hands and kiss the palms. 

"Shhhh.." I say into her hands then look up at her. "Do you trust me?"

She begins to nod, stops, seems to reconsider and decides to say her mind.

"Yes. Yeah..I mean..wow..never would have seen this coming but..oh..but..I..y'know I should have. I mean I know I should have or something..and..yes. Yes I do trust you Buffy. Really."

When Willow speaks her mind she speaks _all_ of it!

I like that about her.

I close my eyes and inhale carefully. I can..smell her arousal. It's..not unappealing. I..want this..  
I do. Just..like that. Musty and..rich..sweet..I.. I think that's Willow in a way. She..reminds me..her..arousal..uh.. she's Willow. 

Yeah.

Gosh.

I lean down... I wanna go slow. Just like before. Don't want to startle her or nothing. I lay my cheek against the bare flesh of her left thigh and just begin to murmer. It's sooo..cool and soft against my cheek. I feel all..hot and..and..well..duh. But it's..her thigh..is so ..relaxing. I turn my face a bit and brush my lips across the skin. A tremor runs along her, I can see her hands squeezing into fists. Her breathing has gotten kinda husky and strained. 

I know the feeling.

I move up...kissing, licking. Where the tendon is most apparent just below..her.. I nip it between my lips.

Willow reacts with a low, humming sound in the back of her throat. 

"Hmmmmm..." She says. "Hmmmmm...."

She's moved her hands off her thighs and is resting them on top of my head. Her fingers glide through my hair, her nails moving back and forth over my skin. I bet she doesn't even know what she's doing. I wonder if she's even looking? I'm not about to stop to check. 

I stop. I need to focus..to..understand. This...is all happening so fast and ... I'm... not too sure. Gotta not get swept up but do this..because I want too

But..I do want too. I do. I'm so now aware of just how much, how right this is. My whole body is aching with need. Not for my own satisfaction though. For hers. I am going to play my Willow like an instrument and make sweet music! I'm going to rock her world and give her one hell of a memory. I'm going to give her ..give... I'm going to have her coming and going!

Without hesitating I dive in. 

I run my tongue slowly..from the bottom to the very top. 

I never thought it would be like this.

So...soft.

So...gentle.

So...sharing and sweet.

So...so...PAINFUL!!

 

I break off, flapping my hands about ineffectively. "Nails Willow!" I cry. "Nails, nails! Nails in my head! Bad! Ow! Ow! OWWW!!"

It takes a minute or two but a sense does return and I take a moment to pry Willow's hands from off my skull. 

"Oh God." Willow pants. I look at her.

Her head is thrown back on the seat, she's staring at the ceiling but I'm willing to bet money she doesn't see it. With her fingers pried loose from my scalp they're now hanging listlessly at her sides. Her chest heaves as she keeps repeating 'oh god' over and over. 

For a second I'm worried.

Then her eyes lock with mine.

Now I'm _really_ worried!

"You stopped." Willow says quietly.

"Well...cause ..uh..your nails..and..my head..kinda..y'know.." I stammer.

"Don't stop." Willow says. "Please..please please please don't stop."

I smile, it's probably a rather silly looking grin but I can't help feel a little proud. "That good huh?" I ask.

She shakes her head and swallows a few times. "You have no idea." She mumbles then shoots me a wicked grin. "But if you're good I'll show you!"

Now it's my turn to swallow. "Is...is that a promise?" I hope my voice isn't trembling. 

She slowly nods and her smile grows a very..appealing shade of 'Sneaky'. "Uh huh." 

"Then lean back babe and.." I grimace. "Hold on to your seat, not my head. You're about to go for a ride!"

"Goody." She murmurs.

I have to start over of course. I move to begin kissing her belly again but her hands on my shoulders intercept me. I glance up at her.

She's looking at me with such a...she seems so hungry and..desperate. "Please Buffy." She whines. "No more games."

"Now?" I ask. I have to fight now a victorious grin and settle for an appraising look complete with raised eyebrow.

"Now." She nods.

"Your wish..." I begin.

Moving down past her belly button, I get a tweak of regret it is such a cute navel, I give her a soft, tender kiss. The shudder that ripples down her is anything but, her pelvis thrusts outward and I have to pull back a bit or get clocked.

"More!" She gasps. "Please..oh please God now more!"

I oblige her.

Right at the top, just above her clit I poke that spot with my tongue. Willow gives another involuntary heave, not as...heftworthy as the first. I think I hear her nails tear through the surface of the car seats. Well, better it than my head.

Willow's breathing is nowhere near regular now. It comes in great shuddering gasps depending on what I do. If I just touch her she lets out this brief squeak, if I run my tounge from top to bottom or bottom to top she takes in this big gasp and then lets it out slowly with an accompanying 'hummmm..'

I said I'd play her like an instrument but this...

Her hands have left the seat and are now, again, entwined with my hair, it's risk but..I kinda like it. The tracing of her fingers, the squeezes. All tell me I'm doing something right, that it's special and she wants it, wants me. Needs me...maybe..maybe even.. I mean..I know I..that is..I think I..

Whoa! Must have done something right there! She's grabbed fistfuls of my hair, she's not pulling it so it doesn't hurt but..

"So close.." She whines. I can tell she's speaking between clenched teeth. "Oh God...little more..please...Buffy.."

I carefully enter her with just the tip of my index finger and curl it upwards to stroke gently at the top of her inside, at the same time I move my lips and caress her clit with my lips, licking it in time with the movements of my hand. 

I ..think that should do the...

"Yes..yes...yes....yes....." She approves. "Oh God..Oh God...Buffy..."

Her head whip-snaps back against the seat and I have to move fast to hold her down. My arms snake quickly around her legs so she can't kick away and I can keep in contact. It's good and right and sweet and I want her to have it forever and ever. Sides, she's good and right and sweet too.  
Did I just... well..she is. So there.

She heaves against the seat, but she never pulls at my hair even though her legs have wrapped around me and she has her ankles locked behind me, pulling me close. As if I'd ever pull away from her. 'Specially now.

This quiet wail echoes around me, I know it's her, it get's softer and softer as she comes down, slowly..I haven't stopping pleasing her. I kiss around her, her lips, I lick her up, eat her, satisfy her. Doing it right, doing it gently. Occasionally her wail starts to climb then ease back down..down..down..finally quiet. 

Just her, taking deep, slow...breaths. Sorta gasping but more restful. And I realize, we're both gasping. I'm resting right along with her and in my own way I'm satisfied. I've done good, I've done right and she looks so beautiful right now. I lay my head on the soft skin of her right thigh; her skin is cool again, no longer blazing with heat. I gaze up at her. She seems to glow. Her head is resting sideways, eyes half open in a droopy fashion. Her fingers still slide in my hair, slowly...slowly...and she just seems to be asleep..but not. 

I think...I think...I think I do...

"Kiss me." She mumbles.

"Sure!" I chirrup. "Just let me wipe.."

She yanks me up to her eye level and savagely practically swallows my head. Her tongue dances between my teeth and I just sit there and let it. She flickers about, tasting, kissing, sucking...I finally begin to return the kiss and her arms ease down the back of my head, over my shoulders to rest, clasped together around my waist. 

The kiss ends and she pulls away, I can't help it, I lean forward wanting more. Now that she's satisfied my own desires are screaming through me with a vengence. She intercepts me with a finger across my lips.

"Three things." She whispers while looking into my eyes. "One, I don't care about tasting or anything. Two. Thank you, it was....beyond..anything. It was...I can't..can't find the words." Her eyes glaze over a bit.

"And..and the third?" I ask. Yearning..wanting hoping..waiting.

"What?" She asks me innocently.

"Willow!" I try to be threatening but to my own ears it sounds like a plea. 

"Oh..right." She nods. "Three. Now you find out what words can't tell you." 

 

Still demonstrating strength that belies her nature she flips me over so our positions are reversed. She straddles my waist practically sinks her teeth into my neck. It's sudden and ferocious, nothing like her normal behaivore. My breath catches in my throat as totally unexpected sensations bombard me. 

Her hands trail down my sides bypassing my tits and I feel the frustration build, giving voice to it with a tiny whimper. I heave a bit, trying to get some stimulation, some feeling, anything more will do. I try and brush my chest against hers but she pulls away.

"Willow." I growl, I don't mean to but it's rolling around in the back of my throat, my heart, my mind. The Hunger. "Stop it... please. You promised to show me..." Now I'm whining. Greeeaaattt...

Willow pulls back and smiles impishly at me. "I did promise to show you Buffy. Never promised to make it quick though." Funny, her smile is the same old, adorable, Willow smile but for some reason, right now it looks a little...sharp?

I'm in trouble.

I slowly lift my arms and cradle her cheeks in my hands. She pushes her cheek against my palm, sorta like a cat and mumbles a bit. Almost like a purr. 

"Trust me?" She asks quietly.

"Yes." I say back and pull her in close, the kiss is soft, just lips to lips. More of a promise of touch than actual contact. With her face less than an inches from my own her eyes open very wide and I see a flash in her green eyes. Her smile is wide, fierce and predatory. 

"Good." She says back. 

Before I can blink she's ducked her head and her lips are fastened around my left breast. Again it's so damn fast! Too fast, it takes a heartbeat for my mind to register the new feelings ping ponging along my spine. Than it plays catchup. 

I think my brain just bounced off the top of my skull. 

I know I jumped off the seat and somehow in that split second Willow has snagged my panties and swept them off. At least I think. When I come back down and the stars stop popping in front of my eyes Willow, still straddling my lap, is smirking at me, dangling my underwear from the tip of one finger. 

"All this without Slayer bonuses." She chuckles. 

I can't say anything to that. I can't say anything at all. Sure the starts have faded away but my mind is still humming a happy tune. My whole body is thrumming, content, still hungry but ..it..I..we..know that this is it. 

"Nn..." I think I get that out. "W...Willow." 

"Shhhhh..." She whispers coming back close to me. Her lips grace the spot between my eyes. "Relax." 

Her lips trace over the rise of my nose and along it's tip. They slide lower, jumping over my own lips to give me a peck on my chin. She moves lower, resting her hands on my shoulders as her lips and tounge move down my throat, over my collarbone and slowly...oh god so slowly..in the valley between my tits. 

A sigh works it's way out and I let my head fall back. I close my eyes and savor the feelings. 

She slides off my lap and I feel her crouch down on the floor. Her tongue and lips never stop touching, moistening, kissing or licking me. Hey! I'm ticklish in my belly button too! I did not know that!

But it doesn't bother me. 

Her hands no longer reach my shoulders and she's moved them to cup my breasts but only for a second. Again I voice my disappointment with a slight whine. I hear her give a quiet giggle. 

Then...now..finally..her hands rest on my thighs. She's pushing, just a little, a request not a demand.  
I open my legs a bit, letting her in, letting her...I mean..she can ..that is..I'm ..I'm right there! For her. Part of me is rather embarrassed. 

Did she feel this way when the roles were reversed? Cause my stomach just got all tiny and scrunchwise. I can't seem to get enough air, my hands want to shake right off my arms. Am I shaking? Am I trembling? I can't tell...I know she did, but just a little. Did she feel this way and I had so little clue? She's tougher than she looks; but I knew that already. 

I'm so nervous..and needy..and I want this and ..strangly..I want to please her..again..but now it's my turn and she's gonna..she's about too..she..she...

...

.......

..........

 

Stars!

And  
uh...  
Holy...

God...  
Crashing

Under...  
...Falling...

...water...

Can't..

breathe......  
...don't...  
care.

OhGod  
OhGod  
OhGod  
OhGod  
OhGod  
OhGod  
OhGod  
OhGod

!

!  
!

!  
!!!

!

 

"Buffy?"

"Buffy?"

"Come back..c'mon..."

"Wills?" I mumble.

"Hey."

My eyes decide to work. First was was hearing, the roar flooding my ears finally faded. Now eyes work. Willow is sitting beside me with a half worried, half knowing smile on her face. That's not..all..she has on her face. 

Ah. There's feelings again. 

Oh...my. 

I've never...felt so..noodley. Like I was boiled, but in a good way. I don't think I have a solid bone in my body. They've gone all slushy on me. Mmmmm...but it feels so very nice. I'm so content right now. Not even Acathla doing an encore would bother me. 

"Welcome back." Willow smiles more widely.

She's all sparkly right now. A knowing grin showing teeth. I lazily flop my arm around her shoulders and pull her in for a kiss. As always, our tongues carry a merry duel but there's a certain lazy energy now. Not opening moves but more closure than anything else. The kiss ends and she pulls away still wearing that knowing smirk. 

"You look like a cat that swallowed a canary." I say beeping her on the nose with a finger.

"Meyow." She whispers. "I ate very well thank you."

"WILLOW!" I try and sit bolt upright but my muscles are all 'If you think we're moving, you're crazy. Enjoy the buzz Summers. Enjoy the buzz.' I have little choice but to agree.

She just giggles. "What?" She asks batting her eyelids. "We did the deed, still can't talk the talk?"

"Gods." I groan. "I've created a monster."

"Yeppers" She agrees still grinning. Than a look of worry crosses her face. "Uh..you're not going to stake me are you?"

"Well.." Now it's my turn to smile mischievously. "Not through the heart." I place my open hand in the vally between her breasts and delibritly slide it down over her belly stopping just before my fingertips can slide under her dress which is still bunched up around her waist.

Her eyes widen very much so and her she mouths a silent 'oh'. 

"Maybe something in pastels." I mumble still fingering the material of her dress.

"That a promise?" She oozes sensuality and brings her face close to mine, licking the tip of my nose. Our breasts mash together and it just heightens the lazy pleasure still thrumbing about my nerves. All a jingle-jangle that's me.

"Oooo.." I laugh. "You are nasty!"

"Actually I'm thirsty." She replies. Very nonchalantly too, considering we're in the back of a rented limo, basically naked. She looks a little more demure than I do, what with me being basically sprawled all over the back seat. 

"This thing got bar?" I mumble trying to make myself a bit more presentable. Willow reaches over and opens the right window with the flick of a switch. The cool air flows inside and I revel in the sensation of it sliding over my skin. Drying sweat and...y'know..stuff.

"Actually I did." She says and holds up a bottle. "Fruit punch?"

END-On Occasions; In a Limo

 


	3. The Bronze

Disclaimer: The characters of Buffy the Vampire Slayer belong to Joss Whedon, mutant enemy, and UPN. No profit was made by this fan fiction....except in my own enjoyment.

 

Subtext: Oh yeah, well...I'd actually call it Main text myself...but that's just me.

Summary: ummm, well, you know what usually goes on during an On occasion by now...this time, they're at the Bronze.

 

ON OCCASION:  
At the Bronze

Hey, little girl is your Daddy home,  
Did he go away and leave you all alone.  
Mmmhmm, I've got a bad desire.  
Ohhhhh, I'm on fire.

Tell me now baby is he good to you,  
Can he do to you things that I do.  
Oh no, I can take you higher.  
Ohhhhh, I'm on fire.

Sometimes It's like someone took a knife baby,   
edgy and dull, and cut a six inch valley through the middle of my soul.  
At night I wake up with the sheets soaking wet,  
and a freight train running through the middle of my head.  
Only you can cool my desire.  
ohhhhh, I'm on fire.

Bruce Springsteen

Finally the Bronze was back to normal, or as back to normal as the Bronze got. There were no more middle-aged parents running around trying to recapture their youth with the aid of cursed candy bars. Buffy had shut that little operation down. Thank god. Things had gotten just way too creepy. The fact that Trick had used the operation as a way to steal newborn babies from the hospital, without the parents being the wiser was just plain sick, even for vampires.

But that was behind her, the Bronze was back to normal and now she could get on with the business of having fun...with her favorite redhead...who appeared to be totally enraptured by the 'Dingoes' playing that very moment on stage. 

Actually, if Buffy didn't know any better, with the way the green eyes were all fogged over, and the little smile was growing on succulent lips that tasted like cherry...and Buffy wasn't about to reveal to anyone how she knew that...it looked like she wanted to devour the band...or more correctly, one band member in particular.

She looked around to see if anyone else was noticing what she was noticing, but Xander and Cordelia appeared to be in deep, silent communication of the international kind...yep, lots of frenching being done there, so they were no help. Well...Buffy stopped to consider...with them being distracted like that...maybe they wouldn't even notice if she went over and sat right next to Willow.

Plan in mind, she did just that, squeezing into the large, overstuffed, yellow chair that was Willow's current haven. "Hey." She greeted, her voice chipper. "Having fun?"

Willow jumped, guiltily. She'd known Buffy had said she was going to join them later, after her patrol, but she hadn't even seen her come in. She had been distracted...very distracted, Xander's close presence, who was currently enjoying the favor's of his current girlfriend, who she guiltily acknowledged she was jealous of, not to mention being ashamed of the looks and glances and touches that the life-long friends had been stealing from each other, with none of their significant others being the wiser, not to mention the extremely pleasant...things she was doing with Buffy, while her current boyfriend Oz was none the wiser, were all adding up to make a very confused brain. To distract herself, she had been attempting to focus all of her energies on Oz, who was at the moment thrilling her with his performance on stage, but she couldn't help remembering that long limo ride after homecoming, the way Buffy had made love to her, so tenderly, touching her in ways she hadn't even known existed. 

This was all wrong, wrong, just wrong. What was the matter with her? Was she a nymphomaniac or something? She'd heard the term, of course, but she'd never assumed she'd be like that. For the first time in her life she had a strong, loving boyfriend. Who was in a band. When he looked at her with his honest brown eyes, she simply melted inside. She should be happy, she was in a nice, normal relationship. People wouldn't look at her funny, or whisper strange things about her behind her back. 

But then there was Buffy, her best friend, her first lover...and there was a word she'd never thought would apply to her. The school geek becoming the lover of the most beautiful, strong, confidant person in the world...impossible...or so she had thought...until that night of the slumber party...when everything had changed...except nobody was the wiser...except for the two of them. And that left everything strange and new, uncertain and confusing, Heckle and Jeckle...no, now she was confusing her adjectives.

She'd been drowning in the confusion, until the day before homecoming...and her bedroom...and the kiss. She hadn't meant to...actually she could swear that Xander had started it...and they'd both called it a fluke...except that it wasn't...and it kept happening...and she wasn't sure what to do about it. She and Xander had been friends forever, and she had always had a crush on him, even after he had broke her Barbie...but now...it was like now she had all these doors open before her...all of these choices, where before she had none. She didn't know how to choose, and so she kept grabbing at all of these opportunities like some greedy little octopus.

She knew that she would have to make some decisions, fairly quickly, or this would all blow up in her face...and everyone that she cared about stood a great chance of getting hurt. She wondered how her life had suddenly got so complicated, then she realized one of the reasons was currently waving her hand in front of her face.

"Earth to Willow...come in Wills." Buffy said, watching the green eyes for any sign of awareness. When they settled into focus, Buffy continued. "The band's really good tonight, huh?" She said, twitching when she heard the note of jealousy in her voice.

"Huh?" Willow asked, intelligently, still momentarily distracted, this time by Xander and Cordy's exit, heading to the dance floor, she predicted, feeling satisfied when she was right. "What?" She asked, meeting Buffy's blue ones again, noticing the flash of concern that was immediately washed away with...nonchalance...humor? She couldn't be sure. "Oh yeah...they're good?"

Buffy hesitated for a moment, then made up her mind. "Okay Wills, you seem...no you are very distracted. Spill!" Buffy commanded, not knowing if it was the right thing to do, but not being able to take the air of confusion around her.

Willow opened her mouth like she was about to say something, but quickly snapped it shut and shook her head. "It's nothing."

'Don't want to talk about it, huh?' Buffy thought, although it wouldn't take a genius to figure out what was bothering her adorable redhead. 'Her?' Was she getting all possesive now? She'd better watch that, considering Willow wasn't really 'hers' to begin with. She was still dating Oz, and as much as Buffy hated that she didn't dare admit it. Perhaps that was why she hadn't told anyone of Angel's return...she knew it was wrong, she knew of the pain he had caused, and yet...she couldn't seem to deny him. Even now.

'Well, I'll bet he hasn't done half the stuff I have." Buffy thought vindictively, her mind back on Oz now. She let an evil smile slip over her lips as she stared at the guitar player on the stage. 'Willow hasn't let you, huh? Saving all her loving for a Slayer.' She couldn't bring herself to feel bad about that. 'So Willow's distracted...' Glancing over at her lover she noticed that her eyes had returned to the stage. 'Hmm...' An idea was brewing in the back of her mind...an idea so daring...not to mention risky...that she didn't know if she would be able to pull it off. But then again...she was the Slayer, she was used to battling the odds. A slow smile weaved across her face as the idea planted itself firmly in her mind. 'Let's see if we can help with that distraction, hmmm?' Mental hands rubbed together gleefully, while one that was real slid gently, almost unobtrusively under the cloth of a skirt, and over a silk covered thigh.

Willow gasped softly as she felt a gentle squeeze on her thigh. Looking down she could see Buffy's wrist, the rest of her hand being covered by the skirt. "Buffy!" She hissed, being careful not to project her voice to the people around them, half hidden in the shadows of the Bronze. "What are you doing?!"

She heard a low, seductive chuckle and gulped against the rising tide. She knew what the chuckle meant, she also knew when Buffy set her mind on something she was hardly ever detered. "I'm helping you with your distraction...by distracting you." Buffy chuckled, wryly.

Willow whimpered as she felt the hand move, tracing a light teasing line into her skin. "Buffy...we can't...we can't do this here...people will see." Willow protested vehemently, although Buffy could tell from the light pants she was emitting, that her lover was already excited about the idea.

"Who's going to see, Will, hmm?" Buffy asked, breathing hotly into Willow's ear, tracing the edge of it with her tongue. "Oz?" Buffy shook her head gently, and Willow could feel the softness of Buffy's hair slide gently across her cheek. "He's way over there, on stage...he wouldn't see." Willow acknowledged that much was true as she felt an unseen hand trail a tickling line down the back of her neck. Buffy knew how much that drove her crazy. 'She's getting a kick out of this.' She thought accusingly, even as Buffy's soft murmuring's continued. "Xander and Cordy...they're too busy with each other to see anybody else...much less care what they were doing..." Willow looked around wildly for her friends, but she could see what the Slayer meant. Xander and Cordy were wrapped around each other, so close they could be Siamese, looking oblivious to the whole world.

"As far as anybody else..." Buffy said, nibbling on the nearby ear, sending sparks of pleasure racing through the redheads blood stream. "They wouldn't care if we were over here humping each others brains out." She said coarsely, feeling the way Willow shivered at the remark.

Willow whimpered at the imagery, and the feel of a warm hand sliding down her back. "They wouldn't care, Will, cause they're all doing it themselves...just standing up." Buffy continued, delighted with Willow's reactions so far. She was winning...she was going to have her lover right here, and she'd be damned if she'd let anyone stop her. "Look at them, Will...all gyrating seductively on the dance floor...pressing against each other...feeling how aroused they make each other...it's sex...standing up." She had moved from Willow's ear and now was proceeding in mapping Willow's skin, every solid inch of it, with her tongue. She liked the side of her neck the best, she decided. Right where a Vampire would bite. She tested the theory gently, grazing the skin with her teeth. The move earned a squirm and a very soft moan.

"You know...I kind of feel sorry for them." Buffy said, watching the writhing couples while she made her own lover writhe at her attentions.

"Why?" Willow squeaked, understandably so since Buffy had just tweaked her nipple. 'God that feels good...I've gotta stop her.' She thought to herself, but she was unable to muster up the resolve to tell her.

"Because...they all want to do what we're doing right now. But they don't have this comfy chair...or this dark corner." Buffy replied, and as she did, she moved the hand that was under Willow's skirt further up her legs until her fingers were just brushing the bottom of Willow's underwear, then she felt Willow freeze and she stopped, gauging her lover's reaction.

"Buffy..." Willow finally found reason to protest as she put her hand on top of her lover's, holding her progress.

"Willow...I want to do this...I really...want to do this." Buffy said, feeling the warm heat burning inside her as she moved her other hand in gentle, soothing circles on her lover's stomach. "But I won't if you tell me not to." Buffy hated giving up that power, sure that she was about to be disappointed and Willow would take off like a shot, but just as she was sure she was going to bolt, she felt her relax perceptibly in her arms.

"I don't want you to stop." Willow admitted, both to herself and to Buffy. What she was doing just felt to good to resist. It was all Buffy could do to keep a big, satisfied smile off of her face. She knew if Willow managed to look over and see it the deal would be off.

"Lean back against me." Buffy suggested, repositioning herself in the chair. Willow shifted position, one leg thrown over Buffy's as her head came to rest near the blonde's, both heads sharing the back of the chair.

'Perfect.' Buffy sighed, in utter contentment, having almost attained her goal. Just a few more inches and she would attain perfection, nirvana, bliss. Willow hissed as her fingers came into contact with her goal. She could feel the warm heat emanating from Willow's soft center, the lips already spread thanks in part to the spread legs of her lover, welcomed her in. She could feel the dampness of Willow's underwear and knew that if they weren't barring her way she would be able to feel the redhead's slickness. She damned the panties and tights in her way, and was tempted to shred them, but she knew Willow wouldn't like that. "Can you do me a favor?" She whispered instead, gaining the redhead's attention.

"Hmm?" Willow muttered, too caught up in what Buffy's fingers were doing to pay really close attention.

"I need you to take off your tights." Buffy whispered, nibbling on the conveniently close ear once more.

"What?!" Willow almost bolted at that, but a quickly moving finger, stroking over her clit just right stopped her in her tracks. "Why?" She managed to say, through clenched teeth, fighting back the incredibly powerful moan that seemed determined to leave her mouth, no doubt to echo throughout the room, drowning out any noise from the band and draw unwanted attention their way. "Can't you just..." She left the words unsaid, sure that Buffy would know what she meant.

"Well...yeah...but it wouldn't be nearly as pleasurable. For you...or me." Buffy admitted, craving the feel of Willow's wetness even as she rubbed against the damp crotch. "I'll even help if you want."

"P-panties too?" Willow asked, with a gulp, she couldn't believe she was doing this in such a public place.

"Just half way...just in case." She left it unspoken that Willow would have to hurry to pull them up if Cordy or Xander managed to find their way back there before they were done. "I'll handle the rest." Buffy said confidently, not wanting Willow to lose the mood.

"O-okay." Willow said, then moved so fast the movement was barely perceptible. She was back in Buffy's arms before the blond could blink, her underwear halfway down her thighs, but still covered by her skirt.

Buffy chuckled at the quick movement. "That was fast...somebody's impatient."

"I didn't want them to see me." Willow explained, feeling her face flush.

"Don't worry...I barely saw you and I was sitting right here." Buffy chuckled, content and eager to resume where she'd left off. "Now...where were we?"

"I think you were..." Willow squeaked again, unable to hide the intense pleasure from showing on her face. It's a good thing it was dark in that corner. "Right there." She finished, her voice still in the squeaky stage. 

'Oh god.' Buffy thought as her fingers slid home. "You feel so good." she said hoarsely, hearing Willow's agreeing moan in her ears. It wasn't like they hadn't done this before...they had...but each time it felt like...coming home.

It wasn't long before Willow was panting, her head pressed deeply back against the cushions of the chair, her fingers clutching at Buffy's arm as the teasing fingers played havoc with her senses. She didn't even care she was in a public place anymore. The whole room could be looking at her and she wouldn't have cared at this point. All that mattered at the moment was Buffy's fingers, whom she hoped would never stop moving, and this glorious rising feeling inside her that made her want to scream with joy.

Buffy couldn't take her eyes off of Willow's face. She looked so beautiful in this moment, her head arched back, her eyes shut tight, pleasure shining from her like a beacon. It was selfish of her to hope she was the only one who'd ever get to see it, and yet she couldn't help the feeling rising in her chest. She was breathtaking. "Willow." She whispered, and was struck speechless by the dazzling green eyes that opened momentarily to meet hers. It was on the tip of her tongue...she was going to say it this time...she really was. "I..." But then she felt it, the slight tremors that indicated Willow's closeness and the green eyes shut again, the graceful neck arcing even more if that were possible and Buffy was lost in the moment. Willow grasped her tightly, burying her face into the Slayer's shoulder as she whimpered, and Buffy felt the tightness of her muscles grasping at her fingers as she came.

For long moments Willow just rested against her, panting heavily, trying to catch her  
breath. Then she picked up her head, gazing at her with amazed green eyes. "That...that  
was...I can't believe we just did that." Willow said, looking around the Bronze nervously,  
but nothing seemed out of place, nothing seemed unusual. Buffy had been right all along, it  
was as if, to the other patrons, like they'd never done that at all. They were safe in their  
private little corner. Their own little piece of heaven. She felt stress free for the first time  
in days. "Thank you." She whispered, sincerely, meeting the Slayer's eyes with her own.

Buffy grinned, and kissed her forehead gently. "Anytime." Yeah, Willow, I'll fly with  
you to Heaven anytime.


	4. The Gazebo

Disclaimers:  
They’re all owned by Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and UPN. WB = We Blew it! I’m not making any money off of this, and I promise to return Buffy and Willow after I’m done with them, none the worse for wear, but with strange satisfied smiles on their faces…

Rating:  
NC-17, and I ain’t kidding! “The song is by the Barenaked Ladies, which will be an apt description of Buffy and Willow before the story’s end, if you know what I mean.

Archives:  
Talk to Shyfox and Mad-Hamlet about that. If they say yes, go for it.

Feedback:  
Talk to me at Jim_D_Means@prodigy.net. Flamers, talk to the hand.

Summary:  
What’s the best thing about having a lover’s spat? Making up afterward.

On Occasion; In the Park  
By Kirayoshi

It’s been One Week since you looked at me,  
Turned your head to the side and said, “I’m angry.”  
Five days since you laughed at me,  
Said, “Get back together, come back and see me.”  
Three days since the living room,  
You realized it’s not my fault but only too soon.  
Yesterday you just looked at me,  
You said, “It’ll still be two days ‘til I say I’m sorry.”  
—Barenaked Ladies  
“One Week”

 

She’s on her regular Wetherly Park patrol it happens. Three of them gang up on her. Their faces are dark, contoured into hideous grins, eyes yellow, claws and fangs bared. Each of them has the strength of ten men, and no soul. They gang up on the small blonde girl. One small unassuming blonde.

They don’t stand a chance.

She launches herself into a flurry of kicks, punches and jabs. The first one who dares to lay hands on her takes a stake to the chest, exploding in a cloud of ash instantly.

And I’m hiding behind a tree nearby, with the best view of the show.

Goddess, she’s so beautiful in action. Or still. Or smiling at me. Or naked, her body responding in convulsions when I sent her over the edge—

Geez, Willow, one-track-mind much?

When did it happen? When did our lives get so complicated? When did I get positively addicted to her laugh, to her touch, to her kisses?

Why did she stop talking to me?

I knew the answer to that last one; it’s been a week since that situation with Spike. One week since Oz and Cordy caught me and Xander kissing. One week since Buffy heard about the kiss, and she hadn’t spoken to me since.

I have to face her. I have to make this right.

I have to get my Buffy back.

How’s this for crazy; I’m more worried about losing Buffy than I was at the prospect of losing my boyfriend. Okay, I guess ex-boyfriend’s more accurate at this point. I didn’t go after him after Xander, and judging from his reaction, I’d pretty much say it was over.

I kinda regret that, but I’d hate myself more if my kiss cost me Buffy.

I go back to watching Buffy finish the remaining two vampires. Buffy-watching. This could be the next great national pastime. Maybe replace baseball. At least for me.

She kicks the second vamp hard in the solar plexus (at least I think it was the solar plexus. I was never quite sure where the solar plexus was, but the way he doubled over in pain, it sure looked like a solar plexus hit), when the third one jumps her from behind.  
She’s too busy concentrating on the vamp, she doesn’t even see his partner. The third vamp grabs her by the shoulders, restraining her so she can’t get any leverage. She thrashes around, keeping him from biting her, but I see her sweating. She’s tiring, and the vamp isn’t letting her go.

I’m afraid. She’s in trouble, and I don’t want to lose her. Not after…

Say it, Wills, not after I fell in love with her.

Hell, not after she and I became lovers.

Yep, that’s right, lovers. As in naked, sleeping together (although sleeping wasn’t our primary activity. Ooh, bad Willow, bad evil Willow!). And now, she’s being beaten by a vampire. I have to stop the vamp, but how? All I can do right now is float a pencil!

Float a pencil.

I pull a pencil out of my purse, place it on the ground in front of me and concentrate. The pencil rises slowly, until it’s at about chest level. Okay, students, let’s try something new and exciting. I channel all my energy and concentration into the pencil, and into the chest of the vampire that was trying to kill my Buffy.

The pencil flies like a bullet, straight into the vamp’s chest.

Buffy collapses to the ground and I rushed to her side. “Buffy! Are you okay?” 

Buffy scrambles to her feet, trying to shake off my hands as I try to steady her. “I’m fine, Wills, just dandy.” She looks around, at the remains of the three vamps. “What happened to that last one?”

“I happened to him.” She looks at me like I’m suddenly turning violet.

“How’d you do that? I mean, thanks, but how?”

“I floated a pencil at him.” She looks at me skeptically. I amend that last statement; “At high speed.” She blinks. Good, I have her attention. “Hey, it’s pointy, it’s made of wood, it fulfills the requirements for being a stake, it worked!”

Buffy shakes her head, and makes it to her feet, facing me. “I guess that one’s a keeper. Thanks Wills.” She brushes the vamp dust from her pants, totally unaware of the effect this has on me. “I’d better be getting home. Mom’ll be worried if I don’t report in, y’know.” She turns away from me, and starts for her home.

But I won’t let her go that easily. “Buffy!”

I’m surprised by the volume of my voice, and judging from the startled look on her face, so’s Buffy. “Buffy,” I lower my voice, but my resolve face is still in full force. “You can’t just walk away from me. We need to talk about this— this thing between us.”

“Thing?” Buffy asked me innocently enough. “I wasn’t aware of any ‘thing’ between us. I thought we were totally thing-free here.”

Was Buffy trying to hurt me with that statement, or did she just not get what I was talking about? I’m going with the latter; less painful that way. “I’m talking about us, Buffy. You haven’t spoken to me for the last week, ever since that run-in with Spike.”

“Yeah,” Buffy gives me this sour look. She’s gonna be a hard sell. “Ever since you and Xander swapped spit!”

“Buffy, it wasn’t like that!”

“Oh? Your lips were on his, how should I translate that?”

“What about you and Angel?”

She opens her mouth, and shuts it again. Oh yeah, I have her. I move in for the kill. “You could have trusted me, you could have told me that he was back. But you decided to keep him your little secret.”

Buffy rolls her eyes and sighs deeply. “I know. And I’m sorry about that. But nothing happened between me and Angel. And nothing’s ever gonna happen. First, it’s too dangerous for us, you know that, curse and all. Second… God, I don’t even know why I’m doing this! You don’t even want to be here, do you? Isn’t Xander waiting for you?”

I flinch briefly then I regain my composure, not wanting her to see how much that last crack hurt. It doesn’t work. Lucky me. When she sees me flinching her eyes become less angry, her expression less severe. “Oh Willow, I’m sorry, that was low. I didn’t mean it that way…”

“Shh,” I offer my hand to her, and slowly, she accepts. “It’s okay. That is the real thing that’s hanging between us, and you deserve to know the truth.” I see her hesitate slightly, but I hold her hand tighter. “Please, Buffy. I want to tell you.”

Buffy looks at me with those warm hazel-blue eyes of hers. Gods she is so beautiful!

“Okay, Wills,” she answers calmly. “I’m listening.”

“Buffy,” I start slowly. I don’t want to risk saying the wrong words. “I guess the main thing was that I was scared. Not of Spike, well not any more than I’m usually scared of him, but of me. I mean suddenly I’m making out with my best friend, my best female friend, and I wasn’t sure how much of a freak that made me.”

“Willow, you’re not…”

“Buffy, please let me finish. I was afraid. I said that, right? Well I was. Afraid of doing something that would make you not like me, afraid of going too far, or not far enough, afraid of what my parents would think, what Xander and the others would think, what Oz would think…I was afraid. And confused, don’t forget that one, that’s a biggie. I mean, was I gay, or just not too picky?

“When Xander and I were alone in the warehouse…and earlier in the library, I guess…” Buffy glares briefly when I mention that moment, but she keeps quiet. Thank Goddess! “…I was trying to deal with those issues. I needed to know how much I had changed. I needed to know…I needed to know if I still liked boys. Y’know? And besides, Spike scared us both, a whole lot. So those two times, and he leaned in to kiss me…well, I let him.”

I watch Buffy’s face intently, searching for any clues that she would blow up at me. She stays level, calm, and perhaps a little sympathetic. “I had to, Buffy. I had to know if my old childhood crush was still there. I had to know how much our time together recently had changed me.”

Buffy lowers her eyes, making her expression difficult to read. “So what’s the verdict, Wills? Did he do anything for you?”

I took her chin in my hand and raise her face to mine. I have to see those lovely eyes when I tell her. “Nothing, Buffy. Nothing at all.” I smile when I see her let go of her breath, when I hear her relieved sigh. “And it’s not just that I got over him, Buffy. It’s because I know now the truth.” I took her face in my hands. “I love you. Buffy Summers, I’m in love with you. There’s no other way to say it. If that makes me gay, then I guess that means I’m gay.”

It’s ten seconds later and I hear no response from Buffy. Maybe it’s time for me to worry…

“Look Buffy, you don’t have to return my love, that’s not a problem. I just don’t want to lose you as a best friend, because that would be bad an-MMPH!”

I would continue on in babble mode, but it’s kinda difficult to talk when Buffy’s luscious lips are affixed to mine. Of course, at this point, who cares?

She slowly moves back and looks at me. Her eyes, which were accusing not five minutes ago, are now wide with wonder. Her mouth, clenched with anger before, is now wide and smiling. “I told you the first reason why it’s over between me and Angel, because of his curse.” She leans in, and I feel her breath on my face. Ooh, I am getting so turned on now! “I didn’t tell you the second reason.”

“And what’s that?”

Her smile becomes a little more wicked. Oh yeah, this is gonna be fun. “Because there’s someone else now.”

“Anyone I know?” I tease her. I know, shameless, but I can’t resist.

“Well,” she teases back, “she’s a bit of a computer nut, she has a ten-thousand watt smile and short red hair, and she’s standing about two inches away from me.”

“Hmm, that narrows the field a bit.”

“That was your cue to shut up and pucker up, Willow,” she growls wolfishly. I stop talking and allow her lips to claim me. She’s claiming me, taking me, making me her own. I let her willingly. I want, more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life, to be hers.

Her lips are soft on mine, her hands tight around my waist. Her mouth slowly opens, her tongue touching the seam between my lips—Knock, knock, Willow, can I come in?

Of course you can! I open my mouth and now our tongues are moving, dancing against each other, slowly, oh so slowly…

“Buffy,” I reluctantly break off the kiss (somehow I doubt that my suffocating in mid-kiss would be all that romantic a gesture, maybe I’m being picky, I dunno…). “If this is gonna lead to where I hope it leads, maybe we should head back to my place.”

Buffy looks around, and I’m getting the same sense of urgency from her that I feel at this time. I want her, and I sense that she wants me. Knowing that is making me hotter than a…well, a really hot thing.

Okay, so I’m a wiccan, not a poet!

“Let’s see,” she muses, her lips straying on mine as she talks. “Your house is…six blocks from here… too far…ooh…away…and mine is three…blocks in the other…mmmhh…direction…and Mom’s home…”

“Mmhh…” I feel her hands slowly roaming my body. Each touch sends a thousand pinpricks through my skin. But here, in the park… “Buffy, we’re a little… uhh… exposed here.”

“Not yet,” she grins evilly. “But what a wonderful idea!” She starts to unbutton my shirt.

“Buffy!” I swat her hands away, but she keeps at it. “Not here!”

“I want you, Willow,” she whispers, her voice husky with desire. “I want you now.”

“I want you too, Buffy, but not here!” Man do I want her! My body is hot, my nerves are hypersensitive, and my…uh…Damn, Willow, say it, my vagina, yeah, that’s it, my vagina’s getting wetter by the second. “But out here’s not good, honey. We could be seen.”

“There’s the old gazebo,” she purrs in my ear. “There’s no light there, no one will see us. And besides, no one comes out here at this time of night.”

“Yeah, no one but the local night life,” I add. “Or should I say, un-life?” She looks at me, puzzled a little, until my meaning becomes clear. Then the light goes on in her eyes.

“You’re right,” Buffy admits, her shoulders slumping. “But I want you so much, Wills.”

“Yeah, me too.” I look around, afraid that Spike or one of his cronies might still be around.

Suddenly, Buffy pulls away from me. “I got an idea, Wills,” She takes my hand and guides me quickly to the park gazebo. An old weathered wooden structure, the gazebo was still used occasionally by small concert bands and jazz groups during the summer. But at night, it’s a dark, shadowy thing, rickety, unlit, foreboding. Give it a few more walls, and it would pass for a haunted house.

She fishes through her purse, and pulls out a small glass bottle. “Holy water,” she explains. She removes the stopper, and lets the holy water dribble out of the bottle in a small stream. She walks around the gazebo, using the holy water to outline it, and I smile when I realize what she’s doing. Any vamp trying to get to the gazebo before the water evaporates, it’ll be like touching a live wire. 

That’s why she’s the Slayer.

When she’s finished vamp-proofing our little love-nest, Buffy leads me up the stairs, and toward the center of the platform. She steps back and looks at me. “God, Willow, you just keep getting more beautiful every time I see you.”

“Thanks,” I smile. It’s still hard for me to get used to hearing her say that. “I guess there’s nowhere to go but up.”

“Don’t ever say that,” she whispers emphatically. “You have never been anything less than truly beautiful. Here,” she kisses my cheek, “here,” she kisses my lips. “And here,” she touches my breasts, which tingle at her contact. Her hands start unbuttoning my top again, and this time I don’t stop her. The cool night air hits my body as my top opens, and my skin vibrates as Buffy touches it. I shimmy the top off, breaking the ethereal spell, and suddenly Buffy and I are removing our clothes as quickly as possible, discarding tops, shoes, jeans, bras and panties onto a haphazard pile.

“Make love to me,” I plead quietly, gazing at the naked beauty before me. 

“With pleasure,” she grins, pure lust on her face. She takes me in her arms, and starts nibbling at my ear. “I am going to eat you up, my little pretty.” Her fingertips brush against my nipples, causing them to harden. “I am going to memorize every square inch of your gorgeous body.” She caresses my right breast, while kissing my throat. My knees buckle, and I have to lower myself to the floor. Buffy doesn’t let up, and soon I am lying down with Buffy over me. Her lips are hot and insistent on mine, and her hands seem to be everywhere on my body at once.

“You like that,” she purrs. “You like it when I kiss you like this,” she demonstrates, her mouth fusing itself to my left nipple.

I like that? That’s the understatement of the year! Goddess she does that so well.

“Oh yeah,” I moan, arching my back as Buffy suckles my breast into her mouth. “Whatever you’re doing, don’t stop!”

Buffy lifts her head and winks at me. “Don’t worry, babe, I don’t plan to.” She returns her attention to my breast, laving it with her tongue, then nipping it with her teeth. I’m lost from that point on. Oh yeah, Buffy, do what you want to me…

Oh, no, don’t leave my boob now, —Oh! You’re starting on my other boob. Okay, I can deal…oooh, yeah…with that. Oh dear, where ya going with that hand? Somewhere below the waist, right, oh yes, right there. You want my legs a little more apart? I…ummmh!…can do that, sure. Now what are you—?

“Sit up, Willow, I wanna try something.” I hear her instructing me, and I obey without thinking twice. Or even once. Thinking isn’t exactly on my list of things to do right now. She positions my body so that my left leg is over her right, and her right leg is over my left. What is she—?

She scoochies up to me, positioning her groin against mine. Suddenly it makes sense. Oh boy does it ever make sense! Her core is up against mine, warm and wet. She starts to rub her body against mine, and every inch of me is on fire. Ooh, bad Buffy, bad…no, good, good Buffy, incredible, fantastic, amazing Buffy! I start rubbing, trying to time my going up to her going down, and now we have our legs in this scissors formation, rubbing our sexes against each other. Oh my Goddess! Willow Rosenberg, your trip to heaven is now picking up speed.

But she’s still not done. Her hand finds its way to our juncture, and suddenly her hand’s inside of me. Oh yeah! Well…Buffy, two…can (UNGH!) play…that game! I start to stroke her vaginal hood, inserting my thumb against that little nubbin. She gasps. Oh yeah, I made Buffy gasp. Go Willow, go Willow…

My heart is hammering, my breathing is ragged, and it won’t be long now. I try to pace myself, listening to Buffy’s moans and gasps. I’m about to climax, but I’m taking her with me. My vision starts to blur…oh yeah, this is it! I quicken my pace, rubbing my hand against her faster, and she jolts, her body arching suddenly, her head thrown back. Oh yeah, this is the big one!

We move as one…we moan as one…

We come as one…

We collapse as one…

I don’t know how long we lie together, our limbs entangled, our heads against each other, and I don’t care. Buffy lifts her hand to my mouth, and I start suckling it, while offering my hand to Buffy for the same purpose. We taste us, the mixture of the both of us on each other’s hands. Man that is so sexy.

Nothing short of the Master’s return would spoil this moment, with the two of us just relaxing, reveling in our closeness, our calmed passion, our love. Love. Oh what a wonderful word. Love. Used in a sentence, I love Buffy with all my heart and soul.

And the sex is pretty incredible too.

“Willow,” she murmurs against my shoulder. “We’re gonna have to get dressed soon.”

“Aww,” I groan. “Can’t we just stay like this forever?”

“Afraid not, Wills,” she insists as she pries herself away from me. I don’t want her to go, so I move back toward her. “Hey, c’mon, find your togs, we gotta get out of here before the holy water evaporates. Let’s go, chop chop.”

“Oh, all right,” I grumble as we locate our clothes. They got a little scattered over the gazebo, but after a mad scramble we manage to get our things on and look at least slightly presentable. I think I’m wearing Buffy’s bra, but then remember she didn’t have one on in the first place.

“So,” Buffy asks me suddenly, “that thing about you loving me, is that still on?”

I grin hugely. “Oh yeah. On and on and on.”

“Good,” she leans in and kisses my nose. “Because I love you too.” 

Well, after a performance like that, I kinda had my suspicions, but just hearing the words warms me to my core. 

“Uh, Willow,” she looks at me again, and I can see the hunger stirring in her eyes. “Are your folks at home tonight?”

“Uh, no,” I smile. “Business trip.”

“Well,” she slinks slowly toward me, her arms are around my waist again. “I can’t let you go home alone to a big empty house, can I?” Without warning, she lets go of me, and winces a bit in slight pain.

“Buffy, are you okay?”

“I’ll say this much,” she straightens out her back. “The next time we do this…which I’m hoping will be fifteen or twenty minutes from now…a mattress had better be involved. Or at least sofa cushions.” She kisses me again, her lips lingering against mine once more.

“Uh,” I start to stammer. She’s not the only one who’s desire hasn’t been fully sated. “You think you can control yourself long enough for us to get there?”

“Hmm—” she slips her tongue into my mouth for a second. “Maybe. If we hurry.”

“Race ya there,” I’m off like a shot, with Buffy hot on my heels.

Oh yeah, I hate fighting with Buffy. But I love making up with her. 

Or is that just making her?

======== 

He wiped the ashen remains of the newbie vamp who was stalking the Slayer and her love off of his duster, and looked at the gazebo as the two girls ran off, presumably to continue their activities.

He smiled ruefully; not too long ago, he was the one who shared passion with the Slayer. Just the one time. The one terrible, wonderful time that cost him his soul and her the lives of good friends. One moment of madness, for which Jenny and Kendra paid the forfeit.

Angel turned away from the gazebo. He was no voyeur; he didn’t seek out to stalk Buffy and Willow, to witness their lovemaking. But her scent was pungent in the air that night, and its siren song still had power over him.

When he saw her with Willow, he ducked away. Very clever, Buffy, marking your territory with holy water. He was able to ignore their passion for the duration, save for a few screams toward the end. He feared that the entire vampire population of Sunnydale might have heard them.

Fortunately, only a few vamps, all newbies, were within earshot. Easy enough for Angel to deal with while Buffy was…otherwise occupied. Humph, nice diplomatic turn of phrase there, Angel.

As the two newfound lovers left for a more sheltered rendezvous point, he smiled. He had always seen something in Buffy’s eyes when she was with Willow. And now she knew what Angel had always suspected, that the shy young witch was a better match for Buffy than he had ever been.

Be happy, Buffy. And know that I’ll always be there to defend you. Both of you.

He left for his mansion, and for the first time in over a century, enjoyed a peaceful rest.


	5. The Living Room

Disclaimer: All this belongs to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy Inc. (Oh..yes..Harder!) Cut that out!

 

Drain Brameged Inc. Proudly Presents  
A Mad-Hamlet Production

 

On Occasion; In a Living Room

 

It was after a brief snowball fight; that had demonstrated the truth behind the phrase 'Mutually Assured Destruction' that lead to the events hereafter known between the two as 'Living Room Lovin' on that particular Christmas day.

"I cannot believe you played such a mean trick on me Willow." Buffy said stepping out of the shower. 

The redhead in question was standing in front of the mirror, her hair wrapped up in a towel, her body likewise, much to the Slayer's disappointment. 

Without turning around Willow responded to Buffy's complaints. "Why not?" She asked. "You've got all those ..Slayer thingies going for you so the only way I could get a guaranteed hit in was by shoving the snowball down the back of your shirt."

"I wasn't talking about that Will." Buffy said getting her own towel. She shook out her hair, being mindful not to accidentally whip the redhead with it.

'She might enjoy it.' Buffy thought. ' Or I might. Ooh. Bad thoughts. Bad thoughts!'

"So what was so unfair then?" She didn't turn around fast enough to get more than a glimpse as the Blonde wrapped her body in a fluffy white towel. 'Well, we'll see how long that lasts.' The redhead mused. 'Sheesh, sex, sex, sex, sex…is that all I think about?……..Yup.'

"I'm referring to when, as I was trying to prevent the snow from sliding down the crack of my ass, you shaking the tree branch dumping a bunch of more snow on me." 

"The…hum..er..do..Buffy," Willow reached out and put her hand on the bare shoulder of the Slayer turning her around. Placing her other hand on Buffy's other shoulder she stepped dangerously close. "Do you have any idea how many innuendos you're leaving yourself open too?"

"Hmmmm." Buffy smiled back, with exaggerated gestures she coyly put a finger to her pursed lips. "I dunno. Maybe I'm doing it on purpose?" She raised her own arms to snare the redhead's waist. Eyes closed their faces moved together to heal the playful rift with that end all, be all, of cures.

Oddly enough, nothing interrupted them. 

For a while.

As soft lips nibbled at each other and fingers strayed closer and closer to risky territory, as blood pressures rose and pulse rates accelerated, as hearts began to pound and breath began to rasp, as tongues did play and desires rose while as mental capabilities plummeted; that's when fate played a dirty card.

"Buffy? Willow? Hot chocolates ready!" Joyce Summers shouted up the stairs. 

Buffy sighed pulling away from Willow. 'Just as well,' The Slayer thought to herself. 'We were really losing it. Though, if it were an option I wouldn't want to lose it, I'd happily throw it out the window.' Her eyes still closed Willow tried to follow Buffy, her lips still seeking out just a few seconds longer of purchase. 

Buffy intercepted the move with two fingers gently pressed against the wiccan's lips; it was supposed to be an attempt to let Willow down gently, but when Willow's lips themselves eased over the offered fingers and began gently nursing on the digits, Buffy's knees nearly buckled. 

"Oh..Christ. Willow!" The gasp escaped unbidden "C'mon lover..we gotta stop."

Releasing the fingers from their sweet, sweet, confinement Willow momentarily pouted. "Say that again." She whimpered.

"Say what?" Buffy asked confused. 

"Your eyebrows scrunch up in the cutest way." Willow exclaimed completely off topic. She shook her head briefly. "Say it again." She whined. "Call me that again. Please?" She assaulted Buffy with her puppy dog look. Green eyes shrouded by half her eyelids, bending over just a teensy bit so she could peer forlornly up at her blonde counterpart.

Buffy got it.

She smiled, a slow, small, sexy smile with just the right amount of light in her eyes. Shimmering, moving, light danced saying 'come to me, I'll make everything worthwhile.' Her lips said a different message but one no less welcome.

"Lover." Buffy whispered. "Lover mine, we have go. Mommy's calling lover mine."

Willow's eyes slowly closed and a slight hum echoed from the back of her throat. She slid her arms around the Slayer's waist as the blonde, in turn, embrace her. "Lover?" She squeaked.

"You betcha." Buffy replied with a small laugh. "Best one yet, and your rating on bestedness has nothing to do with not being currrrsseeed." She drawled.

"Currssseeed?" Willow giggled. "Speakensie good english?"

"Yah. Fer sure." Buffy replied with an exaggerated 'vally girl' accent.

The sexual tension between the two diminished to bearable levels from the humor and it was with only passing reluctance that they finished drying off with the occasional caress and not the fevered contact so desperately wanted moments before.

"Girls? The chocolate is getting cold!" Joyce called again.

"Second Mom!" Buffy hollered back. "Not less you want us cavorting about naked or anything."

Joyce didn't rise to the bait.

"Cavorting?" Willow questioned again with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes. We cavort. I seek nothing but a thorough cavorting as soon as possible." Buffy grinned.

"A cavort eh?" Willow donned a yellow and red 'SunnyDale High' sweatshirt. 'The night cannot get here soon enough.' Willow thought.

"Massive cavorts" Buffy nodded putting on her own T-shirt. 'The night cannot get here soon enough.' Buffy thought.

***

The two young women, wrapped in fuzzy blankets, were sitting on the sofa. The living room table itself was decked with the remains of wrapping paper and half empty mugs of tepid chocolate. 

Willow was stretched across the entire length of the sofa while Buffy was reclining against Willow's belly. Most of her weights was resting on her arms which were spread on the back of the sofa so Willow's wasn't too uncomfortable. 

Joyce herself had just returned from the kitchen after zapping her own mug of chocolate in the microwave. She sat down in the easy chair that was angled just right so unless she turned her head, she couldn't see the sofa. 

All three ladies were paying rapt attention to the television, three sets of eyes paid absolute attention as a young lad, in the role of 'Tiny Tim' lept about the room hollering 'God bless us, every one.' every few seconds.

Correction.Two sets of eyes were paying attention. One, those green in colors were paying more attention to the blonde before her. Mischief glinted in her vision and the beginning of an idea, part love, part lust and a good helping of 'payback' as well. 

'Why not?' The redhead decided. 'Turnabout is fair play but it's Christmas. If you believe in Christmas and..no, I have to fit in.. and..oh that's right! Christmas! Tis better to give than receive. Great! I'm such a giver. I like being generous!'

As Ebeneezer Scrooge raised a toast on the television, and no one was paying attention to her in the slightest, the redhead stealthily moved a hand under her blanket, under the border of the blondes own fuzzy wrapping and slowly ran the tip of one finger along the curved, tone, flesh she found under there. 

The blonde didn't even twitch,exhibiting far too much self control for such a give away. Willow's finger, just the middle one, the very tip of it, continually eased around and around the same area, the same curve of skin. It took a few minutes of attention but finally a reaction was seen. Buffy stretched lazily, arms above her head with a somewhat exageratted yawn. Then she eased herself back and lay down so she was, in a friendly way, now spooned by Willow's reclining form. 

Their bodies were still several inches apart, anyone who walked in would not have been to surprised, two women marely being..comfy. Under the blankets..that was different. 

Willow had not lost contact with the Slayer as she lay down, in fact, now that she was lying on her side. She moved the flat of her palm over the smooth, warm, skin. Wrapping her fingers over the curve of one of Buffy's cheeks.

"Sssss..." Buffy hissed. She didn't turn around but quietly whispered. "Willow, what are you doing?"

Supporting her head with one hand, in turn supported by her elbow Willow smiled over Buffy's shoulder, still pretending to watch the television. Under the covers she was sliding her fingertips along the curves that lead inward, up along thighs and then back out again. She could feel Buffy's flesh beginning to get goosebumpy in an instinctual desire to feel, experience more. 

"Remember the Bronze?" Willow whispered with just enough volume to carry her words to the Slayers ears mere inches away and no more. 

"I'm positive I didn't hear that right." Buffy had to clench her teeth at the feelings bouncing around in her skull. 'She wouldn't!'

"I said," Willow whispered again, "Remember the Bronze?" She dipped her head quickly and gave a mini-nip to Buffy's earlobe. 

"I..barely remember my last name." Buffy hissed.

'I'mintrouble!' She decided at that very second. 'I..like trouble.'

Unseen by anyone, Buffy's hand dangling of the edge of the sofa curled into claws and began digging into the carpeting.

"Payback's a bitch." Willow smiled. Her fingertips were now gracing the area where the beginning of the blondes panties began. Dancing along the edge of material and skin, lower..and lower along the line of clothing. 

Joyce Summers was flipping the channels. 'A Christmas Tale' was over.

"Oh look, they're showing 'How The Grinch Stole Christmas.' Should I leave it here girls?" She asked without turning around.

"Yuppers." Willow exclaimed loudly. "Gotta love that Grinch, and those no nonsense Who's down in Whos-ville."

"Who's..who?" Buffy stuttered. Willow had bent one knee urging the Slayer to do the same, and she had. This gave Willow more....space.

Her fingers had eased under the line of Buffy's panties but she didn't press the issue. Being content to just move the tips of her fingers up..and down..along the same stretch of previously covered flesh over and over again. Still along the same curve and never too close to Buffy's arousal. Buffy wasn't aware of it but she was pressing back against Willow's legs with her own. The redhead could feel the tension in the Slayer's muscles; a sure sign of Buffy arousal.

Nudging the back of the blonde's knees one last time gave her space enough to move her hand freely. She was laying on her side, Buffy was, one hand still sunk into the plush carpeting. Her breathing seemed slow and even, nothing irregular there but underneath the covers her legs were twitching. 

'Okay, here we go.' Willow thought to herself. 'I can't ..no, enough can't believing stuff. I can believe I'm doing this, I just hope we don't get caught. Something is very wrong with me...' She slid her hand under the material that covered Buffy and moved one finger along her lips. Buffy yanked her hand to her mouth and bit down on her finger. Her eyes were squeezed shut and Willow wasn't sure she heard the faint whimpers that Buffy was swallowing down, or merely just her imagination. 'On the other hand, something is possibly very right.' Willow thought moving her fingers, two now, between Buffy's lips, tip top to bottom. 

A slight tremor rumbled across the Slayer's body. 'Jesus!' Her mind screamed. 'She's doing this, Willow is actually doing this right here in front of...ah...aH...ah..bite down bite down! in front..of my mother.'  
Capabilities for thought were washed away as a fresh spasm of pleasure drowned her mind. Willow had pressed three fingers, gently but firmly at the top of Buffy's lips. Around, on and beside her clitoris. She was moving the fingers in a slow, easy, circle. 

'Cre..created a monster!' Buffy's drowning mind choked out before being submerged once more.

The television blared loudly through the room. One woman was watching silently, another was not, but being silent, the third wasn't watching it either and trying very, very hard to remain silent.

Every Who down in Who-ville, the tall and the small,

Was singing! Without any presents at all!

He HADN'T stopped Christmas from coming!

IT CAME!

Somehow or other, it came just the same! 

'Not yet.' Willow thought sliding her wet fingers together, feeling how drenched her entire hand had become. 'But pretty soon now.'

"Mrs. Summers?" Willow spoke up. Buffy gave a giant jerk in surprise but Willow kept sliding her fingers along, she moved her entire hand into the crotch of Buffy's panties and flicked her thumb along Buffy's clit briefly. The Slayer didn't budge. "Can I get some more hot chocolate?"

"Sure Willow." Joyce stood up and moved for the kitchen.

"Now." Willow whispered and began nibbling on Buffy's ear while slowly sliding a single finger inside, her thumb still dancing it's merry rythm. Buffy's back arched and Willow had to wrap her free arm around the Slayers shoulders to keep her on the sofa. Buffy's hands grabbed Willow's arms and squeezed!

"Quickly...quietly." Willow broke off nibbling for a second before going right back at it.

"Nnnnnnnn...." Buffy began to whine.

"It came without ribbons! It came without tags!" The Grinch on the television puzzled.

"N..no..ribbons." Buffy gasped.

"It came without packages, boxes or bags!"

"packages..boxes....bad..." Buffy groaned, whipping her head back and forth under her lover's touch. 

"Maybe Christmas," The Grinch thought, "doesn't come from a store." 

"Coming! Willow...coming!" Buffy squeaked around lips clenched together. It was that or sink her teeth into Willow's arm. Her legs snapped together around Willow's fingers and a massive shudder swept along her body that nearly knocked Willow off. The redhead desperately flung a leg around the Slayers own in an effort to prevent the two of them from being dragged off the sofa.

Buffy's body shuddered violently once..then held still, only the trembling of her lips and the rhythmic pressure around Willow's finger were any indication of life. Another shudder, Willow hung on for dear life, then a third and finally Buffy took a deep breath of air and relaxed. 

"...oh.....God." Buffy whispered. She was coming down; Willow, moving very slowly so as to prolong the pleasure, began murming sweet nothings in her lover's ear. "Shhh...." She whispered. "Relax... Come back...c'mon. I love you you know that, don't you?" 

Another shaky sigh and a lazy nod of her blonde head was the only answer Willow received. 

Slower her fingers moved...slower...in time with the Slayer's breathing, which itself was getting deeper, slower...more gentle...more relaxed. Finally it hit a low point, with even breaths that told Willow everything she wanted to know. Buffy was asleep.

Willow gently pried Buffy's legs apart with her free hand and eased the other one free of Buffy's panties. Smiling to herself she kissed the back of Buffy's neck and pulled her closer as the blonde instinctively snuggled. 

Joyce Summers walked back into the room with a tray on which rested three fresh cups of cocoa. 

"Oh rats." She said staring at the closing credits of 'The Grinch Who Stole Christmas'. "Did I miss the end of the show?"

***

Buffy had fallen asleep and Willow begged off from getting the new chocolate drink by pointing out that doing so might wake Buffy up. Joyce was a bit grudging when it came to conceding the point as meant two whole mugs of cocoa were going to go to waste but gave ground eventually.

Some time passed. Television was watched, a Slayer did snooze and Willow unobtrusively let her hand dry. No one was really paying attention, just enjoying the warmth of a home, surrounded by snow, in the late afternoon of Christmas Day.

'This is nice.' Willow thought staring down at the slumbering blonde. 'Really nice and homey. Young lesbian lovers on Christmas Day. It's a painting Rockwell forgot to paint.' She snuck a look at Joyce who, she was surprised too see, had also fallen into a light sleep.

'I wish night would get here.' Willow mentally grumbled. She ground her legs together in a vain effort to relieve a bit of the 'itch'. 'I'm getting kinda antsy.'

The shrill screech of the telephone jarred those within from their picturesque rest. Well, most of them. Willow jerked a bit and Joyce blinked a few times before getting up to answer it. Buffy herself rolled over a bit and snuggled closer to Willow mumbling "I'll take another serving please. From the breast, I like white meat."

'My hair is going to catch fire any minute now.' Willow thought. She could feel her legs beginning to tremble under the blankets. Raw need was screaming in the deeper parts of her mind, instinct ready to pounce and swallow up rationale whole. 

"Buffy, Willow," Joyce said reentering the living room. She took one look at the scene before her, her daughter fast asleep, cuddled up next to her best friend. Two sets of bare feet poking out the bottom of the blankets. Willow glanced up and caught Joyce staring at them. She did the only thing she could. 

'If this doesn't work we are so busted.' She thought wildly. Attempting to give a smile, that she was sure looked more than slightly crazed, she shrugged helplessly. Joyce apparently accepted it and put her fingers over her lips. She crossed the room silently.

"That was a friend of mine in LA." Joyce stage whispered. "She's invited me up for a Christmas Party. Will you girls be okay for the night?" 

"Heh." Willow giggled..or tried too. "Oh sure, sure I mean, what's not to be fine about? I've got her, she's got me, no that came out wrong what I meant to say is that we have each other no that doesn't work. Yes! We'll be fine Mrs. Summers thank you for asking." She paused. "How are you?"

Joyce nodded slowly. 'I'm missing something here. I just know it.' "I'm fine..Willow. I'll see you two girls tomorrow."

"Yes! Tomorrow!" Willow nodded firmly. "As in, not today." 

"Willow?"

"Yes Mrs. Summers?"

"Less sugar intake."

"Yes, Mrs. Summers."

The older woman smiled at ruffled the redhead's hair for a second. "Take care of my little girl," she smiled.

Willow's eyes nearly popped clean out their sockets. "She's not li..yes ma'am." Willow nodded. "We'll be good." 

'Liar, liar pants of fire.' Her mind sang. 'It's for a good cause!' she argued back.

'Nose is as long as a telephone wire.' It persisted. 'Ooo. I'm bad! I'm a bad, bad girl. I'm a bad, bad, horny..er..no. Oh..yikes!' 

"Willow are you alright?"

"Yep, yessiree, fine, right as rain..uh...comfortable even." Willow paused again. "How are you?" She repeated before she could catch it.

"I meant it about the sugar." Joyce said standing back up.

"Sorry."

"Tell Buffy where I went when she wakes up okay?" Joyce called over her shoulder. She grabbed her coat of the hook and slipped it over her shoulders. "You two look cute together." She said smiling at the girls on the sofa.

'You are about to die.' Willow's mind calmy informed her. Oddly enough, with her apparent destiny so clear she found herself at peace, and capable of actual thought.

"Whole best friend thing right Mrs. Summers?" She said easily.

"Something like that." Joyce picked up her purse. "You two just seem to go well together, like..."

"Chocolate sauce and ice cream?" Willow interrupted. 'Now you really ARE going to die.' Her brain piped up.

"I was..thinking more along the lines of Abbot and Costello." Joyce says slowly.

"But..but neither of us are fat!" Willow protested. She pulled her blanket up and peeked underneath quickly. "I'm not fat! Am I?"

Shaking her head slightly, but still smiling, Joyce said, "Bye Willow."

"Bye Mrs. Summers." Willow replied as the front door closed with a quiet click.

***

The door shut, and Buffy didn't move.

Outside the engine of the Summers truck snarled to life and Buffy didn't move.

The television commercials sang their Christmas jingles as the sound of the truck faded away in the distance and still Buffy didn't move.

Willow lay her head on the Slayer's shoulder and peacefully watched the TV for about five minutes, then Buffy moved.

Exploding off the sofa she had scooped Willow up and flung the startled redhead over her shoulder. Willow's sweatshirt slid up so her panty covered ass was high in the air before the wiccan knew what the hell was going on.

"Buffy!? What? Where?" Willow gasped.

"You are in so much trouble witch girl." Buffy growled standing tall in the living room. Only the long edge of her T-Shirt provided any modesty. If the living room curtains hadn't been closed, anyone walking by would have gotten a good look at what appeared to be FemWrestleFest Five-Thousand. 

"Trouble?" Willow squeaked. "Me? Why? What I do?" All the blood was rushing to her head and the Slayer's shoulder was digging into her pelvis in a way that was not all competly uncomfortable.

"Oh you know why." Buffy grred, slapping the redhead's ass-cheek playfully. "Now it's my turn."

"But..but.." Willow yelped, the Slayer gave a short hop on the balls of her feet, "Ah! But..that was for the Bronze, turnabout, fair play, stuff...revenge dish served cold, y'know? Hot your case though, dish..serving..hotting..thing."

"Right." Buffy agreed breezing across the room with her payload so she stood in front of the armchair her mother had so recently vacated. "So now it's my turn for revenge." With that said she unceremoniously, but carefully, dumped the Willow into the chair. Willow looked up with a very worried expression on the scowling features of her lover.

"I..I was only..." She hiccuped. 

Buffy slowly pushed the back of the chair down so the recliner foot stool popped up lifting Willow's feet. 

"I know." Buffy said quietly. "And you did. Boy did you ever! But now I wanna play."

"Play?" Willow instantly relaxed a bit. She had thought she really had messed up. "So..so I didn't do anything wrong?"

"Depends on your definition of wrong Will." Buffy smirked. "And right. That was very right though."

"So you're gonna play now?" Willow bubbled, stark relief was plained evident on her face until she got another good look at the sly glare Buffy was leveling at her.

"Not...exactly." The Slayer smiled evily. 

"Uh..."

"I want to watch." Buffy whispered.

"Watch? TV?" Willow was confused.

"Noooo.." Buffy drawled out and leaned over the armrest slowly, her T-shit slipped forward giving Willow quite a view. The blondes lips were mere inches from Willow's ear. "No." She whispered. "I want to watch you."

"Watch...me?" Willow's lips began to tremble as her mind stubbornly refused to understand what Buffy was referring too. "Watch me what?"

"Play." Buffy licked the tip of Willow's ear.

Bing!

"Ohnononononononono." It was only Buffy's attentions and her soft hand on Willow's thigh that kept the redhead from lurching out of the chair and clear across the room. 

"No way, uh uh, not gonna do that, gotta be joking, must be joking tell me you're joking?" She begged.

"Sshhhh shhh..." Buffy hushed stroking the hair on Willow's head. "Wigging out, not worth it Will. Am I asking too much?"

"Ohhh...Oooo..You....errr.." Willow fumed. She shook a finger in the Slayer's face. "You betcha!"   
A finger which Buffy immediately wrapped her lips around and eased into her mouth all the way to it's base. A warm 'hummmmm' purred from the back of her throat. Now it was Willow's turn to nearly buckle. If she hadn't already been sitting, she would fallen over.

Nursing on Willow's finger for a short, short minute Buffy slid her lips back up it's length, dragging her teeth softly the entire way. "You like?" She hummed in Willow's ear.

"Urk!" Willow's jaw hung free. 

"You're so beautiful Willow." Buffy whispered, she spread apart Willow's fingers taking the tip of a different one in between each sentence for a short nip with her teeth.

"...sensual.."

Bite.

"..exotic.."

Bite.

"...I wanna see you baby...

Bite.

"...All of you..."

This time Buffy took Willow's pinky and ran her lips along it's sides, smooth...slow..down.....and back. Stopping Buffy put Willow's hand to her own chest, over the Slayer's heart while looking at the redhead with puppy dog eyes. "Please?"

"But..but.." Willow gaped. "I never..uhm..I mean.."

"Never?" Buffy questioned. "Honestly? Truly?"

Willow squirmed in her seat, the need was still chomping at the bits but this was awkward, so awkward she could feel it beginning to weaken. 

"Well..not often." She admitted.

Willow's heart was pounding in her chest, it felt like it was pounding in her throat. She swallowed, swallowed again. Nope, still couldn't breathe. Averting her eyes from Buffy's big blue..shimmery...ones she studied her lap. 

"O..okay." She said. "You can...er..I'll..." She waved her hand in the air nonsensically. "Play."

'OhmyGod!' Willow's mind was drowning in panic. 'I'm gonna do this? I can't do this, I can barely speak in public and now I'm..but..I love her ..she loves me..still..oh..'

Trying to keep herself from trembling outwardly Willow slowly picked her hands up and placed them on her thighs. The sensation didn't feel too good, her palms were clammy and cold. Despite the heat pervading the room from the fire her toes felt like ice. She couldn't make herself look Buffy in the eye as she sat there.

For a few seconds Willow didn't move. She could feel Buffy's presence just out of sight yet, for the first time in a long while this brought no comfort. 

"Buffy...I.." She said quietly. 

"You don't have too." Buffy replied.

Buffy was not a stupid person. She had eyes and she knew Willow very well. 'She can't do this.' Her mind had begun to insist. 'This wasn't a good idea and it could blow up in your face.' 

She had felt the waves of anxiety that were pouring off the redhead like a tide and had already decided to stop this no longer fun game, before Willow had said anything..

At hearing Buffy 'release' her Willow slumped back into her chair. 'I feel so stupid.' She mentally griped. 'It's not like we havn't ..and she hasn't...seen me. That ..there isn't .. I hate my brain. I can't even think it.' A hint of rebellious spirit in her mind flashed a fang. 'We've made love! We..we've 'gone down' on each other. We've had SEX! We've...we've even fucked!!' 

That mental admittance completely bypassed Willow's common sense gland and headed right for her mouth. Sitting bolt upright in her chair Willow blurted out, "Buffy we've fucked right?"

Buffy blinked a few times. "Uh...technically...yes. Though I prefer the more...refined term of lovemaking."

"Oh me too." Willow nodded. "Yay loving-making word. Boo fucking term. I just needed to hear it. I mean..you know..to be sure."

Shaking her head slightly but still adoring Willow's behavior, Buffy climbed into the big easy chair beside the redhead; Willow scooted over to make room for her lover. The Slayer curled up next to the witch, reaching up Buffy began stroking Willow's short, red, hair.

"Well baby," She crooned softly in Willow's ear. "We've made love, we've screwed, done the nasty..."

"It wasn't nasty." Willow protested. "It's far from nasty. So far from nasty light from Nasty won't ever reach it..us..whatever."

Buffy chuckled. "We've even pelvis danced." She was trailing her fingers along Willow's hairline, following the conture from the temple, back, behind the redhead's ears, feather light touches along it's rim, before moving to lightly stroke the back of the witches neck.

"Some could argue," Buffy continued. "That we've also boffed."

"Boffed." Willow giggled. 

"Close your eyes." Buffy murmured. She left a line of lingering kisses from Willow's chin up to her ear. Willow closed her eyes. Easing her hands down the redhead's sides she grabbed the waistline of Willow's panties. "Upsy daisey" Buffy said.

Lifting herself off the chair for a second Willow allowed the Slayer to slide down the last bit of clothing she had on, save her oversized Sunnydale sweatshirt. Willow sank back onto the love seat, 'Love seat.' Her mind sang. 'If only they knew.' 

Hooking one arm under Willow's knee's and the other behind her shoulders Buffy lifted the redhead briefly, scooted to the center of the chair and set the wiccan down on her lap. "There." She said from her position right behind the redhead's shoulder. "Comfy?"

"Mmmmm..." Willow purred, her head falling back to lean against the Slayer's own. "Very."

The cold that had plagued her was gone now, expunged from the blazing fire that was her lover. A fire that, coincidentally, was fueling some others within herself at the same time.

Her legs rested on top of Buffy's, her back to the Slayer's front, a perfect meshing of two people. Front to back, bottom to the other's top. "Give me your hands baby." Buffy urged. "Hold them up for me."

Willow complied and Buffy rested her own hand on top of Willow's own, perfectly even. Pushing slightly she guided Willow's hands to rest atop her own thighs being very careful it was only Willow's fingers actually touching her own flesh.

Guiding Willow's hands with her own she slid the redhead's own fingertips over her own thighs. Down, back, smooth and warm slow and above all, patient. Willow crooned, still resting her head on the Slayer's shoulder she purred, whimpered and giggled as the seeping heat strung along her nerves. 

"Haaaa..." She sighed. "So warm now."

"Warm is good." Buffy replied. "Warm and loving eh?"

"Loving, could go for loving all day." Willow mumbled.

"We have all day. All day, all night. All Christmas."

"All Hanukkah would be better." Willow smiled, eyes still shut. "Eight whole days y'know."

"Sheesh. You're insatiable!" Buffy kissed the back of Willow's neck.

"You'll satiate me...someday." Willow laughed quietly. "Nuff talking, satiating needed."

"Cavorting?" Buffy whispered in a naughty voice.

"Cavort me baby." Willow replied. 

"Bad girl." Buffy laughed.

"Darn tootin'." Willow whispered.

The blonde resumed guiding the redhead's fingers over her own, now burning, skin. She was waiting, the blonde was, moving the fingers of her love over and over, down and back, up and over, again and again. She was waiting, and she was patient. She could wait, she would wait for...

As her guided ministrations ran Willow's fingers nearer and nearer to her own waist the witch's legs twitched. That was what Buffy had been waiting for. Not ceasing the movements of her hands Buffy slowly spread her legs, Willow's own, resting atop the Slayers, moved along in agreement. Buffy guided Willow's own hands to the inside of her own thighs, tracing, touching, sliding closer and nearer to the redhead's lips before moving away again.

Willow's murmurs of pleasure were beginning to take a turn toward the frustrated. 

"Nooo." She whined as Buffy's hands forced her own away yet again. Then her breath caught in her throat as again the touches came moving back up along the inside; when, at the last second, they veered aside, up over her thighs, to her waist and over her belly she protested with a quiet wail. 

"You... big meanie!" She whispered pouting with her eyes still shut. 

Buffy said nothing just moving Willow's hands back down in the direction the redhead most wanted to go. Again she forced Willow to move around and over to the insides of her thighs. Willow groaned slightly but said nothing. Buffy could feel Willow's hands trying to pull away, to pull up where Willow wanted and not follow the course set by the Slayer's demands. She gave way grudgingly, slowly....sloooowwwllyyy..allowing Willow to pull Buffy's hands for a change where the redhead desired. She didn't stop the redhead, but did slow her down.

"Oh." Willow said as their joined hands moved ever, and ever closer. "Oh....oh..." each time in a higher pitched voice.

Her own fingers touched her and the great yelp of pleasure burst from between her lips shattering the stillness of the afternoon, though neither of them cared, or noticed. Willow's back arched just a bit and her lips opened and shut in silent response. Feeling had overridden everything in her mind, feeling and need.

She moved her fingers slowly, around, along, within, and without. From the top to the bottom and back again. She could feel her heartbeat again, now it was racing and hungry. Need was hungry and in time with her heady desire Willow pleasured herself. Because she was not even aware that Buffy had removed her own hands from atop of Willow's. She wasn't aware that Buffy was now embracing her from behind, one arm pulling the redhead's head back so she could whisper encouragement into her lover's ear. The other had pulled the wiccan's sweatshirt up and Buffy was carressing, gently kneading Willow's right breast. 

"Don't hold it in." Buffy whispered. "C'mon baby. Feel it. C'mon."

Willow was pressing back against Buffy, then would arch away only to push back again. 

"Nnnn....Mmmm..." Willow gasped out between open lips. Her pelvis hunching forward to meet her own touch. Buffy began nuzzling the redhead's neck while always, always whispering.

"That's it...go ..go on..." 

"Uh huh." Willow nodded. "Uh huh..uh huh...mmm..." Again she arched away from the Slayer's back but into her caressing hands. Buffy moved her other hand down Willow's body so she now was lovingly stroking both of the redhead's breasts.

A sheen of perspiration had smoothed Willow's bangs to her forehead and she still hadn't opened her eyes since Buffy had told her to close them. Still resting on the blonde's shoulder she was lost in her own world, oblivious to everything except what was happening. Buffy released Willow's right breast and moved her hand down over the pale, smooth skin of the redhead's belly, she slid her own fingers over Willow's once more, if the witch noticed she gave no sign, almost instantly Buffy's hand was coated with the redhead's arousal. She could feel Willow's fingers gently massaging her clitoris, trying so hard for that one final push, the break, that last massive wave that would send her over the edge.

"Here we go. Hang on tight Will." Buffy whispered and slowly moved her index finger up and into Willow, pushing steadily upward, gently, to stimulate and tease all the right places. Moving in rythm with Willow's own now even more frantic exertions she eased herself within and without of Willow's sex. 

"Close..." Willow groaned writhing about frantically. "Close close close close close..."

Buffy smiled to herself, and sped up her touch, her other hand gave a Willow's breast a slight pinch and she turned her face, capturing the redhead's lips with her own for the first time in hours. An event, in liu of all others, that was long over due. 

As there tongues dueled Buffy felt Willow tighten around her and heard the beginnings of a high keen from the back of her throat. Releasing Willow's tit she cupped the base of the wiccan's head and didn't let her break away from the kiss. 

Breaking the kiss herself Buffy whispered a harsh command into her lover's ear. "Come for me. Go with it, c'mon Will. Come for me!" Before wrapping her tounge again, around the wiccan's.

"Mmmm..MMm....MMmmmm.." Willow moaned into the Slayer's mouth, again Buffy pulled away. "Nnnnnn......Ah!" 

Willow went ridged. She opened her eyes, but still didn't see anything.

Willow felt Buffy inside her, felt her squeeze and spasm around the Slayer's welcome finger as she finally came. She felt the Slayer gently pull her own hands away only to get bombarded by fresh sparks adding fuel to the roaring fire inside when Buffy took over. The fingers of her left hand stroking her, the index of the right still buried within.

"Ah...Buffy..." She keened. "G..ah...Hmmm...hmmm...nn.....aaahh.." She whimpered as the final crest pushed up, 

"...nnnaah..."

over 

"...lo..love you..." 

and through. 

Sucking in great breaths of air, her oxygen starved frame trying to restore the status quo. 

"You..." Willow gasped. "You are...evil..Buffy..."

"I'm happy." The Slayer giggled, still touching and inside her love. "I got to watch."

Willow wiggled her hips proving a point.

"Well, mostly watch." Buffy amended. 

"I love you." Willow murmured again resting her head on the Slayer's shoulder. She looks so sleepy, staring at Buffy through half lidded eyes. 'I love her.' Willow's thoughts echoed her spoken sentiments. 'And that is just so freaky yet right. Well.. guess that makes me a freak, yay freakdom!'

"Mutual expressions of feelings Will." Buffy replied giving the redhead a peck on the forehead. She stopped her caresses and, looking Willow right in the eye the entire time, licked her fingers clean.   
Willow chuckled quietly and shook her head slightly. "Buzzed here Buffy, seriously, buzzin' and I don't think I could get shocked by anything right now."

"Spoilsport." Buffy playfully grouched. 

Willow closed her legs and slid in between the slayers still open ones so her butt rested on the chair. Buffy wrapped her legs around Willow's waist while straighting out the sweatshirt she was wearing.   
They didn't say anything. Just...sat in the chair happy with who they were, where they were, what they had and what they shared. 

Yes, these two, these precious two were perfectly content in the grand scheme of things.

"Ooo! Charlie Brown Christmas Special!" 

Had Xander Harris walked through the door that very second he would have thought he was in Heaven. Two, practically naked, young attractive women, hand in hand, lovingly dancing around a living room, moving between furniture, opened presents and wrapping paper. Dancing together, dancing as lovers, dancing as one.

Dancing the Snoopy dance.

Sometimes the Grand Scheme of Things is rather bizarre.

END


	6. In the Shower

 

On occasion:

In the showers

 

Disclaimer: The characters of Buffy the Vampire Slayer belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and I think UPN.

 

Subtext? Nuh uh...Main text. This story involves good, glorious sex between Buffy and Willow...if that is not your bag...don't read.:-)

 

This picks up in the middle of Gingerbread...enjoy. Oh, and for clarification sake, I moved the burning at the stake scene from the court house to the high school gymnasium for my own convenience.:-) Just so there are no misunderstandings there.

 

We live by rules made up by society.

But I guess I must have missed election day.

Cause so much about you looks so good to me, yeah.

For what I'm thinking I could go to jail,

But some laws are born to break.

 

Whoah, playing with fire

Whoah, fighting my desire baby

Whoah, my conscience is a liar

Oh lord, have mercy on the shameless sinner.

Whoah, playing with fire

Whoah, stakes are getting higher, now I

Whoah, I face the crucifier

Whatcha doing to me?

 

Richard Marx Playing with fire.

 

The flames were getting higher. Willow couldn't believe it...she couldn't believe she was going to die tied to a stake in the schools gymnasium, and her own mother was holding the torch. It didn't seem possible...it didn't seem real...but it was. "Buffy, I can't take it! It's too hot!" She cried, pleadingly to her lover who was struggling mightily to get free. Amy had made her escape seconds before, by turning into a mouse. Too bad she hadn't stopped to do them the same favor.

Buffy turned apologetic eyes her way, looking at her lover through the smoke rising up from the books scattered around them. "I'm sorry, Will. If it wasn't for me, none of this would have happened." She'd tried everything she could think of to get out of this, tried pleading with her mother to recognize the insanity of burning her own child at the stake, tried getting out of these ropes, but there were too many of them, and they'd tied them too tight. Still, she struggled, not willing to give up for a second, not while Willow was still in danger.

The smoke was starting to choke her, it filled her lungs, sending great coughing heaves through her body. She knew there was a room full of people watching her, but she also knew that she didn't have a lot of time left. She couldn't help it...if she was going to die, she wanted it to be with Buffy's name on her lips. "Buffy..."

Buffy stared into vibrant green eyes and stopped her struggling for a nanosecond. "I love you, Will." She mouthed. The redhead recieved the sentiment and sent it back, just as clearly. Neither noticed Giles when he came through the door...they were both focused on each other.

 

Somewhere in the distance they noticed the sound of glass breaking, but it didn't really get their attention until the collected mob started crying out to stop the invaders. Buffy was immediately surprised and relieved to see Cordelia holding a fire hose on the overworked crowd. She took a guilty pleasure in seeing people getting washed away by the hose, but she did wish Cordelia would hurry up and get the hose onto them...or more accurately the fire just below them.

Giles was speaking something badly in what Willow thought was German, but she couldn't pay too much attention to that considering the flames had reached her and were starting to burn through her clothes. "Buffy, I'm on fire!"

"Cordelia, put out the fire!" Buffy shouted, with no short amount of urgency.

"Oh, right." Cordelia said, taking aim at the flames now, much to Buffy, and Willow's relief.

Giles continued to speak his muddled german, then he threw two vials at the children. Seconds later the children were replaced by a grotesque, seven foot tall demon. "Okay, I think I liked the two little ones more than the one big one." Cordelia said, in a sarcastic murmur.

It looked like the rest of the crowd agreed with her, people were screaming and running out of the building, Joyce and Sheila were staring at the demon in horror. The trance was broken, and Joyce looked from the repulsive beast to where she had several others had tied Buffy and Willow to stakes, and felt herself go faint. "Oh my god." she whispered, feeling the enormity of the act settle over her.

"Protect us! Kill the bad girls!" The demon growled, but this time the words fell on deaf ears.

 

"You know what?" Buffy asked, her voice filled with anger. "Not as convincing in that outfit." The demon growled and came after her. Buffy struggled anew at the ropes, but they just wouldn't give...luckily for her, the stake did, she heard it snap near the base and the extra weight of it on her back forced her to bend over. She couldn't see it coming, but she felt it as it impaled itself on the accidental weapon. "God, this thing weighs a ton." She thought, struggling to stand erect. "Did I get it? Did I get it?" She asked, nervously, and just a little out of breath. Just then the ceiling above them gave way, and Oz and Xander came crashing down. The two men stared at the odd sight for a moment, before Oz broke the silence with his usual straightforwardness. "We're here to save you."

 

Buffy bit back a chuckle, merely rolled her eyes and sighed. "Great...would you mind getting this thing off my back? It weighs a ton and it's getting goop all over me...not that it's never happened before." Buffy griped, sarcastically.

 

Xander and Oz scrambled to help Buffy free herself of the extra weight. Joyce had rid herself of her guilt complex for the moment and was presently helping to untie Willow. "What a mess." Cordelia shook her head as she examined the place. "I'm not cleaning it."

 

Buffy rolled her eyes. 'Typical.' She watched as Oz and Xander gathered the body of the dead demon. She didn't know where they would take it...only that they would take it to where nobody would trip over it. She looked over to where the redhead was making her way over the piles of books toward her. "You okay?"

 

Willow shrugged and wiped at a smudge on the blonde's cheek. "I'm okay." She managed, her voice was a little raspy from the smoke, but at least she wasn't burnt to a crisp. "I could use a shower..." She paused as she looked at her lover's dishevelled, soot covered, goop splattered body, then grinned mischievously. "...so could you."

 

Buffy laughed, as she looked herself over. "Yeah...ugh..." She wiped a particularly disgusting bit of goop away. "You're right...luckily...there's showers not that far away." She indicated the shower room that was addexed to the gym.

 

"Are you girl's sure you're okay...I can't believe I...we almost..." Buffy put a comforting hand on her mother's arm, noticing the frazzled, bewildered air of somebody just released from a spell. "We're fine, mom. It's okay. It wasn't you. We'll talk about this later, though...right now...all I want is a shower."

 

The two smoky girls headed for the cool, refreshing feel they knew they would find at the other end of the gymnasium. Buffy was just about to enter the shower room when something occured to her. "Oh...Cordy...would you mind hunting for Amy? She's...scampering around here somewhere...thanks." Buffy yelled across the room, before she left the room, closing the door behind her.

 

"Scampering?" Cordelia questioned...apparently no one, they were all walking out in a daze, except for the regular scooby gang, who were starting to clean up the mess.

 

*****

 

Buffy had her shirt off in about two strides, feeling glad to get rid of the soiled garments. 'Now if I only had something to change into.' She thought, removing her pants and underwear with quick movements. She remembered, absently, the clothes that she had in her locker, used primarily for gym class and decided she'd just have to use those, and return them in the morning. She was tired, dirty, hurting, and focused only on getting clean.

 

Willow, however, was focused on the body that was being revealed right next to her, and was thinking thoughts altogether different. Maybe it was the near death experience, or maybe it was just being near to this perfect body, this perfect person, who she had almost lost due to a spell cast by a gruesome demon and the stupidity of a few townspeople. And maybe, just maybe there was a small factoid to that saying that danger made you horny...cause looking at Buffy's increasingly nude body was making her horny right now.

 

She watched as Buffy padded, naked, over to the showers, turning on one without even seeming to notice, then tilted her head back into the spray, releasing a long sigh of relief. She was mesmerized by the trickle of water running over the Slayer's body, and almost jealous of the droplets that clung to her lover's skin, rinsing away the soot and the grime, leaving only the soft, pink skin behind...she wanted to be those droplets, wanted to slide delicately over the form and curves of the supple body, she wanted to be the moisture that cleaned that vibrant body, tasting the surface as she slid wetly, all the way down the powerful frame.

 

Eyes opened wide, she felt no trace of her previous exhaustion, all thoughts of being tired having been swept away by the unwitting display before her. Buffy's eyes were closed, a look of such complete and utter bliss on her face that Willow couldn't help but want to be swept up in it. Her eyes tracked over the wet skin, noting the graceful arch of the Slayer's neck, the sculpted perfection of her shoulders...she always had the strangest urge to bury her face in those strong muscles and nibble...the rise of her chest...oooh, just looking at the way the water played over those slopes made her shiver...the fascinating way the liquid would wash over the washboard tight abdomen in rivulets. Willow felt her heartbeat excellerating and wondered abstractly where all the moisture in her mouth had gone, then her eyes tracked to where the water was dripping from textured blonde hair and she felt the answer. 'Oh, there it is.' She thought abstractly, licking her lips, almost able to taste those droplets on her tongue.

 

Her feet moved without her conscious awareness of it, her eyes locked on Buffy's...everything. She didn't even notice she was only half undressed as she stepped under the shower's spray, her focus centered only on the pulsating need ravaging her from inside out, and her need to quench it. She was shaking with the intensity of it, as her hands came into contact with the Slayer's waist, and her mouth locked onto the spot she had fantasized about nibbling before. She felt and heard the startled gasp as Buffy became aware of her prescence, felt the solid arms coming up to circle her as hands clenched into the back of her shirt.

 

"Will? Wha?" The surprise was evident in Buffy's voice, as the unexpected feel of Willow pressing up against her amourously, sent pleasant shivers up and down her spine.

 

"Mmm...Buffy...I need you." Willow whimpered, barely managing to reply, not wanting to take the necessary time away from her enjoyable task of cleaning off all of the droplets she could reach with her tongue.

 

"Need me?" Buffy felt as if her brain was backfiring, it needed a good jumpstart. Willow's lips nibbling on her ear provided the energy she needed to get it working again. "Right...right now? At...at school?" She gulped, feeling curious and yet knowledgeable hands searching over her back. A rapid heat started to consume her as those hands started to travel south. 'We can't...we're at school...what if somebody comes in?' All perfectly good, reasonable arguments and questions...too bad they never made it past her lips. They were caught racing silently through her brain as bright, passionate green eyes met her own, and she could see the fire of lust burning deep within. She had almost been burnt alive tonight, just a few minutes earlier by an unruly mob, led by her own mother...but now she was being burned in an altogether different way. Albeit, much more pleasant.

 

"Please, Buffy?" Willow pleaded, kissing her softly, those eyes beseaching her. "I need you so bad." She whimpered into her lips, feeling almost desperate. "I'll be quiet...nobody will know."

 

"You?" Buffy chuckled, feeling her hormones reving up. "What about me?" She asked rhetorically, but then the answer really didn't matter as she had set herself loose, her self-control already taking more than she thought it capable of, threw up it's hands in surrender. Their lips met passionately, and between the spray and the two of them meshed together, Buffy didn't know what was making her wetter. "You forgot to take your shirt off." Buffy noted when they paused for a breath, her eyes taking in the glorious sight of Willow's pink nipples appearing through the now transparent shirt.

 

"I did?" Willow's brow wrinkled in that cute distracted way she got sometimes, before she looked down, taking note of the thoroughly drenched garment. She started to turn red as she realized what she had done. "I must look like an idiot." She mumbled, feeling clumsy next to Buffy's natural grace.

 

Buffy smiled at her in reassurance, while shaking her head. "No...it looks real good on you." She said honestly, her eyes going back to take in the outlined nipples. She couldn't resist their appeal, and her fingers didn't take long in finding them, playing with them through the material. She delighted in Willow's gasps, as her fingers tightened on the nipples, her thumbs rolling lightly over the sensitive tips, her eyes never straying from her treasures. "Real good." She said as she leaned forward and took a mouthful of nipple into her mouth, nipping on the soft flesh through the material. But soon Buffy was craving the feel of Willow's flesh in her mouth and she pulled back. "But, if you don't mind...I'm going to take it off now." Buffy murmured, lifting the wet t-shirt up and over Willow's head.

 

"I don't mind..." Willow trailed off weakly as Buffy resumed her position, sucking gently on a rosy tip. She pulled Willow towards her as she leaned against the wall. "...at all." Willow breathed, grasping on to strong shoulders as she counted on Buffy to keep her standing.

 

Buffy pulled back after a minute and looked up at Willow, her mouth working as if she'd tasted something bad. "Something wrong?" Willow asked, feeling suddenly nervous.

 

"Sooty." Buffy replied with a grin, Willow cast a dubious look down at her chest, wondering how the smoke could have possibly gotten there. It didn't matter, Buffy was soon brandishing a bar of soap and doing wonderful things with it as she moved it in gliding circles over her chest, the gentle motions causing her nipples to stand erect. It felt so good, Willow thought she'd return the favor. Brandishing a bar of soap of her own, she started with Buffy's back, caressing her with slow, slippery circles and working her way down, until they were writhing together like slippery eels...getting soap lather everywhere.

 

"How's this for good...clean...fun?" Willow asked, cheekily, between kisses, her hands had found Buffy's butt and were busy making the skin nice and clean, so what if it was a little cleaner than absolutely necessary, she just loved sliding her fingers through the lather, finding curious dips and creases to investigate the longer she searched.

 

"mm, nothing better...than a nice...hot...shower..." Buffy replied, breathless, and edging on losing her ability to communicate completely, and her ability to remain standing was taking its toll as well. A slip of Willow's finger over a sensitive area caused Buffy to lose her grasp on the soap, Willow felt it slide down her abdomen, and over her thigh, coming to rest next to her right foot. "Oops...lost the soap." Buffy said, a mischievous grin lightening her eyes, and Willow gulped at the clear message of lust communicated to her.

 

"Guess I'm going to have to bend over to get it, huh?" Buffy's voice was teasing, but the rich huskiness of it sent waves of pure desire racing through her blood stream. "...or maybe...I'll just...work...my way down..." The murmured words were lost to the sound of the shower running, but the impact of Buffy's lips, teasing and nipping over sensitive skin as she took her time, tasting favorite spots on the way to retrieve her missing soap made Willow lightheaded in delight.

 

Buffy relished the taste of the clean skin, sucking moisture from pert, erect peaks, before blazing a trail over sensitive ribs and a ticklish tummy, until she was kneeling between trembling legs, one hand reaching for the soap, while the other tickled it's way up one thigh, seeking moisture that wasn't caused by the steaming water dripping on them. Buffy took great pleasure in gently washing the area, feeling Willow jump and hearing barely restrained cries of pleasure when her fingers would stroke an especially reactive spot. She played in her lover's arousal, easily differentiating it from the shower water, she loved the difference in texture, how it coated her fingers, in how it tasted when she brought her fingers to her mouth to lick them clean. She loved the taste of her, and wanted more.

 

Ignoring the awkwardness of the position, she wrapped her arms around Willow's waist and tilted her head up, tasting her lover directly with her tongue. Her mouth was immediately flooded with the sweet musk, and she felt Willow's knees almost buckle as the redhead tested the acoustics of the room, the room echoing with muffled whimpers. Buffy could tell Willow was biting her lip in an attempt to keep quiet, and rewarded her lover's self control with a lick across her clit.

 

"Mmm...Buffy..." Willow groaned, her hand tightening into a fist in the blonde's hair, as a quick and agile tongue flicked her most sensitive area ruthlessly. Electric sparks were shooting off haphazardly inside her body, like fireworks at a Fourth of July display, and she felt an unrelenting pressure building in her stomach, a pressure that had her begging and reaching for more. "Buffy...please..." Willow whimpered, unable to articulate her need, good thing Buffy knew what she needed, Willow concluded as she felt two sturdy fingers joining the foray.

 

*****

 

Joyce looked at her watch again for about the millionth time. She knew it had only been about fifteen minutes since the two girls had gone in to take a shower, but it felt like a lifetime and she was starting to worry. She had heard bad things about smoke inhalation, and due to her incredibly stupid, not to mention disgusting behavior, the two girls probably had breathed enough smoke for a lifetime. On the other hand, she didn't think she'd have to worry about Buffy smoking cigerettes anytime soon. Glancing one more time at the closed locker room door, Joyce shook her head worriedly, wishing she could just go in and make sure they were okay. But that might look...strange...and she wasn't sure Buffy would appreciate her checking up on her.

 

Spotting Cordelia out of the corner of her eye, she had an idea. Thinking about it for a moment, she nodded her head and made her decision. "Cordelia..." She called out the brunettes name, getting her attention. She was eyed warily by the girl, and Joyce had to wonder what had happened to alter the friendships that had seemed to be blossoming between this girl and Buffy's friend.

 

"If Buffy wants to find Amy...she can just find her herself. She didn't tell me the girl had turned herself into a rat." Cordelia griped, looking around the gym in disgust.

 

"Cordelia..." Joyce started again, reining in her patience. "Buffy and Willow have been in the shower for a while and...what with the smoke inhalation...I'm afraid something might have happened. Would you mind checking on them for me?"

 

"Smoke inhalation?" Cordelia asked, dubiously. "Buffy's the Slayer...I'm sure a little smoke isn't going to hurt her..." She started to protest, then noticed the tension in Joyce's face. "...but...if it would make you feel better..." she said, throwing up her hands in a shrug. "I'll go look."

 

With a great amount of resignation, Cordy trudged over to the locker room door and pushed it open. She could hear the sounds of a shower running, along with unidentifiable sounds she couldn't quite make out. Her experience with troubles in Sunnydale had made her cautious, so entering the room slowly, she barely whispered Buffy's name, then thumped herself upside the head. "Right, like she's going to hear that over the water running." She chastized herself, gathering her courage to move through the room toward the showers.

 

She wasn't sure what she was expecting to find...a green finned monster eating the Slayer...Buffy and Willow passed out from the smoke...any number of things filled her head...but what she ended up seeing wasn't any where near any one of them. She spotted the Slayer and Willow all right...in a position she hadn't imagined in her wildest dreams. Willow had her head tilted back in the water's spray, a look of sheer enjoyment on her face, her chest was heaving with big breaths, and quiet whimpers were leaving her mouth. She looked like she was 'really' enjoying her shower, and Cordelia suspected she was, what with Buffy's head taking what looked to be a permanent residence between her legs.

 

Cordelia was too shocked to squeek, but Willow didn't seem to have any trouble with it, considering her squeeks were getting louder and more...what's the word she was searching her addled mind for...needy...desperate...desperate, yeah that's it. Willow definitely was sounding desperate now. 'Oh my god...oh my god...Buffy and Willow...Willow and Buffy...oh my god.' The words tumbled over and over again in Cordelia's head, and she knew she should get out of there and leave them some privacy but her feet seemed to be stuck to the tiling.

 

And then it was too late...Willow was scrunching up her face, emitting a long, low whine, and it looked like Buffy was the only thing holding her up as her knees started to buckle. Cordelia couldn't believe what she had just witnessed. 'Oh my god...I've got to get out of here.' The prospect of being caught by Buffy was not a pleasant one. She was pretty sure it would involve violence, something, her mind reminded her, the Slayer was exceedingly good at. Backing up on rubbery legs, she managed to find the way out, without tripping on anything, and stumbling back out into the Gym.

 

Joyce saw her come stumbling out of there, looking white as a ghost, and felt her heart speed up in worry. "Cordelia? Are Buffy and Willow all right?" Cordelia looked up at her in a daze, then started nodding her head, rapidly.

 

"They're...they're uh...they're taking a shower." Cordy blurted, looking almost panicked as she pointed her thumb back at the bathroom door. She looked around like she was looking for a way out then spotted Xander, and couldn't help issuing a stinging retort. "Though why she was kissing you, I'll never be able to figure out." Xander had to scratch his head in confusion as she stumbled past him, intent only on finding some fresh air.

 

*****

"Did you...hear...something?" Buffy asked, between kisses. Somehow they had ended up lying on the floor, Willow resting on top of her, though neither were sure how they had gotten there, it seemed to be the perfect position for continuing what they were doing.

 

"No...can't say...I did..." Willow murmured, licking her way across Buffy's chest, stopping to nip at places designed to cause Buffy to shiver. "But then...you do have better...hearing...than me...and I was...distracted." Willow said, kissing her way across and then down a velvet, tight abdomen. "What was it?" Willow asked, licking a line across Buffy's stomach, just above her pubic bone.

 

Buffy was finding it hard to breathe as Willow tantalized her senses. "I...I can't remember." In fact, she couldn't even remember her own name. Willow's nose tickled against her pubic hair, sending an odd sensation to her stomach. Willow giggled, and the vibration sent shudders through her body. "Will...stop teasing." Buffy pleaded, not sure how much more of the gently inquisitive exploration she could take.

 

"Was I teasing?" She inquired, a quirky grin lighting her face. Buffy eyed her incredulously, a groan escaping her lips as Willow fought the urge to giggle. "I'm sorry." She said, contritely, licking Buffy's belly button, earning another heartfelt groan. "I'll stop teasing." She promised, and kept her word as she eased into warm wetness.

 

"Oh...yes..." Buffy groaned, getting a tighter hold on Willow's head. She closed her eyes and just pictured Willow above her, leaning over her, head busily bobbing as she lapped enthusiastically at her juices. Willow always put her all into making love to her...much to her bodies enjoyment.

 

Being with Buffy was like having your very own all night, ice cream buffet, Willow thought as she licked up the copious wetness, or...like that folgers commercial... she was good to the last drop. And she intended to taste every last one of them. She chuckled mentally, her body jiggling as she tried not to snort into Buffy's folds. Her lover was getting tauter by the minute, although she remained deathly quiet, and Willow could never figure out just how she did that, she could never contain herself that much. But she knew Buffy was perilously close to the edge, all she had to do was push her off.

 

She felt Buffy's warm muscles welcome her in as she slid two fingers deep inside her, and heard Buffy grunt, enjoying the invasion. Her mouth tenderly enveloped Buffy's clit, greeting the little nubbin of pleasure and sucking on it gently.

 

Buffy breathed in sharply, closing her eyes against the white hot pleasure that invaded her senses. "Just a little...more." she gasped, feeling her lover increase the suction on her clit as her fingers increased their tempo. She felt it coming...coming relentlessly, like a freight train about to bowl her over. Her heart felt like it was about ready to jump right out of her chest, and a mantra of 'oh god's' had started running pel mel through her brain. Then the pleasure washed over her and the thinking stopped, as well as her breathing, and she couldn't tell for sure, but she could swear her heart beat had stopped too, as the intense searing rush made her want to cry out to the heavens. She couldn't hear nor feel anything but the pleasure for a few timely moments, and then her breathing came back with a slight gasp, and she felt her heart beat again, sending blood rushing to all of the parts that so desperately needed it.

 

Her head was spinning, she presumed from lack of oxygen, and she felt limp all over, but when Willow crawled up to lay her head on her shoulder she realized that she'd never felt so good, just being alive.

 

*****

 

Joyce was about to go in to the showers herself about ten minutes later, when both girls came out, dressed in their gym clothes, and looking rosy and healthy, except for Willow, who apparently had a split lip. Joyce was on her in a second, searching for any more injuries. "I'm so sorry...did that happen tonight..." Willow sent a panicked look Buffy's way, looking for a helping hand, or at least a reasonable explanation.

 

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about it, Mrs. Summers." Cordelia said, glibly from her spot on the unburned books. "It doesn't look like their feeling all that badly to me...in fact...I think they enjoyed it." Cordelia said, before she got up and walked out, leaving them all speechless. Willow's eyes turned big as saucers, while Buffy started coughing spasmodically, earning a worried frown from her mother.

 

"Are you sure you don't want to be checked out, Buffy?" Joyce asked, frowning as Buffy continued coughing while waving her away.

 

"Take it from me, Mrs. Summers. Buffy's the picture of health...if you looked up health in the Dictionary, there Buffy would be. I know...cause I've already checked her out...in a purely medical way of course...like there'd be...any other way to check her out...right? And you know me...I know stuff...and all her stuff checks out. Yep...she works good...really good, even."

 

Buffy eyed her lover, not knowing if she was making things better or worse. "Uh...you know...I think it's Willow that you need to worry about mom. See how red she is? She came...you know,*real* close to losing it earlier..." Willow shot Buffy an evil look for that. "...and before it gets any worse, I think I oughta take her home." Buffy continued in a hurry. Yeah, home, where they could pick up where they left off...a smile tried to break out on the Slayer's face, but she forced it back, blinking at her mom innocently. Joyce just shook her head, and sighed, leading the way out of the school.

 

 

 

 

 

 


	7. In the Kitchen

Spoilers for Helpless.

Feedback;  
Go for it! Jim_D_Means@prodigy.net

Archives;  
It’s a joint effort, so make sure you’ve got the whole thing. I doubt that Shyfox and Mad-Hamlet will mind if you ask nicely.

Summary;  
While Buffy recovers from her Rite of Passage ordeal, Willow decides to have some fun.

 

========  
On Occasion; In the Kitchen  
By Kirayoshi  
========

“Fragile  
Like a baby in your arms  
Be gentle with me,  
I'd never willingly  
Do you harm.

Apologies  
Are all you seem to get from me  
But just like a child  
You make me smile  
When you care for me  
And you know...

It's a question of lust  
It's a question of trust  
It's a question of not letting  
What we've built up  
Crumble to dust  
It is all of these things and more  
That keep us together.”  
—Depeche Mode  
“A Question of Lust” 

 

Man I hate birthdays!

For the second year in a row, my birthday turned out to be a nightmare. Last year at this time, my first (and last, I swear!) sexual encounter with Angel robbed him of his soul, and created my greatest enemy, the monster Angelus.

And yesterday, on my big One-Eight, the Watcher’s Council forced me to face a psychotic vamp named Krelik, minus my Slayer powers. They made Giles pump me full of some muscle relaxant, while Krelik kidnapped my mother. Giles ended up rebelling against the Council, who  
fired him. They’re now sending a new Watcher in his place, and expect me to follow his lead.

Yeah, they expect me to follow him. Yeah right! They don’t know this but I have no intention of following the Council ever again. They betrayed me, they used Giles against me. As far as I’m concerned, they’re as much the enemy as any vampire.

Anyway, all I wanted to do, after the Scoobs and Mom threw me a quickie birthday party, was crawl into my bed and fall asleep.

Turned out to be easier than I thought. And more fun. Somehow I was expecting to have a nightmare with Krelik in a starring role. I half-expected to see him terrorizing Mom and me again.

Instead, I found myself having one of the most erotic dreams I ever had. I was sunbathing on a deserted stretch of beach, completely nude, when I felt something burrow against my groin. When I opened my eyes, there she was, my goddess, my lover, my Willow. She had her head  
between my legs, her tongue performing its magic on my most sensitive spots…Oh yeah, this is my kind of dream. I didn’t move… I couldn’t move…Hell, who wants to move under these circumstances?

The dream faded, and I found myself awakening. Man, what a let down!

Or was it? Those strange sensations were still there, that familiar and welcome wetness between my legs, that tingling in my clitoris. I leaned my head forward and saw Willow’s hair over my groin, her tongue firmly planted in place. Oh yeah, she was going at it like there was no tomorrow! It didn’t takillow just smirked at me. “Think of this as an exercise in trust. Do you trust me, Buffy?”

“Uh, maybe you should ask me that when my hands are free.” Willow just stuck her tongue out at me. “Okay, Willow, I trust you.”

Willow smiled, running a finger along the inside of my thigh. Tiny electric sparks flew off where her finger met my skin. “Good. Because today I want you to be completely open to me; to put yourself entirely in my hands. That’s why the silk scarves. You won’t be able to touch me, or to escape my touch.”

“And I’m assuming that…touching…is going to play a big part of all this?”

“Oh, yeah!” She finally pulled out the objects she had behind her back. She showed me the double-blade razor I use on my legs, and a can of shaving cream. “I’m going to do something I’ve wanted to do for some time now. And for this to work, I need you to lie absolutely still. Do you trust me?”

I started to understand what she had in mind, and I felt a strange mix of trepidation and desire. I was a little scared of what she had in mind, but at the same time incredibly thrilled. “I trust you, Willow.”

She didn’t say anything; she just grinned again. When did she acquire this boldness, this sudden confidence? Was I somehow responsible? Whatever it was, I found it very attractive in her. And very arousing.

She pulled out a terry cloth hand towel, and placed it on the table, just under my seat. “Don’t want your mom to find any telltale signs when she’s making dinner, do we?” She then popped the lid off the shaving cream can, and dispensed a large dollop of aloe-scented cream on her hand. She dabbed the cream directly on my pubic region. The cream felt chilly against my skin, and I shivered, not so much from the cool cream on my vagina, but from the anticipation of what Willow was going to do next.

“Now, then,” she purred gently. “I need you to stay still. Like a rock, Buffy, got it?”

“Got it,” I whispered. Hurry, Willow, I’m getting so turned on now…

Willow put the can down and picked up the razor. “Trust me, Buffy,” she cooed. “This is gonna look beautiful.” She held the razor in her hand, and lowered it over the lathered flesh. I felt a faint scraping over my skin, as she navigated the razor over my groin. She used short, gentle strokes, taking her time in order to avoid any nicks. She was especially careful around my pussy lips, taking her time. This had the added effect of heightening my arousal, but I didn’t dare move. Don’t want any nicks in that area.

“Okay, all done,” Willow suddenly announced. She started dabbing the excess shaving cream away with the towel, and then produced a mirror. She tilted the mirror so I could take a look at my newly shaven pubic region. The skin around my vagina was now as smooth as silk. I wanted to touch it right then and there, but Willow did a thorough job of keeping me tied.

“There we are,” Willow purred dreamily, admiring her handiwork. “Good enough to eat. Which fits my ultimate plans…”

“Now that I can get behind,” I announced. Willow smiled at me, then ducked away again. “Uh, Willow, when does the eating me out start?”

“Patience, Buffy, patience.” I could hear cabinet doors open and close. She was puttering about the kitchen, and I could catch brief fleeting glimpses of her as I lay on the table. An occasional flash of her breast under green silk, a blur of red hair. What was she doing?

She suddenly leaned toward me from my right, her left hand gently brushing against my side. “Maybe for this next part, I’d better slip into something more comfortable. Like nothing.” She slowly peeled the teddy off of her body, unveiling the gentle curves of her breasts. “There we are,” she announced as she stood, naked and sexy as Hell, before me. 

“Now, let’s have some fun.” She showed me what she had collected from the kitchen. First she opened a bottle of chocolate syrup, opened the cap and squeezed. A stream of chocolate trailed down my neck, over my breasts where she looped syrup over my nipples, down my torso, into my bellybutton, and down my crotch. She then did the same with a bottle of caramel topping, and strawberry syrup. I glanced down and saw sweet sticky trails all over my body. Then she pulled out a can of whipped cream, and sprayed dollops of cream over my nipples and vagina. The sudden coolness made me shiver again. She was decorating me like a cake. And now she was ready to feast.

“Hey, don’t I get a cherry on top?” I grinned.

She smirked back at me. “I thought you lost your cherry last year.”

“How about yours?”

“Does tampon application count?” I shook my head. Anything, just do this! Do me!

“Mm-hm,” Willow purred as she leaned forward, and climbed on top of me on the table. “My favorite flavors…chocolate…” she licked my left breast, “strawberry…” she murmured against my collarbone, “caramel…” she nuzzled against my neck, licking up sweet syrup all the way, “and Buffy.” She claimed my lips with her own, plundering my mouth with her tongue. I tasted the syrup on her tongue, and felt her body sliding against mine, getting all that sticky sweetness over both of us.

She lifted her body up, straddling me, displaying her candy-coated body in all its splendor. I was straining at the ties that held me on the table,desperate to kiss, fondle, taste this incredible woman on top of me. “Hmm,” she cooed over me. “I seem to have gotten all sticky. Maybe we need more chocolate?” She picked up the chocolate bottle and poured it slowly over her breasts, coating the nipples. She let it drizzle down over her belly and into her thighs. “You like this, huh?”

“Yes,” I was barely capable of sophisticated speech at this time. “Yes, I like.”

“You want to taste this on me, don’t you?” She was enjoying teasing me, the little minx. It’s the shy ones you gotta watch out for!

“Yesss…” I breathed. I wanted her so desperately at that moment.

“Then I’d better let you have me, hadn’t I?” She squirmed a little, getting off of me, and slowly crawled on the table, until her knees were on either side of my head. I could see her clitoris directly over me, chocolate dripping off of her thighs and onto my face. I licked my lips, tasting chocolate, wanting to taste so much more.

“I think that the technical term for this,” she murmured as she leaned over my body, her lovely ass lowering itself over my face, “is sixty-nine.”

“My new lucky number…” I started to say, until her vagina muffled me. From then on, all verbal communication was reduced to inarticulate moans and grunts.

I feasted on her pussy-lips, licking the chocolate off of them, savoring the sweet cocoa flavor mixed with Willow’s own unique taste. I couldn’t decide which was sweeter, but the two tastes complimented each other so well. Chocolate-covered Willow. There might be a market for that. Especially with what’s at the delicious center.

Willow was not wasting any time on my creamy nougat center either. She was lapping at my clit like a cat at a bowl of cream. And with that area newly shorn, there was no hair getting in between her face and my sex. She dove in entirely, zeroing in on that little nubbin of sensation,  
attacking it with her tongue. She gently guided her hands under my ass, and parted my cheeks with her fingers. Her nose was rubbing just inside my vagina as her tongue lapped around my clit. I squirmed, bucked and jolted with each touch, but she hung on, honing in on my desire. Her own pussy rested on my lips, and I latched onto it, not letting it out of my reach. With my hands unable to reach her, to hold her down, I had to move my head around to keep up with her gyrations, but I managed to keep my lips affixed to her wet sticky pussy.

She started to part my lower lips with her fingers, gently circling my clitoral hood with her thumbs while she lapped at me. That was all I needed to push me over the edge, but I was taking her with me. I nipped and licked at her nub with renewed passion, and was rewarded by her cries of joy, muffled by my newly shaven crotch. She sped up her efforts, and within ten seconds, we were both thrashing in the throws of powerful orgasms.

Once the wave of sensations died down, my limbs were like putty. Even if I weren’t tied to the table, I wouldn’t be able to move. Willow somehow managed to rotate her body on top of me, so she was now facing me. She began to kiss me, and I kissed her back. We licked each other’s faces clean, enjoying the heady mix of dessert toppings and our own juices mixed together. Voice of experience time here, there are very few things more sensual and sexy than tasting yourself on the face of your lover.

We lay together in incredible afterglow, before my feet started to tingle. “Uh, Willow,” I complained slightly, “I hate to say this, but I think my foot’s asleep.”

Willow just looked at me briefly before she started to chuckle. “You want me to kiss it and make it better?”

“Kiss my foot,” I mused, “what kind of fetishist are you?” I could barely see her blush under the chocolate that still stained her face.

“Ooh, poor baby,” she muttered. “Here,” she slid down my body, sticking a little where the dessert toppings were drying, and started to untie the scarves that held my feet down. She then walked around the table and untied my wrists. I started to stretch, which Willow was observing with heightened interest. I was preparing to pay her back for her little experiment. Now that I had my hands back, I planned to use them, very soon.

“Hey, Buffy,” she grinned at me, “Maybe we should clean up a little. We’re still pretty sticky.”

“Well,” I purred, “the upstairs shower is big enough for two.” We raced each other upstairs, and proceeded to get very wet(in more ways than one).

We just managed to get showered up (we finally left the shower after the hot water was exhausted!), and clean the table and kitchen floor before Mom got home. When she poured us some root beer and asked Willow if she wanted to stay for dinner, Willow just flashed me a secret smile, and said, “No thanks, Mrs. Summers, just ate.” I nearly choked on my root beer, but Mom didn’t seem to notice.

Yep, it’s the shy ones you gotta watch out for.

On the other hand, I was learning to like birthdays.


	8. In the Mansion

Disclaimer: All this belongs to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy(Grr..arrgh)

Drain Brameged Inc. Proudly Presents

A Mad-Hamlet Production

On Occasions; In the Mansion

"Okay. So tell me exactly what I'm doing here?" I cross my arms and glare at the person who practically dragged me all across Sunnydale. He's tall, easy on the eyes, and very very talented at looking haunted and repentant. That's because he spends every waking hour being haunted and repentant but he also does it very well. He's also dark, mysterious and capable of being gentle and incredibly cruel.

Angel lives up to his name well.

"We need to talk." He says in that breathless tone of his. It's flat and calm, his tone, but if you know what to listen for it ..almost is tangible. Like warm velvet, thick, strong and soft. But opaque.

I shrug. "About what?"

He looks away from me and stalks past the large fireplace where, like always, a fire is burning. The orange glow highlights his features in a way that used to make my heart skip. Underlighting those fierce dark eyes, those lips, always slightly frowning. Yes, these moments used to make my blood run hot but now... well. Now they don't.

Maybe I've matured a bit. Maybe I'm no longer interested in love and danger but just solid love. No risk. I think about the one I love now. Her red hair and green eyes. Okay..there's a bit of risk there; I'm a risk junkie. Then again, you have to be in this line of work.

"It's different this time." He says slowly. "You can taste it in the air."

I shrug again. "I know."

He puts his hand on my shoulder. "This is about as bad as it's ever gotten Buffy. The sisterhood is strong, ruthless and numerous. They are going to open the Hellmouth. It's not an 'If' situation; it's a 'When'. And we know when don't we?"

His eyes bore into mine.

I can't meet that gaze and look around the room instead, trying to be nonchalant. I hope he's not asking..what I'm afraid he's asking.

"Tonight." I say quietly.

He nods. "Yeah, tonight."

"It could end." He continues putting his hands in his ever present black jacket. "Not just you, or me. Or our friends and family. Everything. All of it..gone."

"If we fail." I finish.

"If we fail." He echoes.

"And ..you called me here, all the way from the library to tell me this?" I question. I'm getting kinda nervous here. I really, really, hope he's not asking what I'm afraid he's asking. We..we're not like that anymore. I thought he knew this.

"No." He shakes his head. Again he turns away from me and walks next to the fireplace. He leans against it with one hand, looking into the crackling flames as if there were answers inside. Maybe there are. Maybe if we do fail all we'll have is fire. And blood..and death.

"No." He repeats. "I wanted you to come here to tell you something."

"That would be what." I widen my stance slightly, cock my head to the side so I look more..challenging. Dangerous. He's seen it before but he doesn't see it now, he's still looking into the fire. I didn't do it for him anyway. I did it for me. Probably something psychological to do with confidence, either way. I did it.

He turns his face to look at me. "To tell you that, at moments like this, it's important, very important to be with the one you love. When endings are upon you and the only thing standing in the way is a fight. A fight, that in all honesty, probably be lost..it's very important to remind yourself what you're fighting for."

He shrugs a little. "Stuff like that..it can tip the odds." Again he looks away. "Being with the one you love."

I knew it. I knew it, I knew it, I knew it. You think I'd learn. You think I'd have learned about keeping secrets by now. First with the running away garbage. Then when Angel returned. Keeping those things inside just made everything worse in the long run. It's not like I haven't experienced it from the other side. Willow's whole insecurity issues, Xander, Oz, me... It hurt a lot when it came out. If she had told me..told someone. Maybe it wouldn't have quite so much.

But did I learn? Nooooooo..I just HAVE to keep my secrets. Like the big one. Like how I don' t love Angel anymore. How I love Willow. How I, Buffy Summers, a girl, love Willow Rosenberg, also known as 'A Girl'. See? There's that whole 'risk' thing with my love affairs. I never thought keeping secrets would be the end of the world. Now... now I think I know better.

Too little, too late.

So now I have to tell him the truth. And he'll be hurt and they'll be tears and recriminations and pain. Who knows, maybe he'll just leave. And without him to help us...maybe those Jhe bitches will win, the Hellmouth will remain open and ..the World will die.

But I owe him that much. Cause I can't fake it..I can't fake what he's asking for and even if I could, I wouldn't. He deserves better.

I swallow a few times. "Angel...I.."

"C'mere Buffy." I glance up at him.

Somehow he moved across the room to the heavy drapes along the far wall. I know what's past them. His 'bedroom'. There's a four poster bed in there. Heavy oak frame, large mahogany colored curtains handing from the top. They can be pulled down to isolate the bed from the rest of the world.

Oh God.

Oh God.

Or..as Giles would say. 'Oh Dear.'

"Angel.." I try again. "There's something.."

"Just come over here." He says again. He's..smiling? You have to know what to look for to see Angel's smile. They are not very big or often. But they're unmistakable. "If you trust me Buffy, if you ever did trust me..please..come here."

What the hell. The world is going to end soon enough..probably. Whatever is back there can't make things any worse.

I stalk across the room and the 'click clack' of my heels seems to echo through the vaulted chamber. I stand on the other side of the arch from which the drapes hang, directly across from him so I'm where he wants me to be, yet still as far away as possible.

He reaches out with one hand and strokes the material with his fingers. "It's soft." He murmurs and then look at me.

Aaannnddd..here we go. "Angel look, there's something I really...."

He pulls aside the drapes and I can see into the bedroom.

Four poster bed? Check.

Large picture windows painted over in black? Check.

Fire in THAT fireplace? Check.

Small redheaded girl curled up on the bed looking as if she cried herself to sleep? Chec..whoa. Hold up. That's new.

I look at Angel.  
I look at Willow.  
I look back at Angel.

He's smiling still. A small, quiet, kinda sad smile. He's watching me switch back and forth from him to Willow. He nods slowly.

"Yeah." He whispers more to himself, even though he's looking right at me. "It's definitely a good idea to remind yourself of what you're fighting for."

If I ever find myself in a 'gape like a fish' competition I'll win hands down. I can feel my lips moving but no sound is coming out of my mouth. I don't even think I'm really here anymore. All of sudden my whole concept of 'being' is called into question. I can't feel my hands, my feet, nothing except this warring, whirling rush of horror, embarrassment and not a little bit of grief.

Then my eyes begin to sting and I'm sure I'm here; that I'm here and this is real and I'm probably going to start crying.

Which sucks.

I hate crying.

"Angel." I croak out weakly. "I'm..I..."

He brushes his knuckles against my cheek. "Don't be sorry." He says. "Don't you dare be sorry for finding something wonderful, beautiful, and incredibly rare." He lets his hand drop to his side. "Besides." He shrugs. "There's the added bonus of her being curse free."

Now I'm really lost. See, Angel doesn't really make jokes. Yet he just did. So...I'm wondering if somehow I got sucked into the Twilight Zone.

"You knew?" I finally can speak. Squeak more like but..hey..I'm communicating.

He nods. "For a bit."

"How long?" I ask.

He tilts his head back as if counting. Maybe he's got the time tracked in hours. Finally he smiles again, just a little, locks eyes with me and says: "Gazebo."

Ah.

Ah......FUCK!

Now murderous rage is locked in mortal combat with a real case of humiliation. Part of me wants to kill him. The other part wants to dive under the sofa and commune with dust bunnies.

"You were there?" I squeak again. "You watched us? How..I...oooo..how dare you and here I.."

He interrupts. "Not by choice Buffy. The holy water evaporated, some newbies were moving in. I'd been tracking them. I'd never..." He awkwardly shifts from one foot to the other. "...never..do that kind of thing on purpose."

"You...protected us?" I gasp aloud. "Even though you knew what was happening?"

"Sure." He looks away. "Of course. Love is a two way thing Buffy. But not always. Yes, I still love you. I probably always will. And that means, if required, I'll watch over you." He smiles again. "I just won't watch..watch..you."

I can't help it, but a tiny smile pulls at my lips involuntarily. "Bet you'd want too."

He wisely doesn't say anything but if he were human I'm sure he'd be blushing.

"Jokes aside, and that was a joke not an invitation," I continue, shaking my finger in his face. "I love you too." And I open the rest of my hand and let my fingers linger against his cheek. His dark eyes bore into mine but they're clear and strong. Not glazed over with some sort of misunderstanding. He knows me, knows what I mean, and I do love him for it.

"I do love you." I repeat. "But not in ..uh..the.."

"Love way?" He chuckles quietly. "That's probably for the best."

He reaches up with his own hand and rests it atop mine, still against his cheek. We stay like that for a moment. Lingering in a last touch. Cause that's what it is. A last time, a final time. And I've seen to much to lie to myself. Part of me is hurting terribly...but that's the way it is. The way it has to be and..in all honesty..the way I want it to be.

Masochistic much?

Finally he curls his fingers around my hand and, slowly, gently, pulls my hand away from him. Holding it for a moment he just stares at our fingers intertwined. Then with a sigh he lets go and our hands fall away from each other. He slowly turns to look at where Willow is still asleep on his bed.

"She came to me about an hour ago." He says. "She was...crying and..just a mess. I had no idea what was wrong with her. All I could get was that she was terrified, beyond anything I've ever seen before. She kept going on and on about 'endings' and the Hellmouth. How she needed to see you, be with you... but that she couldn't ask you too because you were needed elsewhere."

He shrugs again. We've been doing that a lot tonight. "I guess she really felt she had nowhere else to go."

I remember how calm she'd been since this whole bunch of crap had started with the JheBitches. Even though things just got worse and worse..and they did it fast too..but she just kept calm, focused. Trying to be what she thought I needed her to be. Good ol' Willow, supportive and always there Willow. I curse myself for being so wrapped up in 'the situation' that I didn't even notice. She must have hit some critical mass. With everyone talking about how terrible the situation is, me, Giles, not even letting Xander be a part of it...

It hits me at that moment. Hard, there's no 'real world' equivalent that wouldn't kill me dead on the spot. It would be like being run over by a train. I realize, at that second, that I've been so wrapped up in the threat I have not, for a moment, considered how she's feeling about all this. How Willow, my Willow, who I love and loves me...a lot, I don't have time to think of an analogy, feels about knowing that I'll be taking point in what will probably be, for lack of a better term, a suicide mission.

Shit.

"Go to her." Angel says quietly. "You don't have a lot of time."

I can only nod.

"I'll be..uh.." He looks around the room desperately. "Outside. In the ..garden. Far in the garden."

I give him a small smile. "Thanks."

"You're welcome."

I step through the archway and he lets the drapes fall shut.

I stand there across the threshold waiting. He is deliberately clumsy as he walks away, so I can hear his slow, solid steps getting fainter and fainter as the distance between us, both real and emotional, grows. It's another gesture.

With only the fire in the smaller fireplace for illumination the room, once so large and spacious becomes a little claustrophobic. Orange light and black shadows dance about the walls. The flames illuminate the deep red curtains and they seem to be on fire as well. The same colored blanket, wrinkled and twisted by the nervous rest of the the lone occupant.

Her feet are tangled in the covers, despite being asleep one hand is clenched into a fist that grips the bed sheet tightly. As I watch her legs beging to tremble, a slight, sad, whimper escapes her throat. I'm at her side in an instant. Almost like teleportation. 'Beam me up ..something or other.'

"Shhhh..." I whisper in her ear. I cup her face with one hand and lightly rub the bridge of her nose with my thumb. "Hush..it's okay. I'm here. Everything is fine now. Husshh..hushhh.."

She's still asleep but she must hear me, the whimpers stop and she lets out a slow, quiet, sigh. Her body relaxes, her fist unclenches and she seems to just...fall away from me into a deeper rest. I let her.

She sleeps, I watch. This goes on for what feels like forever. I listen to her deep, even breaths still idly stroking her face with my fingers, just being..loving. A quiet moment..finally.

Actually it's just a few minutes, I guess. Her breathing changes slightly. Her eyelashes flutter and she begins to murmur quietly to herself. I think part of her knows I'm here now because she shifts about on the bed until she's slid a little closer and curls up against me. As she's moving I ease an arm under her head creating a pillow. I know I'm probably not as comfortable as an actual pillow but she's stopped shifting about and her mutterings have ceased. I know I made the right move.

And all is silent. Save for the occasional crackle from the fire or the quiet rustle as it collapses in on itself, blazing up a little higher than before casting great shadows across the room, the bed, across us. I can only lose myself in the shadowplay. Holding Willow and watching.

I guess I kind of zone out because I don't notice her hand reaching up until it makes contact with my cheek, she touches my skin gently turning my face towards hers and I'm still coming out my fugue state when she tilts her head up and kisses me.

It's one of those kisses that could go either way. Not a peck, not a platonic gesture; all it would take is to open just a little bit more and it would grow into something passionate, or pull back just a touch and it would shrink to something less so. Her lips begin to close but than open a little wider, asking, needing more and I give. I give and give and give and even when my body is screaming for air, and my muscles trembling from the lack of it, all I do is run my own fingers through her hair and pull her tighter against me, giving even more.

 

It ends, finally. I don't gasp out loud even though the fresh oxygen is welcome. If anything I hurt just a bit because it did end. She doesn't say anything, Willow doesn't. In my arms, I'm in hers and we're just nuzzling each other. Brushing our faces against each other, the tips of our noses bump occasionally, cheeks being kissed, lips pressed against necks. She's not saying anything clearly, just whispered mumblings, I cradle her head in my hand, pushing just a bit so she has to arch her neck. Her throat is long, white and lovely. I trace the outlines with my finger tips, touch the soft skin with the tip of my tongue and listen to her mutter.

I lay small kisses up her neck, along her jaw till our lips meet again. Another exercise in oxygen deprivation ensues. She..tastes different now. There's a desperation. I can feel it. Her hands clasp my face, she's kissing me so hard it's a little painful but I don't pull away. I can't. I don't want too.

We pull apart eventually, I've slipped my arms around her and am holding her tightly against me. I can feel and hear her ragged breathing as she tries to catch her breath.

"Hi." I say into her hair.

"Hi." She replies equally muffled by my shoulder.

She gently pushes against me and I let my arms slack so she can pull away. Her face moves into my vision and I can see she's still a little troubled. She's not looking at me, but staring over my shoulder at the canopy of the bed.

"It wasn't a dream." She says.

"What? The kiss? I hope not." I answer.

"You and me." She explains. "Not a dream."

"Better than a dream." I say kissing her on the cheek. She still doesn't look at me.

"Feels like it sometimes." She says. I sigh and sit up.

"Willow. Baby..what's wrong?" I ask. I brush a few errant locks of red hair off her face.

"I'm scared." She replies with simple candor.

"We'll win." I try and sound soothing and confidant. "We'll kill that Sisterhood, seal the Hellmouth and have our very own 'saved the world again' party." I want to leer, be a little suggestive but..it doesn't happen. I just wind up feeling stupid.

"Oh I'm scared of them. You bet." Willow sighs. "But that's not what I'm scared of."

Now I'm worried. The Sisterhood of Jhe and the seeming inevitable opening of the Hellmouth is scary enough. What could be more terrifying?

"Well.." I say slowly. "What's the problem then Willow?"

Her eyes meet mine finally but..it's less of a comfort than I thought it would be. I can see her fear. It fills her eyes and reaches out to my own, adding to it. My heart speeds up just a bit and the room seems a little colder than it was, roaring fire or no roaring fire.

"Do you love me?" She whispers.

"Yes." I whisper back.

"Say it." She licks her lips and I realise my own are suddenly dry. "Please Buffy, say it. I need to hear it."

"I ..I love you Willow." Now my throats dry. I blink back the tears that now threaten. She's doing the same thing. "I love you so much and so deeply it's scary. I wasn't looking for it. I didn't think I needed it before. I actually believed it would be a terrible thing to be in love after Angelus. I..I had planned to avoid it. Love I mean. And then..." I wave my hand indicting her and me. "And then this happened and the faintest whisper of the possibility of what we have no longer being.. I just want to cry. Find you, pull you into my arms and never let you go."

I swallow a few times. The tears are still threatening me, they beat Willow. Fresh streaks of moisture are sliding down her cheeks. Her lower lip is trembling but she doesn't look away from me.

"I love you Willow." I continue. "You are my world. Everything else is just stuff. Stuff that happens to be around. If you weren't here to ..to keep me warm. To keep me anchored.." I shrug. "You're what I fight for." And the tears win. Don't they always?

"I.." She opens her mouth, closes it again, tries once more. "I..I love you too Buffy."

She lurches upright wrapping her arms around me so tight I can barely breathe, but I'm probably doing the same to her. She silently crying, I can feel her chest heave against mine and hear her shuddering gasps.

"Buffy." She says into my ear. "Promise me."

"Anything." I say back.

"Promise me you'll let me be there."

"What!" I exclaim pulling back. "Willow..."

"Promise!" She practically shouts. Her eyes lock with mine, the glow of the fire in them gives her stare a particular power. Then again, she's always had a particular power over me.

"But...what if.. I want you .." I flail about looking for the words to tell her how much it would mean to me if I knew she was out of danger.

"I'm safest with you." She interrupts. "If we fail..then no place will be safe and everything will end. It'll just be a matter of time. If things have to end I want them to end with me being with you. Not cowering somewhere waiting for some nightmare to find me."

She pauses for breath. "If you go, I don't want you going alone. And I don't want to be alone."

"Willow." I breathe. "It won't happen, I won't fail. I'll stop the End of The World just like before. It'll help if I know you're safe."

"I won't BE safe Buffy. I have to be with you, I want to be with you. I know I wouldn't be to helpful. The most powerful magic I have is that fog spell and if I recall correctly, that first thing out of the Hellmouth doesn't even have eyes!" She takes a deep breath and sets her features. I've lost already but I let her play it out. "Be that as is it may, I want to be there. Promise me Buffy. Please..."

I slowly nod. "Alright. Alright Willow if that's what you want. I promise, no matter what Giles says; you'll be there."

She lets out a deep sigh, like someone who's been holding their breath a very long time and begins to cry again. Still quietly. "Thank you." She manages to get out. "N..now all I have to worry about is a tribe of demonic bitches with a permanent case of PMS and apocalyptic aspirations."

A small giggle worms it's way past my one quiet weeping. "Don't forget.."I swallow and start over. "Don't forget a multi-headed, blind, tentacled horror with far too many teeth."

She herself giggles a bit into her fist, the one pressed up against her mouth. She only nods in response. And we sit there on the bed for a minute. Lost in our own thoughts.

Which don't last much longer than the minute. She flings herself into my arms and pushes me onto my back, I don't resist much. Her hands clasp my face between them and I reciprocate as best I can, pulling her close, holding her tight as her lips find every nook and cranny of my features, when possible I intercept her lips with my own but she's holding my head pretty tight.

"Oh God." She gasps into my mouth. "Oh God..Oh God..Buffy..."

"Shhhh.." I whisper back. "It'll be okay. We'll..we'll get through this."

"Buffy." She whimpers. "I'm so scared. All I feel is cold. All I feel is afraid. I'm tired Buffy. Tired of feeling this way over and over and over.."

"It'll be over soon." I quietly reply. "It'll be over." One way or the other, but I leave that last bit unsaid, not that she's not thinking it herself probably.

"Don't you get it?" She whispers into my ear. "I don't want it to be over."

"The fear?" I can feel my eyebrows crease in confusion.

"No Buffy." And she smiles for the first time in.. I can't remember when. I'm sure it was last week sometime. She strings her fingers through my hair. "No, not the fear Buffy. This..us..I never want it to be over."

"Oh." Duh! "Well..I don't either Willow." I kiss her lips softly. "Never."

She's silent for a moment, trailing her fingers through my hair. Just looking down at me. She comes to a decision I guess, she gives a tiny nod in some thought question of her own.

"Make love to me Buffy."

The words..I should have seen them coming. I mean, it makes perfect sense. An awful situation, probable doom lurking over the fate of everything. What do you do? Something which affirms life and living more than any other. Yeah, makes sense to me.

"Yes." Is all I say. All I have to say and, unsuprisingly, all I have time to say because the instant the 's' of 'yes' is said she swoops down to devour me and I relish every second of it.

Where, when, how our clothing is removed I have no idea. They just melt away, or seem to, like reality acknowledging our desires and removing arbitrarily, these final barriers between us at that moment. All I know is one moment I'm garbed, the next I'm not. I can't recall any interruption in the series of kisses we've been locked in since I said 'yes' but it stands to reason there had to be one. Unless I maybe just tore the shirt right off. I'll worry about that later.

"Buffy." She gasps into my mouth. "I..." I break her line of thinking with a deep kiss of my own, letting her free seconds later. "I know." I say back. "I've always known." Then her lips interrupt me. She's still on top of me, and her hands move down over my skin. Warm, hot even, but so soft even if I can feel her hunger in how she touches me, I can feel it because I can feel my own hunger. It flares up bright and demanding but..it's different this time. It's so.. powerful. Not pushing though, not insatiable and hurrying just very...uh..there?

I open my eyes to watch her frantically kissing me. My cheeks, my neck, my ear, behind my ear, and she's crying while she's doing it. "So beautiful." She whimpers in between. Softly, very softly. Maybe she thinks I can't hear her; she should know better now. I reach up with my hands and caress her face. Wiping the tears from her cheeks with the pads of my thumbs. She opens her own eyes looking a bit startled.

"Yes." I say. "You are so beautiful my Willow."

She leans into my hands, trying to force her way past them so her lips can reach mine and I let her, I want her too but after the kiss, which is frantic and sweet with tongues and teeth and fire and passion, after all that when she begins to move her head down, over my throat and starting between the valley of my breasts..no I don't want that. Not now. Not this time.

I put one hand behind her head and gently pull her back up to again we're eye to eye.

"Wha?" She asks in a confused and slightly hurt tone. "Don't you want me to.."

"No." I smile up at her, give her a short quick kiss. "Not this time my love. This time I don't want to lose sight of you for even a second."

"But.." I shush her with a fingers across her lips.

"No 'buts' I say. No nothing. Just you and me. Eye to eye." I kiss her eyelids. "Face to face." I kiss the tip of her nose. "Lips to lips." And again we kiss, her lips part and I can taste the sweetness of her tongue. There's something so wonderful about that. Warm, delicious and soft. Moving over my own, it's like..it's like...it's like we're drinking each other. Sustaining, sharing...and..I'll never get tired of it.

I trace the line of her legs with the toe of my left foot and she slightly parts them, I can feel her knee pushing against me and I reciprocate. Our tongues never stop dancing, her fingers lightly caress my face and ears while my own trace the lines of her back. Our legs slide around, soft..so ..warm and.. then I raise my knee my thigh gently nudges against her and she again gasps into my mouth at the gentle brush. A second later she's pushing against me and the pressure sends delightful waves rushing up my spine. I whimper around her tongue and I can feel her lips pulling up into a smile but still pressed against mine.

I slowly swivel my thigh in a circle, increasing the pressure against her at the top and then easing off as my leg circles away. This time her gasp of pleasure breaks the liplock and she throws back her head, eye's shut. She tries to follow my thigh as it moves away from her but she can't do that and still press against me. Willow begins to move her thigh in a circle, opposite to my own. The warm tingle grows into a rush of pleasure, sweet..and....wide and I can feel the cold pit in my stomach of fear being washed away by it. Like a cold ball of ice the warmth of being with her, being with my lover, having her please me and myself pleasing her. It's being rinsed away by our fire. That cold ball is being destroyed.

When her movements ease, and she pulls away I can't help but whimper a bit. I begin to nibble on my lower lip. It's so slow..again the circle crests and I push against her firmly. This time she doesn't have the strength to hold her head up and she rests her forehead against mine while giving voice to her approval.

"Nnnmmm..."

"I can bet." I whisper back. Then her own cycle pushes her against me again and I win the bet, but can't keep quiet about it.

"Maa..ma...sss.." I slip up. I prefer to be quieter but..it's just so much.

"W..won't take that bet...nnn..." She gasps still resting on me.

It's cresting. I can feel it and our bodies speed up of their own violition. She's so wet and I must be soaking. Her thigh, coated from me, slides with deliscious smoothness over my lips which part slightly. Direct contact for a split second..it makes my heart leap in my chest. My back arches and my yelp of pleasure has to be audible far away. Poor Angel.

I gyrate my hips this time, bringing more pressure to bear against Willow and her delighted cry is music to my ears. Before either of us can come down from the pleasure we crest again in our mutual dances and again there's that beautiful contact. Again we express our mutual pleasure...a bit loudly.

"Oh God." Willow moans.

"More?" I can barely get the word out.

A fervent nod is her response.

Her arms give out as our mutual lovemaking picks up speed a little bit more. I wrap my arms around her tight. One hand cupping the back of her head pushing her into my shoulder. I fasten my lips around her ear, grazing it with my teeth and suckling on the lobe. She starts to shudder in my arms.

All sense of rhythm is lost, we're just ..pushing against each other, riding..Willow is gasping in time..I think I am too but all the blood roaring in my ears seems to deafen me. Or ..maybe just selective hearing. I can hear her..but not me. I'm pretty sure the only parts of my body still touching the bed are the back of my right leg, the heel of my left and the back of my head, the rest HAS to be arching off the blanket. I'm thrumming so tight, my muscles are screaming at me but I don't dare relax.

My mind wanders off and I can just imagine how the two of us must look, if someone wandered in. Our legs wrapped around each other, are pelvises grinding into each others thighs. Hunching together, my arms wrapped around Willow, her face pressed against my shoulder, sweat pasting her hair to her forehead, whimpering in my ear as we both get closer and closer. The firelight glistening off the moisture coating our thighs. She's so hot, wet...hot..I said that already..hot..sweet. I turn her my face into her ear.

"I ...mmm..I know you love me." I gasp.

"Mmhmmaa.." She whines.

"I lo..love...you too." I press home the point with an extra hard grind.

"Mmm..MM...MMMmm...yay.." She whispers.

"Ready?" Boy, I know I am.

She shakes her head frantically, pauses..and then begins to nod vigorously.

"Ye..Ye...Yessss."

I pull her back down on top of me and just push against her as hard as I dare just sliding my thigh back and forth in tiny, tiny circles. It must work. Her teeth suddenly sink into my shoulder, at the same time she forces her leg up harder and higher I spread mine just a bit more and it..it...

I hear her quiet, climbing wail.

"mmm..MMm..Mmmaa...Nnnnaaaa...MMMmnnn..."

Her fingers clench in my hair into fists and she hangs on to me as I squeeze her and hang on as well. I reach my own crest for the final time a split second later.

"More..mmmooree..more..moremoremoremoremoe....." I think it's something like that. I'm not exactly listening to myself, but rather the music of my lover as she rides her own waves.

I feel her spasming against my thigh rythmically that I feel from my own heat, again in an odd echo. All across my skin everything suddenly becomes VIVID. The soft warmth of her breasts pressing against me, the diffrence, slightly cooler warmth of her smooth belly rubbing against mine. The blazing heat of her breath and sharp, delicious pain of her teeth still deep in my shoulder. And...all the strength just gets sucked out my body and I realize I have been arching for the longest time when I collapse back onto the bed, sending her sprawling all over me.

She lies atop of me. Breathing deeply..slowly..evenly. I lie there and listen to her. A slight arrest interrupts her smooth inhalation. Then another..and another. And the next thing I know she crying again. It doesn't matter why, or where or when to me. All that matters is she's hurting and I have a pretty good idea why. Because the passion we had, our love, it was a shield and for a few short moments we forgot what was almost upon us. That shields gone now and I can feel the cold over my heart reform and become a solid ache once again. I'd like to cry myself but I don't think I can afford too.

I pull her close, resting the side of her face against my breast like a babe. The pungent aroma of our combined arousal a stunning contrast to the sound of her sobbing.

"Oh God..Oh God..Oh God..Oh God Buffy..Oh God." She sobs. "I don't want it to end. I don't want it to end, I don't want it to end. I don't ever want it to end."

"I love you Willow. It won't end." I know where she is, I can feel it too. The love, warm..safe and glorious..what we just shared..life..living...together. Everything we mean to each other. But behind it..the same fear and worry that has been attacking us since this whole mess started.

She's lost in these conflicting emotions, and as I myself get rocked about by this mishmash of love, warmth, fear, cold, hate, depression, and joy I find myself reaching beyond that.

Her arms wrap around me and I pull her up higher so her chin rests on my shoulder. Our embrace is fierce, I can feel her tears dripping off her face to fall, hot and salty, across my back. "I don't want it to end, I don't want it to end, I don't want it to end.." She says over and over.

And I reach past all that as well. In my mind's eye I can see it. A small point, burning, white, unwavering and untouched by the surrounded emotional tempests.

And I know it won't end this way.

With the Sisterhood; with the Hellmouth.

I open my eyes and stare over Willow's shoulder into the fire beyond. I can feel it's heat as I feel the white heat inside me.

It won't end this way.

I won't let it.

END


	9. In Willow's Bedroom

Disclaimer: The characters of Buffy: the vampire Slayer, belong to Joss Whedon, mutant enemy, Upn, and anyone else I can't think of at the moment. They do not, however, belong to me, and no profit was made in the making of this fic.

Subtext: Nah, it's maintext all the way. I'd give this an NC-17 rating for the sex. If you're too young, come back when you're older. If you're adverse to woman on woman action...see the back up key? Hit it real quick. Flamers? Don't make me break out my asbestos underwear...they're really itchy.

This is the ninth part in the On occasion series...but seeing as it follows Bad girls and takes place during Consequences I thought I'd try a little different formula...let me know if it works.

On Occasion: In Willow's Bedroom

Lying in my bed I hear the clock tick  
and think of you  
Caught up in circles confusion  
Is nothing new  
Flashback  
warm nights  
Almost left behind  
Suitcase  
of memories  
Time after..

Sometimes you picture me  
I'm walking too far ahead  
You're calling to me  
I can't hear  
What you've said  
Then you say, go slow  
I fall behind,  
The second hand unwinds

Chorus:  
If you're lost you can look and you will find me  
Time after time  
If you fall I will catch you I'll be waiting  
Time after time  
If you're lost you can look and you will find me  
Time after time  
If you fall I will catch you I'll be waiting  
I will be waiting!  
Time after time

After my picture fades  
and darkness has turned to gray  
Watching through windows you're wondering if I'm okay.  
Secrets stolen from deep inside.  
The drum beats out of time

If you're lost you can look and you will find me  
Time after time  
If you fall I will catch you I'll be waiting  
Time after time  
If you're lost you can look and you will find me  
Time after time  
If you fall I will catch you I'll be waiting  
I will be waiting!  
Time after time

You said go slow,  
I fall behind  
The second hand unwinds

If you're lost you can look and you will find me  
Time after time  
If you fall I will catch you I'll be waiting  
Time after time  
If you're lost you can look and you will find me  
Time after time  
If you fall I will catch you I'll be waiting  
I will be waiting!  
Time after time

Cindy Lauper

Life as a fish is so simple. All they do is swim round and round in their bowl waiting for someone to feed them, and occasionally change their water. They don't have thoughts, or hopes, or feelings. At least, I don't think they do; and even if they did, they wouldn't have any way to express them, unless they're telepathic...oooh, that would be cool...but I don't think so. They'd probably be really simple, like...

"I'm so happy my water is clean',

'oh, is that food?', or

'Look, I'm hiding in my castle'. 

They wouldn't be the mixed up mess of conflicting emotions we humans are subjected to on a daily basis. I can't see a fish pondering whether or not his swiming buddy really liked him. 

If only I could be a fish. I'd be happily swimming in my little fish bowl, not a care in the world except for when my swimming buddy bites me on my tail. Nope. Not me. I'm not that lucky. I just get to watch the two sparkling orange goldfish swim aimlessly, while my stomach swims along with them. When did life get so complicated? I could start at the beginning, like when Buffy first moved to Sunnydale. That sure added a whole slew of complications to my admittedly amebic-like life. Before she came all I had to worry about was Cordelia picking on me in the halls...or the fact that Xander had the attention span of a two-year old high on sugar. But then that would just be the icing on the cake.

So...when? After the Master? After Angelus? After...that first kiss, at the sleepover...when we...that certainly was unexpected. Buffy and I...who could have predicted that? Well, nobody considering nobody else knew. Well, nobody except for Angel...and he doesn't exactly count.

So...unpredictable...completely unlooked for and yet...just thinking about her makes this place in my stomach feel all squishy. Which is unfortunate, because I'm trying really hard to stay mad at her. How could she do this to me? First Buffy completely skips out on a study date we were supposed to have to go Slaying with...her. Not that I take her duties as a Slayer lightly...I don't. But I was really looking forward to those after study smoochies. And then, she skipped out of class in the middle of a really important test...again...with her. I presume they were going Slaying...again. Which is fine..except that she used to trust me to guard her back...I used to go with her all the time. But now Buffy says it's too dangerous?

I suppose I should have talked to her when she approached me in the hall this morning, I mean she looked all nervous and...and somber, but I didn't exactly know what to say. And I was still mad at her...am still mad at her...and that makes me feel even more mad because feeling mad just makes me feel icky. I don't like feeling angry, but I especially don't like feeling angry at Buffy. It hurts. Which just makes me even more angry. Darn vicious cycles.

Oh well. Thinking about her isn't going to get my homework done any faster. I still have to do it, even though she can blithely ignore assignments. She's the Slayer...she has more important things to do. But not me. See...there's my laptop, set up on my desk, just waiting for me. Sometimes it's just not easy being me. Being a straight A student takes hard work, and dedication...especially when you're fighting vampires as a sideline. Something I think Buffy has forgotten.

A tap at my french doors. I must have jumped three feet. Boy, I'm wired. Totally. I can feel my heart trying to beat it's way out of my ribcage. Well, considering the creatures of the night don't usually knock, I don't think it would hurt to answer it...after all, only a few people would bother to try to get my attention from this route. Xander usually just rings the doorbell. Angel came to these same doors last year...before he turned all evil. But he doesn't really have a reason to come see me, at least I don't think he does. Which leaves just one possibility. The person I've been thinking about all evening, that's got my head spinning in such savage circles.

I see her form outlined behind the curtains. Buffy!

My heart almost skips a happy beat at the very thought of her, but then I dampen that elated urge, reminding myself that I'm still really grouchy with her at the moment. But I don't want to be. I'd much rather be happy with Buffy. To feel her kisses on my neck, to look into those shining blue eyes and feel the warm sunshine of her smile on my face, surrounding me with bliss. I want the blissful Buffy back. Not the absentee Buffy that's taken her place. Oh, why does life have to be so complicated. Why can't the night last forever...to be a fish... yeah. To be a fish. But that would mean no Buffy. That thought is totally depressing, but I can't think about that now.. She's waiting and I have to open the door. We'll work this out..we..we have to.

I open the door and she stands there waiting for something. I'm not quite sure what she's waiting for. She doesn't look happy, but I suppose neither do I. "Hey." She mumbles, and I can barely make out the word, although I know she spoke cause I can see her lips moving.

I think I answered back, because she kind of nodded, looking me over with her eyes. "Can...can I come in?" It's kind of funny, but the last time I answered that question in the affirmative, it lead to the death of my goldfish. Not that I'm comparing Buffy to Angel...for one thing, she would never kill my goldfish. And she's never tried to hurt me...at least...not intentionally. I attempt to keep this in mind as I let her in.

She walks over to the bed, looking more nervous than I've ever seen her...and that's saying a lot considering her ex-boyfriend, who just happened to be a vampire, had at one time tried to kill us. Sitting on the bed, she looks at me, and I can feel something is off with her. I'm not quite sure what that something is, but it's starting to make me nervous.

"I need to talk to you." She says quietly, with hardly any tone in her voice, and now I'm really nervous. Conversations that start that way never end well. What could it be? She's been spending a lot of time with Faith recently, so maybe...no...please don't let it be that. She can't possibly want to...I feel like my brain is going to explode, or just stop functioning. I have to...have to start talking. Yeah, that's it...maybe if I talk she won't have a chance to say what she wants to say.

"Good." I can hear my own voice in my head...funny how that happens. I wonder if she can hear how badly it's trembling. "Cause I've been letting things fester. And I don't like it. I wanna be fester-free." Fester-free? What kind of thing is that to say? What if Buffy takes it the wrong way...what if she thinks that I want to break up?

She's smiling at me, but it's not her usual 'devil-may-care I'll stake him on Saturday' kind of grin, it's more of a 'I hope she doesn't take this too badly' kind. Or, maybe my imagination is just running away from me. "Yeah. Me, too." Me too? Me too what? My mind goes swiftly back over our conversation. Oh...the fester-free part. Oh goddess, I think I'm going to be sick. My hands are shaking and I have to clasp them together to keep her from noticing. Please don't let her mean that she wants to...I don't want her to lea-...to break up...I don't want to be fester-free that way. Got to keep talking.

"I mean, don't get me wrong. I-I completely understand why you and Faith have been doing the bonding thing." I wince internally. Poor choice of words. That brings to mind a whole other type of imagery I'd rather not think about...like Buffy in chains...and Faith dressed completely in black leather, carrying a whip, and laughing seductively as she runs the peice of leather up and down Buffy's...no, no no, can't go there. "You guys work together. You... You should get along." Who am I trying to convince here, her or me?

'Its more complicated than that." Her voice is small and I barely hear her through the swarm of doubts running through my own head. But I hear just enough to increase their pitch. A flurry of questions explode in my brain. Complicated? It's complicated? How long has it been complicated Buffy? And why haven't you told me? I can't stop the avalanche of thought that seem insistent on making it's prescence known. My imagination is oh so handy at handing me images of Buffy and Faith wrapped up together in some sort of steamy tryst. My heart aches at every scene.

She's just sitting there on my bed, looking like she has a million things to say but isn't quite sure whether she can, or wants to say them. And all of a sudden, I'm mad...more mad than I've ever been before. Which is kind of scary, considering my total aversion to that whole anger emotion, but I'm also not just going to sit back and take this. Not anymore.

"I'm ticked!" I say firmly, standing up, and Buffy's startled into looking at me instead of her pant leg. "I'm ticked and I'm not ashamed of being ticked. Do you know why?" I say, even though I am a little bit...ashamed that is...just seeing Buffy get that pinched, regretful look on her face makes me be ashamed, but I'm past the point of stopping.

"Willow?" Buffy's staring at me. Good. Finally I have her full attention focused solely on me. For the first time in..how long? But..but oooo this isn't the kind of attention I wanted. I want the other kind the..soft kind...the sweet smiles and the loving gazes...and-

No. No, we have something to say and by gum we're going to say it!

"I'll tell you what's ticking me off!" Buffy looks down at her hands again and I know what she's going to say. Or..at least I think I do. Her face says it all. That's her..uhm..what...what...oh yeah, she's putting on her 'You can't understand' mask. I can't stand that mask. It makes my stomach boil.

"It's that exact thing that-that's just ticking me off!" I say loudly, pointing my finger in her face. She jumps a bit, startled at my outburst, but I'm on a roll. "It's this whole 'Slayers only' attitude. I mean, since when wouldn't I understand? You, you talk to me about *everything*. I used to be the one you would always turn to Buffy, remember? And now, now you bring all your problems to Faith. That hurts! That hurts a lot! Ever since we...we...I-it's like all of a sudden I-I'm not cool enough for you because I can't kill things with my bare hands."

As the words 'bare hands' exits my mouth I see Buffy flinch, hard, like I'd just slapped her. She...she shrank away from me. I scared her? I scared the girl I love and somehow said something bad? What did I say? Something about...killing something...with my...bare...hands? What? I'm so confused. I don't think this is about what I thought it was about at all. I take a brief moment to really notice Buffy for the first time since she arrived.

Her lower lip is trembling and the glassy, watery eyes she's been giving me since she got here, but foolish me never took the time to notice, spills over. She dissolves right in front of me...just slides down onto the bed, her arms holding her chest tightly, while she sobs uncontrollably. I did this. I hurt her. I can't believe I hurt her. But...but I...I didn't mean too!

I can't take it. My Buffy...crying. I have to stop it...I have to help her. "Oh! Oh, Buffy! Don't cry." Crawling onto the bed, I wrap my arm around her shaking body. She buries her head in my shoulder, her tears wetting my shirt. "I'm sorry. I-I was too hard on you. Sometimes I unleash. I-I don't know my own strength. I-i-it's bad. I-I-I'm bad. I'm a bad, bad, bad person."

I feel her shake her head against my shoulder. "No." She croaks, and I can hear the tears in her voice. "You...you're not bad. You could never be bad." Buffy denies vehemently. "I'm the bad one."

I'm not sure what to think at this point. "What do you mean, Buffy?" I ask gently, trying to understand.

"Will, I'm in trouble." I'm looking into her eyes as she says this, and for a moment I can barely breathe, struck by the sheer terror and sadness radiating from those blue eyes. How could I have missed the pain that she was in? What could possibly have happened to make her look like this? Were all of our friends okay? What about her mother? I have too many questions and no real answers. I can feel her muscles, shuddering with tension underneath my hands, I can feel her fear and it's becoming my fear as well. I..I want to move..to go..have to..why? Don't care. Oh Goddess. I have to ask, though at this point I'm not sure I want to. But we're both here, and we have to handle this together.

"What happened Buffy?" Her blue eyes are foggy and I can see that she's struggling with her decision of whether or not to tell me, part of her fear is trapping something inside...but I'm right on top of her...I do the only thing I can think of...not thinking really; instinct has taken over. I gently stroke the side of her face. Then just do it again not letting her look away.

"Okay." I whisper, still touching her softly. "Okay." I repeat. Our eyes are locked, mine into hers, hers into mine, sharing each other's emotions through direct eye contact, almost like a link to each other's souls. 

Her face is wet and a little clammy but I don't stop stroking her cheeks. I wipe away the tears and try and warm her up with my hand. "Okay." I keep saying and she begins to nod.

"O-" she stops, swallows and wets her lips. "Okay." She says back to me.

I don't stop stroking her, but I don't say anything else either. I'll just give her the time she needs to say...whatever it is. I hope she hurries though; I'm so scared.

Slowly, staggeringly, she tells it...all of it...and at times it's hard to hear, hard to believe that Buffy...My Buffy...could have taken part in the events she relates...breaking in to that weapons shop...busting out of that cop car. It isn't easy for her either. Sometimes she stops...to catch her breath...or evaluate how I'm taking everything. I nod encouragingly, never losing eye contact so she can see that I'm really listening. That I'm here for her.

Then she reaches the part about the alley, about Faith and the Deputy Mayor. I feel like I'm going to be sick as I listen to Buffy's gruesome descriptions...the way he had looked at them in shock, hands clutching at the stake protruding from his chest, feeling his life slip away. Buffy's futile attempt to stop it. My heart breaks as fresh tears slip down her cheeks, and she breaks eye contact, probably feeling that now I'd want nothing to do with her. I hug her tightly to let her know that I'm not going anywhere, and I feel her arms wrap convulsively tight around me. For a second I'm worried that I won't be able to breathe, but then they loosen, settling more comfortably around me, and we just lay there comforting each other, and thinking about what was said, but not actually saying anything.

"You know, it wasn't your fault." I tell her finally, after we'd laid in silence for what seemed like an eternity. I hear her snort self-derisively and give her a slight pinch. "Hey." She protests, but I ignore the remark. "You know you can't carry the weight of the world on your shoulders for everybody. It was an accident. That alley was dark, you didn't know he wasn't a vampire until the very last second...and by then it was too late."

"That doesn't change the fact that we killed a man." The self-blame in Buffy's voice made me cringe.

"Faith killed a man...you tried to stop her." I tried to reason with her...even though I knew reasoning with her at this point would be pointless. She would still feel the guilt of that man's death for a long time to come.

"Doesn't matter. He's still dead." Buffy said, tonelessly. "What am I going to do?" She asks me, and my heart rate picks up. I know she's looking to me for answers...I've always been her 'Answer girl'. It's just, I'm not quite sure what to think at this point. This is so heavy. Apparently her question is mirrored in my face, because I see her slump in defeat.

"Everything is such a mess." Buffy sighs, and then she looks at me, like she's truly seeing me for the first time tonight. I feel a little worry knot in my stomach starting to tighten as she studies me, almost reflectively, and I can only wonder what she's thinking. I can tell by the hidden shadows in her eyes that it isn't good. "How can you stand to be around me? All I ever do is bring you trouble."

I blink...shocked a little, even though I had known it wasn't going to be good, somehow I hadn't quite expected that. And then suddenly, my self doubts and worries earlier come back around full circle. Only instead of it being me finding myself lacking, not thrilling enough to hang with the Slayer, Buffy is wondering whether she's good enough to be around me? "How can you say that?" I ask, caught somewhere in the conflicting emotions of being angry, sympathetic and hurt. Very odd combination. "How can you even think that?!"

Buffy tries to shy away from the question, pretending to find the section of my bedroom wall nearest her head incredibly fascinating, but I'm not about to let her escape. I think this conversation has waited long enough. "And here I was worrying earlier that you didn't want to be around me, anymore." My voice is quiet, rueful, but the words capture her attention. Blue eyes hit mine and I can see the shock deep within their depths. 

"Wh-what?" She manages to stutter, her voice a barely controlled squeak. She shakes her head aggressively, almost like she's trying to clear it from the fog it's been in, then looks at me, again, a look of such utter regret, that it causes physical pain. "No...I...god no..I.." She stops, I think to collect her wits, and then her hand is slowly, gently caressing my face, as if she's found something extraordinarily rare and precious. "I don't know what I'd do without you, Will." She says softly, so softly I can barely hear her. I can feel her fingers stroking my cheek, no discernible pattern to the touch, just unceasing soft movement. "I know I've been the absentee friend lately...It's just that..." She shakes her head, cutting herself off. "I'm so sorry."

My head feels muddled. I'm so confused...and the tickling sensations of her fingers on my face aren't helping my concentration, but...I think I'm getting close to something. Something she's been trying to hide from me. "Just what, Buffy?"

Her eyes leave mine, and take a sudden interest in what her fingers are doing. She swallows hard, and I think I can see sweat starting to glisten on her skin. "It's just that...I think I'm going to lose you anyway." I didn't hear that. I can't possibly have heard that right. What? She starts talking again before I can question her. 

"You're brilliant Willow! You can go to any college you want, they all want you. Me...I'll be lucky if I graduate high school. My grades should be nuked. What college in their right mind would want me? Not that it matters...it's not like I can leave Sunnydale. Big future as the Slayer ahead of me...ever notice that the Watcher's council doesn't have a retirement plan?"

"You...you think I would...leave you here to go to college?" I blink at her, suddenly aware of where her insecurity is coming from...all that talk about colleges pitching woo. I shouldn't have done it...especially in front of her...it's just that it was so flattering to get letters from all the big name schools. Imagine...me, little Willow Rosenberg getting a letter from Harvard.

"I would...if I were you. Given the chance...I'd get as far away from Sunnydale as I could. Leave all this pesky danger and vampires behind. So, what school seeking the brilliant mind of Willow Rosenberg is the farthest away? Harvard? Yale? You know you would make an excellent doctor...or a lawyer." Her tone toward the end is nearly perky, and she's pinned a huge, cheerful grin on her face, but it doesn't quite reach her eyes. I see and hear the pain behind the false brightness. I can only imagine how much this has eaten at her...fearing that I'd go away and forget her...wishing she could change fate. Though how she could think that I'd actually do that is beyond me. I love her too much to ever want to leave. But then, have I ever really told her? I remember being so excited by those letters. They must have really shook Buffy's faith. Shook it so much that she'd give up entirely, and give in to Faith's pull toward the wilder side of being the Slayer.

Well, I can't let her keep thinking that. Look at all the trouble it's caused her already. I'll just simply have to make her see that I don't plan to leave her...ever. "Actually...I was...kind of thinking of going to U.C. Sunnydale." I say calmly.

She stares at me for the longest time, the little niche in her eyebrow standing out as her brow furrows, as if she can't quite believe what I just said. "You..." She opens her mouth, closes it, shakes her head, then raises an eyebrow at me. "Did you just say..." She trails off again, and I simply nod at her. Her eyes open wide, her jaw nearly hits the floor and I swear if she gets any paler she'll be nearly transparent. "Buffy...breathe." I tell her, half afraid she'll pass out. Very slowly a smile is nudged out of hiding, tiptoeing across her face as if afraid to be noticed. Her eyes take on an inner gleam, and they are happier than I've seen them all night...all week really. But then, inexplicably, the smile disappears and she starts shaking her head at me, regretfully. "Willow you can't."

"What do you mean I can't?" I ask her, not quite believing she actually said that. Oooh, she just makes my blood boil. Buffy can be so dense sometimes.

"I can't let you stay here because of me. All those schools want you...and I know you can get in...easily." The discouraged slump is starting to overtake her body again, and that just makes me even madder.

"When are you going to get it?" I ask, leaning into her face. She's shocked by the sudden movement, but she doesn't flinch. "They may want me, but I don't want them. I want to stay here, with you. I want to be with you...for as long as we have...hopefully forever...but if not...I'll take what I can get. I'm not greedy. Just...don't send me away. I need you too much."

Her eyes are shiny with unshed tears, as she strokes up my face, tucking an errant strand of hair behind my ear. She mumbles something that I don't quite catch. "What?" I whisper, watching mesmerized as her lips move, but either I'm too distracted by her fingers questing exploration of my ear, or she said it too softly again. "Speak up Buffy, I can't hear you."

She's silent for a moment, intent only on her subtle explorations, then takes a deep breath and looks up at me. "I don't mind greedy."

I can't think of a reply to that, but it doesn't seem to matter. I lay my head on her chest, and hear her heart beat. I feel her arms wrap snugly around me, pulling me, if at all possible, closer, and suddenly I'm content. For the first time in two weeks I'm absolutely, one hundred percent content. Why? Well, I'm not really sure. Could be because we just aired all our doubts and fears, you know, got them out in the open. Someone once told me that fears get bigger if you keep them locked up, and now I know that it's true, because they don't seem so big anymore. Even though Buffy's is certainly serious, and not to mention, a little scary...I know if we go to Giles things will be all right. Some how we'll find a way. I think she feels better having someone to talk to about them. The tension that was vibrating through her when she arrived, making her shoulder's all tense and wiry, has begun to ease away. She's here...lying on my bed. Her heart beat is sounding a low and steady thump-thump under my ear. It feels so good to be in her arms again. So...right. I've found my place with her again...I think she has too, with me.

I lie there, listening to her breathe. In...out...in...out...in...out...it's soothing. Her hand slides up my back leaving tingles behind and her fingertips knead and massage the back of my neck. Oh, that feels good. I purr and snuggle closer. "I missed this." I say, and somehow my voice conveys every meaning. The closeness, the snugglies. I've missed it all. I feel a gentle kiss on my forehead, and then the tickling sensation of her finger running down my cheek, until it's under my chin, nudging me to look up at her.

"I missed this more." She whispers, her eyes intent on my face as she inches closer. I close my eyes, and wait for the kiss to happen, cause it's going to...any second now...she's not that far away...and yet...wait...when...mmmmm...heaven!

Did I just whimper? Cause, I think I just whimpered, but I can't help it...she feels so good...and it's been so long and...my parents are downstairs...I've got to be quiet...but, how can I be quiet when she's kissing my neck like that? Mmmmm. See? Just did it again!

Her hand has slipped inside my shirt, fingers gliding over my back, tickling up my spine...goddess that feels so...My eyes snap open. "Buffy." I whisper, I have to stop nibbling at her neck to speak and, darnit, I don't want to.

"Gnnn.." She replies, too interested in what she's doing to bother to make any sense. Gnnn? Gnnnn? What is Gnnnn anyway? Well, she sounds happy enough. Her hand sliding under my shirt certainly is proof of how happy she suddenly has become. And I'm happy too. Wow. Of course, I'd be happier still if she'd...Whoa! Hold it...PAUSE!! Parents. Damnit. Why'd they have to be home for once? I want a happy!

My inner conflict prevents me from speaking, and not hearing an answer Buffy continues what she's doing. Which is good because I really don't want to stop...but bad because I know we have to. "Mmm, Buffy." I say again, desperately...her hand is starting to move higher...tickling along my sides...teasing toward the underside of my bra...and I'm losing my will to stop her.

"Will?" She breathes into my ear. Whoa! Goosebumps!

"Ulp." I think I swallowed my tongue.

"You wanted to say something?" Buffy murmurs, gently nursing on my earlobe. Tingles...lots and lots of...tingles.

I was? What was I going to say? "I...think...that is..uh.." Her tongue touches me behind my ear. Oh...goddess.."Nope, not a thing." I squeak, throwing caution to the wind. To heck with it.

"Good." Buffy murmurs, seizing my lips again. I'm lost...completely, wonderfully lost. Or is that found? Either way, my brain is way too fuzzy to decide. Our tongues battle each other, and I'm enraptured by the sweet taste of her, drinking in her groans of delight, as my fingers search out the soft, silky strands of her hair, my lifeline to reality as our kisses threaten to sweep me away. Oh how I've missed her...missed this so much. My heart is beating faster, I can feel it pounding in my chest as it's filled with the love she makes me feel.

"Let's never fight again." Buffy pleads breathlessly, through our kisses.

"Were we fighting?" I ask, equally as breathless, trying to remember the conflict she mentioned. It's becoming a faint and distant memory for me. She breaks off from the kiss. "Nnnnn.." I whimper at the loss of contact, but then she's looking at me so I rapidly search my memory. "Oh yeah." I grin sheepishly. "But you know...there's gotta be something said for the making up part."

"I love the making up part." She returns my grin rakishly and I feel my heart accelerate at the shear force of the passion in her gaze.

"Yeah...but...umm...Buffy..." I'm suddenly nervous of the look in her eyes, not to mention the ugly thought of my parents proximity and my fear of them catching us.

"Yeah, Will." She whispers, her eyes never leaving my face as her fingers begin to retrace their earlier path across my face. The touch is so light I barely feel it, and yet I know they are there, ghosting over my skin and leaving pleasant shivers in their wake.

"We...we can't...you know...cause of my parents...and the catching us thing...isn't exactly pleasant." I finally take my courage in my hands and spit it out, and I can't believe I actually said it. I prepare myself to accept the disappointment of defeat, not to mention the loss of the warm and friendly snugglies, before I look at her face, expecting to see her eyes get all disappointed and her face start that adorable pout.

But she hasn't lost that rakish grin...if anything...gulp...it's gotten wider. "Aww, come on, Will...where's that adventurous spirit? It didn't stop you, did it?" She says, her fingers tracing a trail down my throat, causing me to gulp. And then her words hit me. What can she...? Oh. I think I actually paled, cause she's chuckling at me, very seductively too I might add. She can't mean...during Christmas...on the couch...with her mother..right in the room. Oh boy...I'm in trouble.

"But...but that was different...I was getting you back...for the Bronze..." I splutter, knowing it won't do me any good. Buffy only chuckles harder at that.

"You know...you're very cute when you're flustered." She comments, her eyes flashing with glee. I can see she's having great fun with my embarrassment. 

"Buffy..." Have I really resorted to whining? She attempts to look more serious, though I can still see her eyes shining brightly.

"Come on, Will. You know I'd never do anything you don't want." She whispers huskily, and I can feel myself pulling towards that voice, that tone. Who says I don't want this? "But you know...I'm really quiet...they'd never hear me." She's gone back to nibbling on my neck...I think she's trying to seduce me...scratch that...I know she's trying to seduce me. And boy is it working.

"Well...you can maybe...but what about me? The last time I tried to keep quiet I bit my lip until it bled." Her face is amused, apparently remembering that little fling in the shower, of course, thinking about it doesn't really help my condition right now.

"Don't worry." Buffy grins, leaning into me. "If all else fails I'll just do this." Her hands are in my hair, pulling my head toward her as she takes control of my mouth again, her tongue probing deeply. Oh...I see where that could be...beneficial.

Goddess, is that ever beneficial! I'm moaning into her mouth, but I can't seem to control it. Being with Buffy makes me feel things I've never really felt before. I don't think I'm even conciously aware of it...it just seems to flow out of me...like my body has to sing praises for the magic she does. A knock at my door pulls us both rapidly back from the brink. I see a flash of panic in her eyes, that must be matching mine, before I spring off of her and look nervously toward the door. 

"Willow...are you all right...your mother thought she heard someone groaning." Oh Goddess! Not my dad! Not now! 

"Umm..." Oh great, why does my brain have to pick now to freeze up?! I glance hurriedly around the room, searching for any plausible explanation, before my gaze rests briefly on the television set. I don't recall even turning it on tonight...but there it is, displaying a movie I don't think I've ever seen, and which I obviously haven't been watching. "Uh...yeah...um...I'm just watching this old movie. It has a lot of violence...people shooting at each other and women screaming and stuff..." I don't have the foggiest idea if that's what had really been going on, but it looked like a safe bet. 

"And the car chases...don't forget the car chases." Buffy whispers at me, grinning mischievously when my eyes widen in her direction and I shush her with a finger, a scowl on my face. "So...that's...probably what you heard." I finish lamely, hoping against all hope that he actually buys that. I can feel my father frowning at me through the door, but he's way too polite to just open it...something I'm extremely grateful for at the moment. 

"Well, as long as you're all right." He responds, sounding doubtful to my own ears, or is that just my guilty conscience working overtime? "Just don't stay up too late. Your mother and I are going to bed. We'll see you in the morning." 

"Oh...okay...I won't...night Dad." I almost can't believe my luck...I'm actually getting away with it. I can feel Buffy's body, shaking with laughter, against my leg, but I wait until I'm sure he's gone down the hall, before looking at her. 

"We were almost so...busted." She whispers giggling helplessly, although thankfully silently. 

I simply stare at her, caught between being angry that she's finding my near mortification at getting caught necking by my parents hilarious, and giggling in relief that I actually got away with it. I settle for tackling her. "So...you think that's funny do you?" I ask, my best indignant look planted firmly on my face, while seeking out her ticklish spots mercilessly.

She defends herself admirably, but I know where all of her tickle spots are and just how to tickle them to get the best effect, so it isn't long before she's crying uncle. "Well...it isn't all bad." She says, as I relax on her chest once more, catching my breath.

"How so?" I ask, hoping she'll explain this one to me. I'm not finding the interruption of our love making nearly as funny as she is apparently.

"Well...at least we know where they are now...and they should be sleeping soon. So we won't have to worry about them catching us." 

"Yeah...my heart is grateful for the near miss." I growl at her, and she grins.

"You should see the look on your face." She's giggling, her eyes flashing with merriment. "It's priceless." Oh yeah? She still thinks this is funny, does she? Well, I'll show her...I'll...I'll...mmm...awful hard to stay annoyed at her when she's kissing me like that. And, who said she can kiss me when I'm still...okay...so I have absolutely no intention of stopping her...not in this lifetime anyway.

I'm not sure we should pick up right where we left off, though...I mean...shouldn't we wait a few more minutes? Just to make sure my parents are asleep? Apparently Buffy doesn't think so. She's massaging my leg with her foot and her tongue...oooh, that tickles...is doing really...really wonderful things inside my mouth. She sure knows how to scatter my thoughts to the four winds...especially with her hand rising slowly up my shirt...inching closer to my...eep! "Buffy!"

"Shhh...you have to be quiet...remember?" She breaks off from my mouth to whisper that in my ear and it sends warm tingles up and down my spine. "Oooh...but..." I can feel my back arching up into her touch...she's touching my...yep, that's my...and she's making those little circles that drive me crazy. I think I'm starting to sweat...yes, it's way too hot in here. Maybe if she...oh yeah...that's better...shirt was just getting in the way anyway...too constrictive.

What is she?...oh...oh wow...she couldn't do...that...with my shirt on. "Yes." I'm not sure why I said 'yes' I'm pretty sure I meant to say 'no...slow down...wait' but it doesn't look like I'm in control of my mouth anymore. Then again...with her sucking...no, nibbling...oooh, teeth...well...I'm pretty sure thinking is going to become a non issue before very much longer.

Buffy growls when she's aroused...I'm not even sure if she's aware that she does it...they're not distracting...they're not even very loud...but I think they're incredibly sexy. She alternates between my breasts, like she has trouble deciding which one she likes the best, so she just claims them both, and while she does that...she growls. Not that I have a problem with that...nosiree bob.

Her hands...goddess...her hands are all over me, but they're not harsh with her passion and that's what surprised me about being with Buffy at first...her gentleness. I mean, she's this great hero...this important Vampire Slayer...with the strength and speed to kill vampires, and she can hold me in her arms so gently...rock me like a newborn until I fall asleep, or bring me to the greatest heights of passion all with the gentle stroke of a finger. She uses her strength to great advantage though...she never stops...never seems to tire...and when she wants to undress me...she can do so effortlessly.

There's a time when we make love, when my thinking shuts down completely and all I can do is feel. Yes me...the great thinker...the one that thinks tirelessly. Seems the only thing that can get me to stop thinking is her...the feel of her undulating below me as we converge our bodies together. She sweeps me away...so gently...and yet so passionately. 

The softness of her skin, mixed with the odd contrast of the feel of her muscles excites me, the smell of her arousal and mine combine to create the most sensuous musk. She moves inside me and I forget how to breathe...forget how to speak...heck, I even...for a short while forget who I am. It's like I become her...or she becomes me...maybe...we just become each other...or we become a part of each other...yeah...that's it...we join...we are one for one timeless moment.

And then...suddenly...it's past me and reality is creeping back into our moment as I hear my cries echoing inside Buffy's tightly clamped lips. She's engulfing the sounds, matching and muffling them with her own. I feel drained, suddenly weak all over...open to her...vulnerable, but Buffy is holding my still trembling body, so that's okay...Buffy's here, and she'll keep me warm...keep me safe.

"Shh...shh.." Buffy's murmuring in my ear, petting my hair back away from my forehead and I realize I'm whimpering. My trembling hasn't stopped, in fact it has increased into shakes. It seems like a weird reaction...the funny part is, I don't even know why. 

"It's okay." She keeps murmuring in my ear. With one arm wrapped around me, rubbing soothingly up and down my back, she reaches for the covers, bringing them up around my shaking body, attempting to get me warm. I can feel tears around the corners of my eyes, leaking down my face, dripping onto her breast and I wonder why I'm crying. I mean, Buffy's the one with the huge problem, so why am I the one bawling like a baby? Well...probably because I've always felt Buffy's pain as acutely as my own. But to start crying right after she brought me to such ecstasy? I feel like an idiot.

"I'm sorry." I whisper, wondering what she must be thinking. 'Rosenberg finally blew a gasket' most likely, except Buffy doesn't know what a gasket is and probably wouldn't use the word in a sentence even if she did.

"Shh...it's okay...I'm here." Buffy whispers again, kissing me on my forehead. The words don't help my inner disarray of emotions, but they do help to settle me. That and the feel of her arms wrapped snugly around me, her right hand massaging the base of my neck, while her left rubs my back in slow circles. Her touch anchors me to this time and place, lets me know that she really is here, that she hasn't left me...hasn't forsaken me.

"I...I don't know why I did that." I can hear the confusion in my voice...she must hear it too, cause she brushes her lips gently across my forehead in another soft kiss. I love it when she does that, makes me feel loved...cherished.

"It's okay, Will. It's perfectly natural." Her voice is low, a quiet confession between two lovers. She interlaces her fingers over my back, I don't move, just letting the warmth of those rough, powerful hands, seep into me, doing something they don't get to do enough. Be loving.

"It is?" I can't ever remember crying after making love...not that I've been doing this for a long time...but still, I guess there really is a first time for everything.

"We were pretty emotional earlier. It's only natural...that it should come out...when we least expect it." Buffy grins ruefully at me, bathing me in her smile and it warms me from my tummy to my toes. Funny how she can make me feel better with just a grin. "Feel better?" She asks me, still smiling that fuzzy jammies smile at me.

I pause a moment, examining my emotions and discover I do indeed feel better...if a little embarrassed. "Yeah...I do." I nod against her chest, feeling her breath hitch as my hair slides along her nipple. "I'm sorry I..."

"Hey, no more apologies." Buffy reprimands me softly. "It's okay...it happens...it's nothing to get embarrassed over." Now that I feel better, I notice she's still strumming slightly...and it occurs to me that she hasn't errr..umm..released yet, had her fun, been thrilled, pleasured, experienced my love touch, been sent to heaven, achieved nirvana, ascended to the mile high club...been the victim of 'Willow lovin'. Okay now I'm getting hokey.

"Buffy...are you still...?" I ask, and my tone of voice leaves no question to what I'm talking about. Her eyebrows rise on her face as my hands slide up her chest...just to be sure, of course...and she jumps unintentionally. I'm pretty sure I'm grinning in what Buffy has fondly termed my 'wicked witch' look too.

"Oh yeah." She says quickly, and I can hear the pain of barely repressed desire in her voice.

"Oh!" I bolt upright, looking down into her smiling but slightly pained face. "Oh, Buffy...I'm so sor-" She breaks off my sentence with a kiss, her tongue swirling with mine before she pulls back to look at me, a mock stern look on her face.

"What did I just say about that word." She scolds me, and I have the good grace to blush.

"I..." A pointing of a finger stops my words for a moment, before a cheeky grin covers my face. "...love you." Funny how those three words brighten up her face like a warm summer day and make her eyes go all shiny.

"I love you too." She whispers back to me, and I know those words come from some place deep inside her...some place very true. She rises up to meet me and our lips meet, once...twice...I can feel her heart beating...pounding really, beneath my fingers, her desire once hidden barely beneath the surface is rising to the top rapidly. "I need you, Will." She begs me and I can feel myself responding to her need.

"I need you too." I assure her, my hands sliding down over her chest, playing with the soft slopes of her breasts. Not teasingly, I know her like I know the back of my hand, and I know teasing is not what she needs. She's about ready to burst...she needs confident...sure touching now. "Never leave me, Buffy." I plead, twisting her nipples with my fingers. 

"Never." She vows with a groan, bringing my lips to hers in a searing kiss. My hand inches between our bodies and she bathes me in her warm fluids, my fingers find their place unerringly and she arches into them, taking them into her deeply. "God Will." I can tell it won't be long...she's too excited by making love to me to be able to stand much more. Buffy's panting now, clutching on to me tightly. Good thing she knows her own strength or I'd be pulverized every time she climaxes. I can feel her inner muscles clinging tightly to my fingers, her head is thrown back her neck arching gracefully with the sensations and her lips reveal the slightest of whispers.

"More." She gasps, "Please more, slow...slow..but more."

I hook my free hand around her waist, not breaking the pattern of motion I'm doing with the other. Pulling her tighter against me, I duck my head down and gently take her left breast between my teeth, nipping and sucking at her nipple as my fingers work gently in and out of her. Wrapping my arm around her waist even tighter, I use the fingers of my free hand to apply gentle pressure just above her very swollen clitoris. I remember how she touched me mere moments...minutes before, the exquisite joy and pleasure her fingers gave me, and I relish in returning the favor.

"Gnnnnaaah..." She agrees! I increase my efforts, pushing harder, moving faster, nipping tighter and she writhes with every touch.

She opens her eyes to look at me, and I'm lost in the deep blue of them...the blue that convey so much love and desire, and then she arches again, rising up on my fingers before gently impaling herself...whimpering at the sensation. 

I move up and kiss her cheek, she's too busy panting to actually kiss.

"Yes." I encourage her. "Yes, my baby. Yes." My whispering soft and quiet. I feel so sexy, she feels so sexy, god I love her. I love this. I love her.

"Yes...let it go." I whisper and nip at her earlobe.

And then she does...with barely a groan. She tightens around my fingers, squeezing them almost painfully tight. Her hands wrap around my shoulders, holding me against her tightly, her muscles tremble with repressed energy as her hips thrust automatically, beyond any control, sense or whim, just pushing and wanting and wanting and pushing. Her lips open and flutter shut, I can see her clenching her teeth in her effort to keep silent. She almost makes it. A slight whine, in the back of her throat slips past her despite all the effort.

"Wiiillllooooowww....." She keens against me. Burying her head against my neck and sobbing. It's like a mirror of my earlier reaction. What causes it? Joy? Relief? I don't know, nor do I care, really. It's enough to know that I love her and she loves me. It's all good.

Collapsing in a jumble of arms and legs, we hold together tightly, neither of us wanting or willing, I think, to let go. I can feel her breaths coming out in harsh gasps against my neck, still trying to regain the breath so recently stolen from her during climax. I murmur a litany of 'I love you's' in her ear, and feel her brush breathless kisses on my face in response. It feels so good just to hold her like this, to feel her wrapped securely around me, her legs still curled around my thighs, our pelvises still clingling together wetly, our arms still holding and supporting each other.

We came so close to letting our own blind insecurities and fears destroy us. I vow never to let that happen again. Buffy is my lover, the person I hold most dear in this world, and the best friend I've ever had. I don't know what I would do without her...and I don't intend to ever find out. 

As her breathing quiets into a more steady rate, I realize she's gone all quiet. For a moment, I wonder if she's sleeping...which wouldn't be a bad thing...I certainly don't want her to leave, and wouldn't mind sleeping in her arms all night. My parents, on the other hand, would certainly wonder why I was having an impromptu sleepover party if she's still here in the morning.

"Will..." She speaks, startling me out of my reverie, and I realize, belatedly, that she's still awake. She's just been being really, really quiet. Her hand moves languidly through my hair, scratching at my scalp and lingering tendrils of pleasure seep mellowly into my blood stream, eliciting a passive groan.

"Buffy...?" My voice sounds husky, and I realize the calm quiet has been putting me into a pleasant daze, sending me closer to dreaming myself. 

"I still don't know what I'm going to do about Faith." She murmurs quietly, a note of regret and remorse lingering in her tone. The tone pulls me hesitantly, regretfully out of my warm, safe zone, and I feel bad because I want to be there for her, I want to know the answers to tell her...but I just don't.

I look up into her eyes, seeing the worry deep within them, and hunt for any possible answer that will chase the look away. I can think of only one reply, and hope that it's enough. "I don't either, Buffy. But...tomorrow...we'll go to Giles. He'll know what to do." I put on my best self-assured look and hope that she buys it. I don't know if she does or not, but she pulls me down onto her chest once more, snuggling into my hair.

"You're right, Will." She breathes, sounding sleepy as my eyes drift shut. "Giles will know what to do."

*****

I can still hear them...still hear the noise ringing in my ears. Damn her...damn them both. Damn this Slayer hearing. I can't believe it. I don't know what I expected when I followed B here. I mean, at first, I didn't even know she was coming here. I thought that I could stop her...that maybe we could talk. I know she's been upset about...well...about what I did in that alley. She's been avoiding me ever since it happened. Miss goodie two shoes can't get over it, even if the jerk did earn what he got. I mean he wasn't exactly the squeaky clean type. I don't get what the big deal is. I mean, so I killed a human...so what? It's not like he didn't deserve it. And to think...for a while I actually thought she was fun...maybe even a little cool. I mean, she was starting to come around to my way of thinking. I thought she was even starting to...to feel for me the way that I...she sure had me fooled. 

But no, now she's acting like this is all my fault...maybe seeing that sucker gutted was too much for her to handle. I should have known she'd run off to Red. That she'd be crying on her shoulder instead of crying on mine. Those two are so tight with each other they should be twins. I should have known something was odd with them. They're just too...giggly around each other. But I figured that's just what best friends do. How would I know? It's not like I've ever had one before. They sure had me fooled. I certainly didn't expect to find them boffing each others brains out...who knew they had it in 'em. I sure didn't...there's a surprise for me. Miss goodie two shoes getting it on with her best friend...The bitch. Both of them, bitches.'

So they're going to go off to their friendly, neighborhood 'Watcher' are they? Tell him all about how big, nasty Faith killed the poor, innocent 'wittle' human? Yeah, right B. Not if I get there first.


	10. In The Heart Part One

Disclaimers; Everybody sing along now! Joss owns them. He makes them sing, dance, run through hoops, and have sex with people who are not good for them. No money is being made here, just the poetic justice that comes with knowing that I will never let an unrepentant killer have his way with Buffy (excuse me, this soapbox is giving my feet splinters)!

Pairing; Uh, we’ve been going with Buffy/Willow for the first nine chapters, why stop a good thing now?

Rating; NC-17, but this one has a little more plot.

Spoilers; Dopplegangland

Feedback; Oh puh-leeze! JDMeans@aol.com

Archives; If you’ve got On Occasion already, go for it.

Summary; Buffy reflects on the night when she finally realized what Willow means to her.

On Occasion; In the Heart

By The Triumvirate

“I was alone, I took a ride,  
I didn’t know what I would find there—  
Another road and maybe I  
Could see another kind of life there—

Ooh, and I suddenly see you,  
Ooh, did I tell you I need you  
Every single day of my life?

Got to get you into my life!”  
—John Lennon and Paul McCartney

“Got To Get You Into My Life”

 

“I’m sorry to be taking up your time, Buffy, Willow,” Shelly, our Resident Adviser drones on. “The campus has had some problems with, shall we say, overnight guests.”

“Oh my,” I gasp for effect, as Willow briefly chuckles. “You think I’m doing something here?”

“Not necessarily, this inspection is just a formality,” Shelly quips. “I’m not here to play morals monitor, but we do need to have consideration for the other residents. If you are, uh, entertaining gentleman callers in your dorm, I must ask you to cease.”

“Ah,” I turn to look at Willow, who sits on her bed, her face an artist’s study of innocence. We had very little warning about the dorm inspection, just barely enough time to hide Willow’s ‘toy’ collection, and separate the twin beds that we had moved together. “Will, you haven’t been bringing your boyfriends up here while I was visiting Mom, were you?”

“Me?” she shrugs her shoulders. “What boyfriends? I’m too busy pursuing my diploma to consider having a boyfriend.”

“We’re not accusing anyone,” Shelly says blankly, as she sticks her head in Willow’s closet and sniffs. “We’ve just had reports of strange men hanging around the dorm. As I said, it’s not a matter of morality, it’s a matter of security. There have been incidents in the past of women being attacked by strange men near the dorms, and some of those attacks were traced to men who were invited into the dorms by their girlfriends.”

“Ah,” I nod, understandingly. I know more about these attacks than the campus does, way too much more. And Willow and I have enough sense not to invite a strange man, especially one we would have to ‘invite’ inside. 

“Well,” Willow asserts calmly, “you don’t have to worry about that with us. We don’t bring guys up here at night.” She gives me a brief wink when she thinks the RA isn’t looking at us. Oh yeah, truer words were never spoken.

“Well,” Shelly nods at us, “I’m satisfied that you’re not doing anything against the rules here. I’ll leave the two of you alone.”

“See ya around, Shelly,” Willow waves at her.

Before she leaves, Shelly turns her head and adds, “Oh, you can put your beds together now.” I see Willow’s jaw drop almost to the floor, kinda like in those freaky cartoons where the wolf sees a ravishing redhead on the stage and goes completely nuts. Shelly gives us a crooked smile. “Hey, it’s not like you’re keeping it a secret. Just keep the volume down, ‘kay? Take care, lovebirds.” She chuckles softly as she leaves.

Willow and I just look at each other for about five seconds, before we start laughing. We wind up in each others arms, a frequent occurrence for the two of us, and simply enjoy the closeness we share for a short while. I reluctantly pry myself out of her arms, rushing to my bed. Without either of us speaking, Willow picks up my meaning, and scampers to the side of her bed. “One, two, three,” I announce as we push the beds together.

“Okay, Willow,” I ask her. “Now that that’s over, what do you wanna do?”

“Oh, I dunno,” she sighs, “how about some of…this?” She flashes me a wicked smile as she casually peels out of her tee-shirt. I stand there, enjoying the sight, expecting to see her in a white lace bra.

She isn’t wearing a white lace bra.

Or a white cotton bra.

Or any bra.

“You came prepared, didn’t you, Wills?” I chuckle as a radiant, half-naked wiccan bridges the distance between her and me, pressing her body up against mine. She starts tugging at the bottom of my shirt, lifting upward.

“You,” she commands. “Naked. Now.”

“Hey, just a sec,” I reluctantly pry myself from her grasp, her hands lovingly following my body as I head for the door. Somehow the prospect of a total stranger walking in on us right now just doesn’t have that much appeal at the moment. Especially after Shelly’s little surprise inspection. I close the door, make sure it’s locked, and then turn toward Willow.

I almost don’t have time to brace myself before I’m suddenly attacked by a warm, clinging body. Her arms wrap around my neck, her lips insistently seek out mine, her tongue explores my mouth. I have to literally twist my head around to free my mouth long enough to talk; “Uh, Willow, bed, testing, remember?”

She cranes her head around, reclaiming my mouth with soft, pliant kisses. Without speaking, she backs away from me, making me follow her to maintain the delicious lip-to-lip contact. “Arms up,” she whispers between kisses, and I comply. She pulls my tank-top off slowly, and I feel the drag of cotton against my nipples, stimulating them further. Yeah, no bra. I came prepared too.

She directs me to the bed, turning us around so that my back is toward the bed. She then pushes me slightly, just enough to make me lose my footing, landing hard on the bed. Before I can catch my breath, one-hundred-and-five pounds of sexy redhead land on top of me, kissing and sucking at my bare skin. “Hey, wait up, lover,” I wink at her. “We’re still overdressed.” Willow gives me that wicked grin of hers, and soon we’re in a heated competition to see who can tear off the others jeans and panties first. I don’t know who won. No, I do know. We both did. Now, the main event starts. Live from the campus of U. C. Sunnydale, it’s the Buffy and Willow Show, the unedited version, with full orchestration, not for ages 18 and under. In fact, not for anyone other than Buffy and Willow. It’s always a private performance.

I start with Willow’s breasts, making tiny indentations with my teeth. When she pretends to complain, I answer, “If you call them nipples, then I should be able to nip them.” I start lapping around her aureoles with my tongue, savoring their taste and textures. Willow, on the other hand, takes a more direct approach, inserting her fingers in my well-lubricated vagina, stroking my clitoris in practiced circles. She starts slowly at first, then builds up the tempo, using my moans and cries as her guide. Suddenly Willow backs off, removing her hand, taking her boob out of my mouth. Hey, who said you could do that? Put that hand back now, Will---OH! 

She suddenly pushes me onto my back and starts to feast. Her mouth is clamped down on my nipple, and I feel her tongue and teeth working at it, at me…ooohhh, YES! Right there! 

Now she’s squirming against my body, lower, ever lower…her tongue brushing the lower edge of my breast, my ribs, my bellybutton…she puffs air into it, knowing that it tickles. She lifts her eyes, giving me the look of a precocious child, wondering how much she can get away with, but intent on being naughty.

“You want me, don’t you?” she asks me, her eyes glazed over with lust.

“Yes, oh yessssssss,” I hiss through clenched teeth. I gaze at her, amazed that how this sweet, innocent Jewish girl could transform into a sexual dynamo.

“Well,” she coos as her eyes lock on my vagina, now soaked with my arousal. “Is that all for me?”

“Yes—oh, yeah!” I’m pretty much reduced to single syllables at this point, only the most base of thoughts running through my head at this point. Fire bad, tree pretty, Willow make Buffy orgasm.

“Well then,” she flashes her elfin grin up to me, then lowered her head down. “In that case, I’d better claim it.” Before I can even gasp, she dives down, affixing her lips to my groin, her tongue lapping me like a cat at a bowl of cream. After all the times we’ve made love, she’s become an expert in my body, knowing where to apply her tongue and fingers, which areas on my body are most sensitive. Her tongue homes in on the tip of my clitoral hood, slowly licking a straight line down the nether lips. Oh yeah! Right--- right there, oh God! I’m grabbing at the mattress with my hands to keep my body from thrashing, every nerve from the waist down singing within me. I feel her mouth on me, her tongue in me, her teeth nipping at me—then I don’t feel her.

“Willow,” I complain, “where’d you go?”

“Right here,” she answers, as she crawls around on all fours, climbing on my body as she maneuvers herself, so that she is on top of me and her head is pointed toward my feet. “Open wide.” I open my eyes, in time to see her groin lowering itself onto me. I just have enough time to breathe in before my tongue is touching her pussy. I grab her thighs with my hands and scarf her down like she’s ice cream. I can’t get enough of her. Sweet, salty, with a flavor that’s uniquely Willow. I feel her body on top of mine with my hands, reading the way she bucks and writhes as I work her center with my tongue. 

As I’m eating her out, she’s returning the favor, lapping and prodding my deepest folds with her tongue and teeth, even burrowing inside me with her nose at one point. I’m gonna have to remember that one. When she senses that I’m on the edge, she levels off, drawing out my shudders, prolonging my arousal. As much as I want to feel that final explosive orgasm that I know Willow will deliver, I want the experience to last as long as we can hold out. I hold back, until I hear Willow groan in protest, then I dive back into her. We make a circuit together, our passion feeding each other, spurring us on to greater levels of ecstasy. “Buffy!” she moans into me, “I can’t..ungh!..can’t hold out any longer!”

“L--let go, baby,” I answer, feeling my climax building within me. “I’m right with you!” We’re no longer slow with our attacks on each other. We lick, stroke and nip each other with a passion. Three long licks from Willow’s tongue are all it takes to send me crashing over the edge, but I still manage to clamp down on her vagina, sucking the hard nubbin of her clitoris until I feel her spasming against me in her own orgasm. As my climax winds down, she manages to take a few more licks at me, stretching out my final shudders into smaller orgasms.

I don’t know where she picked that move up, but I gotta try it on her next time.

Willow slowly rolls off of me, but still manages to snuggle next to my leg as she lies on the bed. “Oh my,” Willow smiles wickedly as I look at her sated body. I can never get enough of looking at her, and seeing her after she reaches orgasm is especially satisfying. Not just because she just looks too cute for words, but the knowledge that I’m the one responsible for her current condition. “I think I broke her.”

“I’ll recover,” I answer. “Don’t worry about that. Slayer strength and all that.”

“I know,” she grins knowingly. She’s not the cat who swallowed the canary, she just ate an entire aviary. 

I smile lustily, lifting my body so I can see her face better. She raises to a sitting position so we can now hug and kiss each other. Our faces press against each other, and I taste both her arousal and my own. As soon as I get my second wind I’m going back for seconds. “You amaze me, Willow,” I whisper into her mouth. “You always know how to play me.”

“That’s me, Buffy,” she grins, “old Reliable. Just a geyser of sexual lust that goes off at regular intervals, as long as we’re alone together.”

She meant that as a joke, but somehow I find myself getting a lump in my throat at the words. She senses my sudden mood and her face suddenly loses that wicked grin. “Buffy? Did I say something wrong?”

“What?” I shake my head, clearing away the cobwebs of a bittersweet moment. “Uh, no. Just remembering something, remembering the last time someone said something like that.”

She pauses for a second, then her lips purse in a thoughtful ‘O’. “Yeah,” she nods. “That day.”

“That day.” That’s all I say. That’s all I need to say, as she and I tighten our embrace, not so much from mutual lust, although that will return later, but for mutual comfort. 

As I hold onto the love of my life, feeling her breath on my ear, I go back in my mind, and remember ‘that day’.

The absolute worst day of my life. And in a strange way, one of the best…

========

I saw her in the courtyard at Sunnydale High. The first thing I noticed was her posture. She seemed depressed about something. So I decided to do something about that. This is Willow we’re talking about, here. Best friend, lover, girlfriend, whatever else you want to call her. If she’s in pain, so am I.

As Xander and I came near her, I saw her about to peel a banana, as she said, “I'm eating this now. It's not lunch-time, I don't even care.”

“Hey,” I greeted her, keeping my voice light. Hopefully she’d cheer up at the sight of me.

“Willow,” Xander asked, “did you remember to tape Biography last Friday?” She absently muttered an “Uh-huh.”

“See, I told you,” I beamed proudly at my girl. “Old Reliable.”

That was my first mistake. “Oh, thanks,” she answered sourly. Okay, something war wrong with her, and I didn’t know what. “’Old Reliable’? Yeah, great. There’s a sexy nickname.”

“Well, I-I didn't mean it as...” I felt like I was in quicksand, struggling to get back to my original footing with Willow. Something was setting her off, and I didn’t want to make her madder, especially at me.

“No, it's fine,” she murmured sullenly, “I'm ‘Old Reliable’.”

Leave it to Xander to make it worse; “She just means, you know, the geyser. You're like a geyser of fun that goes off at regular intervals.” Oh yeah, that made sense!

“That's Old Faithful.” Willow wasn’t buying it.

“Isn't that the dog that, that the guy had to shoot...”

“That's Old Yeller.”

This was getting bad. I finally had to intervene, or Willow would stop speaking to me altogether. “Xander, I beg you not to help me.” I turned to the woman I love, seeing her disturbed features. I tried to comfort her, but I didn’t know what to say. “Will, I-I didn't mean it as a bad thing. I-I think it's good to be reliable.” As I said the words, I knew they were the wrong ones.

She stood up and glared at us, getting more annoyed by the second. “Well, maybe I don't wanna be reliable all the time. Maybe I'm not just some doormat person. Homework Gal.”

“I'm thinking nerve strike,” diagnosed Dr. Harris. I desperately wanted him to shut up.

Willow huffed at him and started to leave, but then she thought of something else that she wanted to say. “Maybe I'll change my look! Or cut class. You don't know.” She held up the banana that she’d been struggling with, pointing it at me like a lethal weapon. “And I'm eating this banana. Lunchtime be damned!”

She walked off in huge strides, and I tried to follow her. “Will, wait. I'm really sorry...”

“Buff,” she said gently, but with just a hint of sarcasm, “I'm storming off. It doesn't really work if you come with me.” She turned around and charged away from me.

As she left, I just stood there, wondering what had happened to her, who stuck that hornet up her behind. It wasn’t until after the fact that I found out the truth, that Mr. Snyder had corralled her into tutoring someone on the football team, I think his name was Percy, who translated ‘tutoring’ into ‘doing his homework for him’. I wanted to stake them when I found that out. Both the jock and Snyder.

Bottom line; my love was hurting. Which, according to the Book of Love, chapter six, verse twenty-three, meant that I was hurting as well. 

She needed to be alone. I got that, I feel that way sometimes myself. Alone can be theraputic, as long as it’s not overdone. I’d see her later that day, probably at the Bronze after school or on patrol, we’d hash it out, we’d laugh, we’d cry, we’d kiss, and in all likelihood we’d end up looking for a nice private place where we could get naked and sweaty. 

Part of me hoped that she didn’t eat that banana, or that she had another one with her. I started thinking of some interesting uses for a banana, none of which had to do with insuring we got our recommended amount of potassium. 

Jeez, Buffy, nymphomaniac much?

Around Willow, oh yeah!

I left for my next class with that familiar tingle between my legs, anticipating seeing Willow at night. Once she simmered down and I found out what was wrong with her, everything would be all right.

At least I thought she’d be all right.

========

That night, I made a quick patrol before converging on the Bronze. I was hoping to see Willow there, and maybe talk to her about her unhappiness. I had prepared and rehearsed what I wanted to say to her, knowing that I’d probably forget the script and end up adlibbing something. I wanted to tell her that I didn’t think of her as being predictable, that I had no intention of taking her for granted. That she didn’t have to let douche bags like Snyder and Percy walk all over her. And of course, that I was hopelessly in love with her.

Yeah, that sounded good. It would have made a great speech.

Too bad I never got the chance to use it.

When I got to the Bronze, the first thing that caught my attention was a ruckus at the pool table. My first thought was that a vamp had gotten inside and was doing the usual mayhem and terror thing with the Bronze regulars. Leave it to vamps to ruin a social life. Sorry, Will, but our lover’s spat was gonna have to wait.

I ventured slowly toward the pool table, not wanting to alert any vamps to my presence, and also to scope out the scene. No immediate sign of vamps. Someone was saying something about a barroom brawl, but it was cleared up quickly when a scruffy looking guy knocked a jock away from a small red-haired girl.

Xander. Willow. Had to be.

I started to tense up when I saw Xander. It looked like he was being mauled by someone in a black leather bustier with red trim. Blood red. I could hear her moan, “You’re alive.” She almost sounded disappointed.

“You mentioned that before. Will,” Xander quipped, “are you okay?”

“No!” the stranger wailed. “Everything's different.”

Here’s where I came in. “Oh. There you are.” Okay, not the best intro, but direct and to the point.

Xander didn’t even look away from me, as he greeted me; “Hey, Buff.”

“Aren't you gonna introduce me to your...” I started, when I took a look at her. The red hair I enjoyed running my hands through. The green eyes I loved to gaze into. The lips I ached to kiss constantly. The dominatrix garb…Okay, that was new. “Holy GOD, you're Willow.”

“You.”

That’s all she said to me. The one word, spoken with all the vitriol and anger I ever heard in Willow’s voice. Directed at me. What was wrong, Willow? How could I make it right?

I tried to keep things light. “You know what?” I went into Support-O-Gal mode, “I, I like the look. It's, um... it's, it's extreme, but it, it, it looks good, you know, it's leather thing, and, uh...” I turned to Xander. “I said extreme already, right?”

Willow stepped up to me. Her eyes were narrowed into dark, hateful slits. She gave me a stare that could freeze boiling water at ten paces.

But it’s what she said that caused my heart to nearly falter.

“I don't like you.”

The one sentence I would never expect Willow, MY Willow to say. Oh my God! What happened? Why was my best friend, my lover, my everything, suddenly turning on me? I had to know. I had to make it right.

“Will, I'm sorry about today,” I started. Feeble gambit, but I had to say something. “You know how my foot likes to live in my mouth. But you know... y-you really didn't have to prove anything.”

She glared at me with eyes that contained nothing but contempt. I felt my life, my sanity, my reason for existence slowly slipping away from me.

“Leaving now,” she said in a strangely sing-song voice as she turned away from us. Its tone, its sense of disconnection, it almost reminded me of Dru.

Dru.

My Slayer sense started to kick in, but I ignored it. It couldn’t be. No, dear merciful God in Heaven, no. Not…

“Will,” Xander called after her, “gotta say, not lovin' the new you.”

I feared what I’d see, but I had to see it. I had to disprove what I feared. I had to go after her. “Will, wait...” I grabbed her arm, desperate to find out what was going on.

She turned around, hissing, “Get off me!” 

That’s when I saw it.

The face.

Her face.

Her sweet, lovely, Willow face.

But it wasn’t her face, not Willow’s face. It was a face I prayed that I would never see in my lifetime. It was the face of a vampire, who had once been Willow Rosenberg.

My Willow…

And now, Willow, my Willow, was…

She was…

She was…

========

I was vaguely aware of my surroundings. I felt hands guiding me out of the Bronze, out to the street, into a car, into the passenger’s seat. I felt a sensation of movement as the car drove off. I heard a faint, distant voice, which I later identified as Xander’s, tell me that we had to tell Giles.

The first thing I was fully aware of was me standing outside the library door, Xander at my side. I was waiting, praying to awaken from the most horrible nightmare I had ever known. 

But there would be no awakening.

There would be no last-minute rescue.

There would be no celebration after this victory.

Of that much I was certain, for one real reason.

Willow Rosenberg, the one true love of my life, was one of the enemy now.

She hadn’t been fast enough. The bastards got her.

And even if we won this battle, there was no point in it anymore.

Willow was gone. And nothing would ever be right again.


	11. In The Heart Part 2

Disclaimer: All this belongs to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy(Grr..arrggh)

Drain Brameged Inc. Proudly Presents

A Mad-Hamlet Production

On Occasions; In The Heart

The ardor cooled a while ago.

Ha, I got to use ardor in a sentence. I'm just so bad, yes I am.

The rooms gotten cold, or maybe the passion just wore off. First Buffy cuddled up next to me

for heat and then after that wasn't enough she pulled the covers over us, than snuggled back down, curling up next to me, laying her head on my chest, the fingers of her hand idly drawing patterns on the skin of my belly. She's been quiet for a while now but I'm not overly concerned.

Buffy gets that way sometimes. A memory snatches her attention and she follows after it for a bit. With my comment about old reliable, and all the events that ensued after the previous time it was used, I can't say I'm very surprised that she's sorta drifted off. Whether it's because of the afterglow, the warm sunlight that's a thick, heavy yellow color; the mark of a sun just on the horizon, lancing through the blinds, or just that I'm tired, but I find my own thoughts drifting away.

I run my fingers through Buffy's hair while her nails continue their tracery on my belly. I lay my head back and remember...

I had gone to the library figuring it was the best place to meet Buffy, I was in a rush, wanted to get there before she left on her patrol. Lots of reasons why, I didn't want her concern for my state of mind clouding her judgement. Yeah she went on lots of patrols, and mostly there were newbies out there. It didn't ever change the fact that every night she was fighting for her life.

Her life!

Which was also my life. Enough said on that matter. Of course I had meant to go earlier but I'd completely lost track of time having had to worry about my homework and that...that....jock!

It was a good thing that I had already sworn off of boys or I would have seriously considered doing so.

So I was rushing down the hall and pushed my way past the double doors and entered the library. Well, I thought it was the library. Didn't feel like it anymore.

Haven't you ever walked into a room and you can just 'know' what kind of a room it is? It might be a study, or a den, or the kitchen but you can just feel how much it's been used. And you can say to yourself, 'Yeah, this is the den, and the living room is through that door, but this is where the family gathers. This is where children play with their parents and the family bond was made.' You know what I'm talking about?

The Library didn't feel like the library. It felt like a morgue.

Giles was sitting in between Xander and Buffy, who herself was not exactly sitting but sprawled across the few steps that lead to the second tier of the library. Giles and Xander were staring at nothing. Their eyes were open certainly enough and it wasn't like a hunk o'nothing had materialized in front of them. 'Cause that would be impossible, since nothing, not being a something cannot exist therefore it is nothing but it wasn't actually nothing because nothing can't actually exis... You know what I mean.

They looked lost.

Buffy though...

She wasn't staring at nothing, she almost was nothing. People put out vibes, something, that lets you know, or gives you an idea at least, of what's going on. Call it empathy, or subsubconscious understanding of body language, facial expressions whatever. It's there.

For Buffy it wasn't.

My footsteps seemed to double in volume with every step I took and I will freely admit that I was on the verge of a panic attack.

"Uh..hi guys!" I said, trying to force a cheerful tone. At that time, and even now to my own ears it sounded rather weak. Squeakish. "What's...uh...what's going on?"

Xander's head shot up to look at me and I saw something on his face that I thought I'd never see directed at me.

Hate.

I'd seen Xander angry, I'd seen him direct that power at others. Angelus, and Spike. Never at me though. I didn't like it and I didn't understand it at the time. Xander can hate so well; because it doesn't belong on him. He's a funny, happy person. A...bright kind of person and seeing something so black and... He's got such a nice smile and it's almost always there. Seeing those features twisted like that...it hurts. Even remembering them directed at me, with the space of time and understanding, it still hurts now.

He lurched at me and I thought he was going to hit me. In that instant so many thoughts flashed through my mind. Was someone hurt? Had he found out about Buffy and I? Was this his reaction? Had he hurt Buffy? What was wrong with Buffy? And Giles? What was going on? What had I done?

The large wooden cross shoved nearly into my face cut off such thoughts.

"Back!" Xander shouted at me. "Get back demon!"

I had a brief flash of extreme confusion.

"Buffy!" Xander shouted over his shoulder. "Get a stake, she would have wanted it this way!"

I opened my mouth to reply, to protest, to query. To do something!

Something was done, but not by me. By Buffy. I was looking at her the entire time, I hadn't taken my eyes from her, not since I had first entered the room. I watched her speak. Her eyes, which had been unfocused and empty moved over to look at me. She watched as Xander confronted me, I saw her mind working. At first she seemed puzzled, that small crease between her eyes saying so, then some sort of realization, some expression of recognition fluttered over her face. I almost began to sigh in relief when she started to say something.

"No!"

It was only a whisper, but it carried clear across the room, across the space dividing me from her, from Buffy. In that one utterance I heard such sadness and pain. I had no idea what was the cause but I was going to go there, be there for her. Lend her my support.

I brushed past Xander and his cross, ignoring both the puzzled expression on his face and the sudden question popping in my head. 'Why would they want to stake me?'

"Buffy?" I say quietly approaching.

"No!" She shrieked it that time. An exact opposite of her earlier utterance. I'd never heard anyone sound like that before. I saw pictures in my mind of drowning people, of screeching tires on out of control cars and toddlers in harms way as mothers watch helplessly. "No, please no! I can't do it again! Not again!"

Then Giles was standing in front of me. I thought it was Giles. He was taller somehow. Colder in lots of ways that I instantly understood.

"You will not touch her." His voice was tight, clipped. The skin pulled tight over the bones on his face. I'd seem him like this once before, only once. When we'd confronted the owner of the Costume shop last Halloween. Before we'd known Giles's background. Before we knew about 'Ripper'.

The last time Giles had spoken to me using that face I couldn't help myself but to obey. He'd told me to go, so I went, and now he was using it again and I had to get past him. Why were they doing this? What was wrong? Had they found out about me and Buffy? Had we been that wrong, she and I, and somehow missed the fact that our friends, our family, were rampant hatemongers?

"You wear the face of someone we all loved." Giles resumed speaking. He took a step toward me, being as threatening as possible. "But it's just a face now, the person is dead. You will not deceive us, and you will not get near the Slayer. I am not looking at my friend Willow, I am merely looking at-"

"Giles." I interrupted. I should have been hurting. His words were so cruel, and cutting, deliberately chosen to be so I guess. If it had been any other situation I would have been devastated, reduced to a ball of emotional pain. But Buffy was hurting and that was all that mattered. She had the back of her left hand pressed over her mouth, muffling her whimpers, tears, a cascade of them, made her face shiny and wane in the dim lighting of the library.

"Giles," I said. "I don't know what's going on, and I really want to find out what I've done to make you and Xander so angry at me but I just don't have time. So...so.." I took a deep breath. "I'm sorry."

That caught him off guard, he crooked an eyebrow and the tightness of his face vanished. "Sorry?" He asked in a confused voice. "What for?"

"For this." I said and kicked him in the shins as hard as I could.

It has to be a genetic thing, because he remained totally British. Giles just grimaced a bit bent over, grabbed the wounded limb then, without a word of protest of exclamation, wobbled, lost his balance and toppled over.

I darted around him to where Buffy was still slumped on the stairs. She'd watched the interaction between me and her watcher silently, except for the repeated moaning into her hand. When I stepped around Giles her eyes shot open wide. A strangled squack burst from her throat.

She started crab walking backwards, trying to climb the stairs to get away. She wanted to get away, to run and hide. To run from me. Her limbs flailed about and all sense of grace she had she lost. A hand slid out from under her and she crumpled. Curling up into a fetal position, an arm wrapped around her eyes, keeping her from seeing, not letting her know. Know what? Her other hand waved in the air feebly trying to fend some terrible something from advancing on her.

"Buffy?" I whispered trying to get past her flailing arm, even half trying her strength was formidable. "Buffy baby, it's me."

I grabbed her hand in my mine and she didn't fight back when I restrained it. Buffy could have, she could have just twitched a shoulder muscle and lobbed me clear across the room. She didn't though, and in some ways that terrified me more than anything before.

"Stay away, please stay away." I heard the catching in her throat. She was fighting back sobs. Something terrible had happened. "Don't come near me. You're not her." She continued. "Not her, not her, not her, not her. Don't make me do this again, please. Not again!"

She was shaking, her skin clammy and moist; almost feverish. I'd seen her earlier that day, at school and somehow between then and now something had come along and sucked all the vitality out of her. Everything was limp and cold. I could see the actual effort it took for her to remember to take her next breath, and I got the impression that, if she'd had a choice, she wouldn't have.

She'd been hollowed out.

Gutted.

 

"Buffy, Buffy!" I said more fiercely. "It's alright, I'm here. Whatever it is, I'm here. We're here. It'll be okay, I promise, I'll make it okay." Not giving a damn if Giles and Xander saw, I pressed her hand to my lips.

"See?" I whispered in between kisses to her fingertips. "I'm here." I lowered my voice even more, bringing my lips to her ear.

"I love you." I barely breathed.

Nothing.

I got nothing. No reaction, no stunning realization that whatever was wrong wasn't. She was too far gone and I, for a heart stopping moment thought I'd lost her. That whatever was causing this pain had been to much, had conquered her spirit and she had gone away, far away, somewhere to hide.

That wasn't an option that I was going to allow.

I released her hand, it landed on the floor with an audible thud. Pulling the hand she held over her mouth away I cupped her face in my hand, capturing her eyes with mine, not letting her look away.

"What happened Buffy?" I say quietly. "Please tell me. I won't hurt you. What happened?"

Her eyes rolled wildely in their sockets and I shook her head slightly to reestablish contact.

She looked at me with terror. Her pupils were huge. They eclipsed her eyes entirely almost, some darkness inside eating her up. She was scared.

Scared of me.

"What happened?" I repeated softly. Only a sliver of space between her lips and mine. Where, on other occasions, that space had been one of delight, and teasing, now it was an impassable canyon.

"You," She whimpered a few times. Her voice small and frail like a child who has lost her parents in a big scary building. "You were cold." She chokes out.

"You were cold." She repeated, fresh tears squeezing out her eyes and over my fingers. "Cold inside and outside. Dead and cold and gone and you were cruel. So cruel, you liked it too. You could have done horrible things, you wanted to do horrible things. I could tell. You couldn't wait to start hurting others. Yet..."

She moaned in the back of her throat and tried to look away. "You were still so beautiful." She croaked. "Cold, monstrous, bloodthirsty and...and..." She drifts off into silence.

"And?" I encouraged her slightly, my mind was buzzing with this information. Everything that had happened in the last, what, five minutes? Was just swirling in my mind. I should have figured it out but it was too much too fast. Xander, the Cross, Giles speech, I should have figured it out, thought how would I have been able to believe?

She looked up at me again, this time of her own free will and I had to steel myself not to look away. She was so haunted! "And I still wanted you!" She keened.

It was a quiet wail of despair. Not some full throated howl, just a light, whispy, cry. An infants failing, dying whisper.

It was horrible.

I swallowed a few times trying, desperately to think of something.

I stroked her cheeks with the pads of my thumbs, smearing her tears and mascara. The black rings of the makeup gave way to reveal black rings under her eyes that I could not wipe away.

"Do..."I swallowed again. "Do I feel cold Buffy?" I whispered to her." I gently blew my breath across her face, causing her eyelashes to flutter shut briefly. "Do I feel cold?" I asked again.

"Can't you feel it Buffy?" I started sliding my fingers from her hairline to her neck. "Am I not warm?"

I lowered my lips the last few centimeters and pressed mine to hers briefly. It was a chaste kiss, but it meant everything at that time.

I was there.

I was alive.

I loved her.

I was warm.

When I pulled away, her trembling hands were resting on my shoulders. As I looked back into her eyes the haunting terror was still there, but less so, now diluted by confusion.

"But..." She gasped. "But..your heart-"

"Is yours." I interrupted her.

"But it was dead!" She insisted.

Releasing her face I pulled her one hand down, over my shoulder and along my front till her palm was resting on my chest, directly over my heart.

"See for yourself." I whispered. The last shreds of my self control were not weathering this whole sitch well. I could feel myself falling away somewhere.

"Can you feel it Buffy?" I whimpered. "It's my heart. It's there and real and alive and beating.; beating for you Buffy. My heart is scared though Buffy. I'm scared. Why? What's happening Buffy? Feel my heart Buffy. Come back to me please. Feel my heart and come back to me!"

Said muscle was hammering against my ribs, I could feel it thundering in my ears, so hard and heavy that my brain was ringing in my skull. I was terrified too I realized. Something had attacked her, attacked us and it had destroyed...or it would destroy..Buffy unless I stopped it and I knew I was about to start panicking and that would have not a been a good thing and everything would have fallen apart and just-

Then Buffy grabbed me.

She sandwiched my face firmly between her palms, her eyes looking me over and over again. Again I felt like time slowed down. Her skin, her hands, were so hot, the skin rough and strong, yet soft. She cupped my left cheek with her one hand and slowly stroked my bangs away from forehead with the other.

"Willow?" She asked. She sounded kinda silly actually, I mean, of course who else would it have been, I was right there and it's not like I was wearing a disguise. But it wasn't silly. It was the most important question in the world.

"Yes." I said quietly. "I'm Willow. I'm here. I'm alive. I love you and I'm not ever going to leave you."

She was quiet for a moment. Studying my face intently, like looking for something wrong with it. Something alien and obscene so she could finally decide to trust again, or run and hide forever.

After a few seconds she made up her mind.

"I thought I lost you." She squeaked.

Before I could reply with the obligatory and oft repeated 'Never' she was pulling me down. Looking back on it I think I was still aware that Giles and Xander were right behind the two of us. I was aware of how Buffy and I might appear, laying on top of each other, her hands clasping my face and whispering in far too an intimate manner. I also am pretty sure I didn't care. I know I don't now.

She kissed me. In front of Giles and Xander, she kissed me. Okay, we kissed each other and I don't know how I knew, and I don't care how. I just knew it was something that had to be done, that she needed and it was right.

Kisses taste good. If you love someone you're kissing. Heck, if you love them enough morning breath kisses can still taste good; as long as you're careful. When kisses with someone you love taste right though...

She...Buffy.. it was. I was enveloped in warmth. Yeah, physically it was french kiss, but it wasn't. She was... asking for something; an affirmation and I gave it freely and she offered and I accepted. Over and over giving and receiving and giving again, never taking though. Never, ever taking.

Her legs wrapped around me and I felt her rubbing them along the back of my calves. She released my face and slid her arms down my shoulders and wrapped them around my back. I whimpered into her mouth when her fingers slid under my sweater, scraping my skin.

It was the whimper that did it though.

Probably a good thing too. I don't know if we could have stopped ourselves.

From behind me I heard the quiet sound of someone clearing their throat.

I reluctantly pulled away from Buffy and she let me go. Whatever wound she'd been dealt long since healed, I think. She was looking at me now. AT me. And she was smiling. I should have felt fatally embarrassed but I didn't. I just smirked down at her.

"We're so seriously busted." I whispered to her.

She lifted her head and nuzzled my cheek with her own. "I don't care." She purred in my ear. "You're alive."

I quirked an eyebrow. "Aren't I usually?"

Half in fear, half in dread, half in anticipation, hey I was with Buffy that makes me one hundred and fifty percent Willow, I turned my head to see the little audience in the barely completed drama.

Giles was sitting on the floor, still rubbing his injured ankle. A bit of guilt tweaked my mind but not that much. Xander was standing a little behind Giles and to his left. My best friend's jaw hung open and he wasn't blinking. I wasn't sure if he was breathing. The cross hung from his limp fingers and when it slipped free and clattered to the floor I jumped even though I knew it was coming.

Buffy giggled nervously behind me. I could feel my own lips being pulled up in some insane smile that would not be denied.

"So." Giles stated shattering the awkward silence, which was not all that good a thing, the end of awkward silences usally lead to awkward conversations. "I take it that the rumors of your demise have been greatly exaggerated Willow?"

He was smiling a half, somewhat hesitant, smile. Looking like someone who had found someone that they had believed lost but, upon finding them again, discovered that they were not exactly what he remembered. Whaddya know, that's exactly what happened.

"Um..." I hesitated. First impressions in this sort of situation are very important and I wanted to make sure I said the right thing.

"Yes?" I shrugged.

"Yes?" Xander exclaimed. "Yes!?"

He rushed from around where Giles was still sitting, grabbed me by the shoulders and pulled me to my feet. Staring into my face for a moment he than yanked me hard, wrapped his arms around me and gave me an almost painful hug.

"Hey!" I heard Buffy protesting slightly.

"God Willow." Xander mumbled into my ear. "I thought I'd lost my best friend! Do you have any idea how that feels? I thought you were dead, gone, deceased, some sort of soulless demon spawn hell bent on eating the pizza delivery boy, rather than the actual pizza..."

The relief he must have been feeling caught up with him and his grip tightened even more. I was touched by how much he cared, but I was somewhat concerned about the small danger signals my vertebrae were giving off. Something about stress fractures.

"Jesus Will." He said again. "I believed you were dead. I really, really believed it."

He was silent for a few moments longer then gently released his embrace. Leaving his hands on my shoulders he stepped back and just stared me in the eyes for some time.

Finally he took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Some sort of burden must have been released at that moment because, when he opened his eyes again they were my old Xander-Buddies eyes, alight with life, warmth, humor and...oh nuts...mischief.

"But you're not dead are you." He stated rather than asked.

"No." I replied, shaking my head and smiling up at him. "Quite alive."

"There is nothing suckworthy about this turn of events." He said smirking slightly.

"Nope. Me being still among the living is a total suck-free happening." I giggled. I really should have known better. I've known Xander a very long time and should have been able to sidestep his traps by now.

"Speaking of 'suck'," Xander interrupted. "Did someone hit me on the head and I, being so used to it, simply did not notice or were you sucking on Buffy's tongue not two minutes ago?"

"Yeah that's it!" Buffy exclaimed coming to stand by my side. If she was still hurting in any way her voice did not betray it. She always was good at hiding her feelings, too good sometimes. I made a mental note for her and I to have a talk later. Or something. I wanted to be sure.

"You're having a dream Xander." Buffy continued nudging me with her elbow gently. "S'all just some weird fantasy of yours. You have lots of those."

"Uh." I strategically added, I never really wanted to ponder much over Xander's fantasies.

"Hmmmm. Could be, could be." Xander said tactfully. He looked around the room slowly, being careful not to gaze at either me or Buffy. I knew that look, that was Xander's 'I'm Going to Nail You to a Wall in Three...Two...' look.

"No." He announced. "This is definitely not a fantasy."

"Oh?" Buffy shot back, hand on her hips, head cocked to one side. "What makes you think so?"

I mentally shook my head and tried to suppress a sigh; she should really have known better. I mean, this is Xander okay?

Xander shot her a triumphant smile, his arms folded over his chest. "Cause none of us are naked!" he announced.

Buffy's eyes bulged out and she took a threatening step toward Xander, fist raised in warning.

"Hey, hey!" Xander backed off holding out his hands in a placating gesture. "Joke. Joke really. Well, except for that one time...but that was a long time ago and I've never thought about it again. Except when I eat lime green Jell-O. Oh nuts." He muttered the last bit.

"Xander!" I squealed outraged, but in a good humored way. This is what we needed, something to reaffirm who we were, what we meant to each other. Family, being family I guess.

"Xander." Giles said carefully, putting his weight on his uninjured foot. I felt a flash of guilt when I saw him hobbling over to us but managed not to burst into tears or anything stupid. "I find myself oddly disturbed that you have me being in any of your fantasies. Past, present or future."

Now it was Xander's turn to gape as he got zinged. By Giles no less. That had to bruise the ego.

"What..who... how?" Xander sputtered. "You were so not there G-Man. I was just talking about these two." He gestured emphatically with a pointed finger at Buffy and I.

"Oh well that's much better than." Giles murmured as he looked at me fondly. His eyes said everything that his British upbringing wouldn't allow him to. He gently put an arm around my shoulders. "I am very pleased to see you well Willow and that our assumptions were incorrect."

"Yeah!" I replied while nodding seriously. "I got a pulse an' everything."

Giles stared at me a bit than with a muttered "Sod the rules." wrapped me in a gentle, rather paternal, hug. Not a lot of people had hugged me in my life, save for Buffy, I realised I'd been missing out.

"I'm sorry about kicking you." I said quietly stepping out of the hug.

"Oh don't worry about that." Giles said in mild amusement. He hobbled over to one of the chairs around the table and sank into it gratefully. "I'm sure it'll heal." He paused. "In a month or so."

"Sooorrryyy." I whined. Guilt, with the more immediate problems out of the way, was now running rampant through my mind. Actually, it was so close to 'normal' for me I sorta felt right at home.

Giles sighed. "Willow, I'll be fine. Really. I can understand why you did...er..what you felt you had to do. Not knowing the situation and what with the rest of us acting all so out of sorts."

He leaned forward resting his elbows on his knees. "However," He continued. "This doesn't answer the question, what exactly was it that you Buffy, and you Xander saw at the Bronze?"

"Yeah." Xander added helpfully, sitting down as well. He leaned back in his chair and, ignoring Giles disapproving scowl, rested his feet on the table edge. "I mean, I know I wasn't fantasizing then, she was real Giles. Fully three-dimensional, dolby surround sound, total interaction real."

"Realer than that." Buffy muttered taking the seat beside me. She moved a hand under the table and rested it on my thigh. Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't a gesture of affection, more likely it was to reassure herself that I was still there and really real. I put my hand on top of hers and gave it a gentle squeeze. She smiled at me, behind which still lurked some issues. I double-prioritized the mental note.

"Willow in case you don't quite know what we're referring too-" Giles began.

"I can guess." I interrupted. "Xander with the cross, calling me a demon," Xander flushed and started examining the tips of his shoes, "And you Giles, telling me that I only wore the face of their friend and really wasn't anymore." Now it was the Watcher's turn to look somewhat flustered. "You saw a vampire."

The quiet in the room seemed as sudden as the good cheer had a moment ago. Only not as enjoyable. Finally, after what was far too long Buffy spoke. Again her voice had taken that etheral quality, weak and not totally there. Her voice trembled as she spoke, and the clear message that everything was 'not alright' was very visable.

"Not just any vampire Willow." She said. "You."

"Me." I echoed. I wasn't that surprised. Not at all even. If they were acting like they had seen a vampire and treated me as such, than it had to have been me as a vampire that Buffy and Xander saw. Of course the big question was how was that possible?

Xander sighed. "Yeah." He raised his head and stared at me. "It was you Willow. Didn't just look like you, it was you!"

I squirmed in my chair. I didn't know what was bothered me more, the fact that somehow a vampiric version of myself was running around, doing God knows what, or that my friends were referring to me as an 'It'.

"Didn't dress like you though." Xander chuckled. "No siree-Bob it did not at all."

Now my curiosity was piqued. "Oh? How was she dressed?"

Buffy swallowed a few times. "Uh.." She began. "Scantily?"

"Mmm.." Xander mused, his lips pursed in thought. "I'd go with firmly. She was dressed firmly."

Giles shook his head slightly. "Fascinating though it may be for some of us to discuss how Willow's doppelganger was dressed it doesn't answer the question how two of.." He broke off and looked at me awkwardly. "Er..you, came to exist Willow."

Something was bugging me. A nagging thought at the back of my head was dancing around. It lent itself to an idea but wouldn't come out and give me the actual answers. I hated it when that happend, still do today.

I pondered for a bit, not listening to the others as they discussed possibilities to explain the arrival of my 'Other'.

Xander was postulating the idea that it was secret Governmental cloning experiments run amok. Giles thought similarly but had the bad guys being sorcerers or something. Buffy didn't say anything, just kept running her hand up and down my thigh gently.

Then the idea came forth totally. "Urk!" I bolted upright in my chair.

"What? What!" Buffy yanked her hand away, her voice laced with panic. "Are you alright? Are you okay? Is your vampiric twin connected to you somehow and you can see what she's doing? Is it awful? Can you tell us where she is? Oh God Willow I'm sorry it must be terrible!"

Buffy was staring at me, her expression one of deep concern and sympathy. I didn't deserve it cause nothing was wrong, well, nothing like Buffy was worrying about.

"Heh." I smiled. "In order received. Yes, yes, no, no, I don't know probably, no. It probably is but I'm not sure. Nothing like that Buffy, I just had an idea. I'll be right back." I pushed my chair back and stood up.

"I'll go with you!" Buffy announced standing up.

I paused. Okay, I should have seen it coming. Buffy was fully into 'Protect' mode.

I gently caressed her face with my hands. "Buffy, I'm just going into the office. There's a book there I need, if that's alright with you Giles." I said glancing at him.

"Of course." He said. "Do you have an idea on where your twin came from?"

"Maybe," I replied. "I just want to check something." Turning back to Buffy I smiled at her softly. "Office y'know. Right over there?" I pointed to the doorway with my free hand. "About forty feet away tops. I'll be fine."

"Yeah... but-" Buffy pouted a bit. "Forty feet is pretty far Will. And ..um...those books. They can be real temperamental. Could be all sorts of nasty things in those pages just waiting for some unsuspecting type to open to the wrong page and...and..I'm being silly aren't I?"

"Not at all." I leaned forward and kissed her gently on the lips. "You're loving me."

"Full time job." She answered before kissing me back. I pulled away with incredible reluctance and headed for Giles's office. I heard Xander comment behind me.

"Y'know, this is going to take far less 'getting used to' than I originally thought."

"Xander." Buffy growled.

I chuckled to myself and grabbed the book I had in mind off the shelf.

I started flipping through the pages. "Dimensions, dimensions, where is that spell on dimensions?" I muttered to myself heading back to Buffy and my friends. I didn't exactly hear the voices that were speaking. At least not until I got through the doorway.

"...have some bad news Buffy." I glanced up. Angel was standing next to Buffy, his bearing one of someone having a real bad day and having the added duty of having to share.

"What is it Angel?" Buffy was worried again, her face bleak. The fact that she had believed, truly believed, I was dead had really hurt her. I would spend a long time making her better. I thought at the time we'd both enjoy it.

"I...I just want you to know that I'm there for you. I always will be." Angel continued, dancing around whatever it was he had to share.

"Spit it out Angel!" Buffy commanded. Her patience was at an all time low.

"What's wrong Angel?" I said from the doorway.

He glanced at me, than back at Buffy, back to me again. He paused. Looked thoughtful for a second. "Uhhmmm...nevermind."

The silence stretched for a few seconds as we each separately tried to figure out Angel's strange behavior. Then it clicked for all of us at the same time.

"Oh." I said quietly.

"Ah." Buffy said rolling her eyes. "That."

"That indeed." Giles contributed.

"You saw her too?" Xander asked.

Angel looked hard pressed to answer that. "I...saw something, yeah. Can someone tell me what's going on here?"

"Er." Giles started. "As far as we can tell there are two of..uhm..Willow. One is a vampire the other is..."

"I'm not!" I said forcefully. "I don't where she came from, who she really is or anything like that but I am very, very positive that I am not some bloodthirsty, psychotic, demonic creature of the night!" I gave Angel a worried glance. "No offense?" I squeaked.

"None taken." He answered with a perfectly straight face. "I'm just glad you're okay." He looked back at Buffy, "But there's still bad news. Willow," He paused again and giving me a careful look clarified, "The bloodthirsty, psychotic, demonic creature of the night one I mean, is at the Bronze with some pals. I think they're planning a little party."

"How many?" Buffy asked. The doubt and weariness that all this emotional jerking around had caused was gone in a second. This was Buffy the Slayer now. Duty springing to the fore, strength of commitment etc..etc..

"At least ten." Angel replied. Giles had, demonstrating his ankle was indeed okay, quickly strode over to the weapons cabinet and had started handing them out. Xander snagged a crossbow and hastily stuffed two stakes in his jacket pocket.

"We go?" He asked Buffy. Angel reached out and grabbed some stakes that Giles handed him.

Buffy turned toward me slowly and stared at me hard, she idly ran a finger along the edge of 'Mr. Pointy' she had retrieved from her handbag. I met her gaze and I understood what she was thinking. Probably something along the lines of 'If I bring her, she'll be in danger, if I don't bring her she'll be alone and in danger.'

I put the book I had retrieved from the office on the counter-top. "Giles." I said slowly, still meeting Buffy's gaze, "Can you toss me a couple stakes?"

"Er." Giles said, still rummaging through the weapons cabinets. "If it's all well and good with you Willow, I'd rather just put them on the table and not have sharpened wooden objects hurled blindly about my library."

Coming to a decision of her own Buffy looked at Xander. "We go." She said with a nod.

I couldn't help it, I smiled. I had, and to this day have, no idea how hard it must have been for her to accept that I was going to be in a little danger no matter what. I guess she could handle that possibility. For now. Besides, what other option was there? Putting me in an airtight house on the bottom of the ocean floor? That wouldn't work. Sharks!

"Suited up." Xander declared his pockets bulging with stakes, holy water and three separate crucifixes hanging around his neck. I also noticed....

He saw where I was staring and unsuccessfully attempted to conceal The Star of David that was also hanging around his neck. I gave him a mock severe glare.

"Aw c'mon Will." He whined. "I mean, she is..er..was... at..one time. Hey, better to err on the side of caution okay?"

"Whatever Xander." I said rolling my eyes. I took any sting out my statement by nudging him in the ribs with my elbow.

"Everybody ready?" Buffy asked. When no one replied in the negative she started heading for the doors leading out of the library. "Okay gang, let's go then."

We fell in line behind her, ready to head out and face the darkness, conquer the evil, uh... right the wrongs, um..that kind of stuff. Just out the door and down the hall I remembered what I had forgotten. "Rats!" I exclaimed.

"What is it?" Buffy asked still walking briskly for the exit of the high school. I'd fallen into step beside her.

"Oh I forgot the book I thought we needed. You keep going. I'll be right back."

She paused and almost turned around but I intercepted her with an upheld hand.

"Buffy, there's protection and then there's obsession." I said firmly.

"Okay? So? I'm obsessed with protecting you. Sue me." She replied glibly.

"This is just like the office Buffy, what..I'll be...five hundred feet away? What's the big?" I gestured down the hallway we came.

"Yeah...but...Willow..." Buffy hesitated. "It's such a lonely five hundred feet."

"Get outta here." I said playfully. "I'll catch up."

"No." Buffy declared crossing her arms. "We'll wait."

"Buffy." Angel said quietly coming up behind her.

"We'll wait!" Buffy declared emphatically.

I sighed. Nodded. And ran back to the library. The book was where I had left it. Grabbing I turned around and headed back for the door intent of giving my Buffy a good talking too about over proection and how she was being far, far too careful. The cold hand that wrapped itself around my face, covering my mouth told me I might have been wrong.

The quiet lilting voice that purred in my ear and was far, far too familiar, told me I was most definitely wrong. "Alone at last."

It's one thing to hear about an individual's dark side. Their own potential for evil. A 'you' that has, somehow, been ripped of morals, ethics, their personal code, it doesn't matter what you call it. That's gone and they become someone else yet are still who they were. That's scary enough just thinking about it...anndd a little attractive too. It's something else completely to actually be confronted with that person though.

Because...because she was me.

Once upon a time.

They say that a vampire is merely a demon inhabiting an empty vessel. That the soul is gone. The books compound this statement by explaining how the demon takes characteristics of the person but is not the actual person itself.

I found myself doubting that and believing them more than ever before. At the same time.

It gave me a headache.

She was dressed in a very tight ....outfit. Her hair was identical to mine but she had on a lot more...makeup. Her lips were a dark, bloody dark, red. Shadowed eyeliner increased the effect of something serious being wrong and her pale skin...just..

What made it the most horrible was, despite all these changes she was me. I could tell. Her body language was totally different. Hands on her hips, said hips cocked sexily, her stance just a little too wide, like part invitation part threat. She smiled at me slowly and ran the tip of her tongue over those lips. But she was still me. I could see it. Everything may have changed, body language, tone of voice...eating habits..but there was me in there. Me! Trapped.

I found myself wondering a thousand things. Was Buffy a vampire wherever she came from? Did they love each other? Could they? Did she still find the same things funny? Or similar things funny though terribly twisted? Was...was she still ticklish in the same spots that Buffy loved to tickle me? Something in me made me believe so but at the same time I doubted whether she'd laugh. If I reached out and jabbed her lightly in between her ribs and pelvis there would probably be a ticklish feeling. She just wouldn't laugh, I doubted whether she knew how.

She looked me over. I felt like I was hanging from a hook and someone had stamped me 'Grade-A' beef. There had been times when I had really wished someone had looked at me like that. Any kind of attention would have been nice. Now that I had it, from Buffy and her looking was ever so much nicer, I didn't want 'that' look looking at me.

"Nice." She purred stalking toward me. I backed away keeping the distance between us pretty much the same. Or I did. Until I ran out of places to back up into. A darn inconvenient place to put a desk.

She reached out and ran one...very..cold palm over my cheek. Her fingers tips carving icy trails that lingered after her actual touch had ended. I had to swallow convulsively. Gorge was making its presence known.

"Fuzzy." She continued eyeing my sweater. "But nice."

"What do you want?" I demanded. Trying to sound a lot braver than I felt. I've tried that in the past, normally I sounded exactly how I felt. Scared. I didn't do too hot this time either.

"Your friend," she said, walking up beside me and throwing an arm over my shoulder. "Anya, told me you brought me here. She told me that you're the one that took me from my world. She...suggested that you could be,"

She smiled,

"would be,"

her smile grew wider,

"should be the one to get me back home." She finished. Her hand, was playing with the stands of hair that were over my ear, she was sliding the tip of her finger, with talon, over and along the edge of my neck. No one, save Buffy, had ever touched me like that. It felt wrong, it was a violation. It ...looking back on it..hurt somehow. Outrage gave me courage, or a near fatal case of idiocy, and I grabbed her hand and pulled it away from me while stepping out of her...embrace.

"Don't touch me!" I said as fierce as I could. It didn't really deter her she just kept smiling.

"Now now." She chastised. "there's no harm in playing with yourself now is there?"

All the air just left my lungs. I didn't even have the strength to even squeak in protest.

She toyed with the edge of her leather...clothing. The part that began about two centimeters from being 'indecent'.

"Don't knock it till you've tried it." She purred, sliding her finger idly ran down the center of her chest, between her breasts and stopping it just below where her navel would be. "Cause I won't."

She took another step, her finger followed a reverse course except it didn't stop, she dragged her touch over her own neck, past the place where anyone living might have a pulse, and then slid the tip between her fingers. She suckled briefly and I saw her jaw tense. Then she moaned.

"Mmmm..." Her cheeks caved a little. She was...sucking. With a quiet 'pop' she eased the tip of her finger out and held pointed at me, an offering. Her fingertip was bloody. She'd bitten herself and fed off her own ..someone else's...the borrowed blood. Stolen blood..I meant stolen blood.

"Want some?" She asked crooking an eyebrow. "It's finger licking good."

I shook my head feebly. I could hear my own heartbeat. Which meant, by her standards, I must have sounded like a drum quartet. "N-no thanks. I ..ate."

She just smiled again. Then she inhaled deeply, through her nose. Tasting the air, testing it.

"I know." She simpered. She hadn't moved, she hadn't taken a step yet she was suddenly right in front of, like she had slid across the space between us.

She dipped her head down and sniffed again right at the junction of my throat.

"Mmmm..." She lifted her head so her lips were directly next to my ear. "I can tell. I can smell her on you."

She started sliding her fingers over my cheeks again. It wasn't a caress. A caress is something you want, a physical memento and symbol of affection from a loved one. She wasn't that, she wasn't anywhere near that. Nothing there in what she was doing. Just flesh sliding over flesh. I barely repressed the shudder that so wanted to ...um..shake me.

"She thought I was you." She whispered. "In the Bronze. She was afraid she'd hurt your feelings somehow. She was trying to make it better."

A finger curled in my hair. "She told me she loved me."

"I wonder," she hummed still playing with my hair. "What it would be like to play."

She slid both hands over my cheeks, one stopped at the back of my neck, the other slid down over my back and rested just above my waist.

"Whaddya say?" She murmured, now she brushed her lips over my neck. I couldn't move. I just..I could have screamed, shouted, pushed her away, done something but I couldn't. She was all sex and promises and greed and power and dark and ..slick. She was so slick. Like oil on water. Like someone who hasn't washed their hair in weeks and then dives in a swimming pool slick.

"Maybe blondie would like it huh?" She nipped at my skin again. "Two for the price on one right? What's that called? A menage la threeway I think."

Thought requires movement did you know that? Bio-Chemistry with electronic impluses moving from brain cell to brain cell. That what happens when you think. I was so paralyzed, by...disgust and horror and... I was sad. I felt so sad for ...for her. She had been me, she had laughed and ..and been good at computers. Xander had been her friend I bet. She probably had been picked on by Cordelia too. She'd had sunshine and not so good times. Now she ...was something else. Something alien yet sill me. Still us.

Then she licked my neck. She lay the flat of her tongue on my flesh and licked from the base of my neck all the way to where my jawline began. She did this to me, leaving a thick line of cold, dead slime coating me. Then she said, "Wanna be bad?"

The licking. That broke the freeze I was in. With a shriek, rage, fear, disgust it doesn't matter, it was a shriek, I pushed her away and grabbed a crucifix off the desk. Now it was a conveniently placed desk.

"Get away from me!" I shouted.

Snarling she backhanded the cross out of my grasp, completed her spin and grabbed me by the throat.

"Fair enough." She hissed. She yanked me close, smashed her lips to mine before holding me out at arms length again. "Maybe she ate you, maybe you ate her. I don't care. I am going to eat you. Then after that we'll try it again. Who knows, maybe a good role in the hay will change your thinking."

She smirked. "Y'know what they say, once you've had vamp, you can never go back."

And her features shifted. And I knew I had been wrong, there wasn't any of me in there anymore. The books were right. It was just a demon. Too little realization too late.

Then I was dropped. She had let me go. I looked up and found out why.

Buffy was standing behind my 'twin'. Her hand was locked around the vampire's neck from behind and now Buffy was hoisting her off the ground.

She looked so powerful in that moment. The library was dark, most of the lights off and the illumination from the hallway haloed her figure. She was tall, and dangerous and wild. So beautiful and terrible and... I can admit it to myself now, being more mature, but I wanted her, Buffy, at that moment more than any other time.

"Actually," Buffy growled out between clenched teeth. "I'd have to disagree. Believe me, I know these things."

Then Buffy hit her.

Hard.

The vampire, she wasn't me, impacted on a book shelf lining the far wall and went down. She didn't get up.

Buffy was next to me in a heartbeat. I was still sprawled over the floor and she gathered me into her arms.

Her voice was running a mile a minute.

"OhmyGodI'msosorry! Iknew Ishould have come with you!Did she hurt you?Did she biteyou?Hit you? Any marks? Bruises? Willow? Willow can you hear me? How many fingers am I holding up?" Buffy didn't actually hold up any fingers. "No broken bones? Are you bleeding?

"Buffy." I said. She rode over me.

"She didn't..she didn't..do anything did she? Oh no she did. I'm going to kill her. I'm going to hurt her. I'm going to tie her down with ropes soaked in holy water out on the lawn!"

"Buffy. I tried again. Nope. She didn't catch it.

"Don't you worry baby, everything will be okay. I swear it, I'll fix it. Somehow. I promise. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." She was sobbing.

She was crying and screaming and holding me tight, and rocking me back and forth, it would have been soothing but she was rocking me back and forth so hard I was getting sea sick. It was, and is, the most touching, loving memory I have of us. It's also, I'll be honest again, kinda funny to remember. I'll never trade Buffy for anything.

"Buffy!" I said loudly, real loud. Almost shouted directly in her ear.

She stopped in mid word and stared at me wide eyed. I smiled at her, wrapped my arms around her shoulders and kissed her on the lips, stopping the kiss though, before she responded too strongly and we both got carried away.

"Over protection," I breathed in her ear. "Is a very good thing."

END  
Mad Hamlet Buffy Main Index

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAannnnd that's it. Shyfox was to do the final part of In The Heart which would have been the end of On Occasions. Sadly, around this time she pretty much vanished from any part of the community. Doubly tragic as her epic 'Sappho's Scrolls' would remain unfinished as well. 
> 
> Which is not to say what there is of it is not worth reading.


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